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January 9, 2008

Happy Birthday to me ...

I turned 46 today. Thank you Michelle for calling and singing to me. It made my day. My mom bought me a cake when I went to have lunch with her today (we eat lunch together every day because we work so close to each other). When I walked in, her whole office sang "Happy Birthday." It was priceless. Oh and I also got an LSU National Champions T-shirt too. w00t!!!!! Other than that, it felt just like any other day. Kinda like yesterday ... only 24 hours later.

Dad's procedure went well today .. not that we learned anything, but the scanner worked as it supposed to. We'll find out what all the tests add up to tomorrow. I did talk to him today, and he said he was feeling MUCH better. He also told me that he had been hurting since before Thanksgiving. I got one word for that ... DORKBUTT!

Currently, my two favorite songs are "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie and "Nothin' Better to Do" by Leanne Rymes.

Finally everyone at my office got BRAND SPANKING NEW IMacs today. I think I'm still tingly from the multiple orgasms. Speaking of, I need a cigarette. Talk to you later

September 17, 2007

Tons o' shit ...

It has been a hell of a weekend ... and in my life, that's saying a lot.

First things first. I know what many people think of me and I know what I've said before, but, well, there's no other way to say it ... I'm afraid I'm in love ...with the woman that I have called my wife for the past 22+ years (excepting the past year or so.)

I know I have probably painted her as this cold, frigid bitch, but I was wrong and I freely admit that ... well partially. You may or may not know that we have been spending weekends together (If not ... WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I HAVEN'T DIED ... JUST BEEN BUSY! DELURK ALREADY AND LEAVE A DAMNED COMMENT! Just kidding ... sorry ...) and doing a lot of talking.

Long story short, Saturday night we decided to reconcile. We had a really good weekend together as a total family. Both of us have admitted fault with the problems we had and both of us have showed by our actions that we are willing to face our faults and work to change them. We have a joint appointment with my therapist October 1. Wish us luck.

Second: Josh got picked for Jury Duty today. I dropped him off at 8:30 a.m. and by the time I got home, he was still gone. Ryan was too, but he called me to ask me to pick him and a "non-girlfriend" girlfriend up from the park and take her home. Got that? Good. By the time we got home again, Josh was still not home and there was no phone call. I decided to run to the courthouse to see if the dumbass was out of minutes and just hadn't called me.

I walked into the courtroom just in time to see him getting sworn to tell the truth. He didn't see me as I sat there and listened to the lawyers interrogate him.

I was so proud.

Continue reading "Tons o' shit ..." »

August 19, 2007

Life on Ambien ...

I just got my meds refilled and have started taking them again on a regular basis. I know ... shaddup! Lets just stipulate up front that I'm an idiot and be done with it.

So, the ex was here yesterday hanging out with me and the boys, we went shopping and did some other stuff. See, we find good deals on meat, buy a shit pile and split the cost. It works out well.

So while we're doing that, I invite her to stay for supper. We also went out and rented "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," "300" and "Bridge to Terabithia." It'll be a nice night of almost-family normalcy. Right? Riiiiiiight!

Have you learned NOTHING from reading this blog, grasshopper?

It's about 6 p.m. and time to take my evening meds. I grab my drink and upend the container holding the 9 bazillion pills I take per day and down them with a gulp.

Well, a couple of hours later, I start feeling really drunk ... woozy and kinda sleepy. It was about that time I remembered that hiding among those 9 bazillion pills was the pill that allows me to sleep nights ... yep ... my Ambien.

Apparently, I helped mowed the lawn, made a few passes at the ex, and fell asleep in the middle of TMNT ... all by 10 p.m.

Of course I don't REMEMBER any of this, but that's what the boys and the ex tell me I did and the lawn IS mowed so ...

Moral of the story? Fuck if I know! But I do know I'll be a little more careful the next time I upend my pill box and take the ones that make me do stupid shit like that out until I'm ready to hit the sack.

Remember kids: Better living through chemistry. It can be a beautiful thing ... if you pay attention to what the fuck you are doing!

August 10, 2007

Enough is enough ...

In other words, time to get that ... picture ... off the top of the page.

I know I've been a little lazy the past couple of days. I still owe you the next installment of "I think I know ..." But part of being bi-polar is that sometimes you're in a GOOD mood and don't really want to revisit those things that seemed so cathartic when you're down.

Maybe you can tell, I'm in the "good mood" phase or as a friend tells me: "You're fucking manic today, dude!"

So a couple of things: Why are relationships hard? I have gone through my life pretty much on cruise control. I got married back in 1985 and since then, really haven't thought about relationships much. It was just a day to day thing, doing what had to be done.

Now that I'm separated, I'm seeing how difficult it really is.

I don't like being alone. I know that. I've had others tell me that they see that trait in me also. But I don't want to settle. I REFUSE to settle! Life is too short to go through this shit again.

What do you do when you have an idea, really specific ideas, actually, of what you want your future partner to be and be like and yet? You always seem to find some flaw that disqualifies those you meet? Is there really a soul mate out there for me?

What if she's in Duluth, MN, or Riverside, CA, or even nearby in Lake Charles, LA, and I don't get to meet her because I'm here? Can I find her on the internet? Is that creepy that I have to ask that question?

What do you do when going forward seems disingenuous, but being alone is anathema to your very being? I know that to rush into something would just be T-R-O-U-B-L-E in the future. But I NEED someone to share my days with. I'm not good at solitude even though I am a solitary individual by nature. Fucked up, huh?

And you know what? Sex for sex's sake? Just doesn't fill that void (although I'll take it. Sheesh I still am a man after all!) I know! Never in my life did I think I would hear those words coming from my mouth (or, in this case, dripping from my keyboard.)

I guess the answer is to learn to be alone and happy with myself and my own company. Is there a school I can go to, a class I can take to learn that? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I look into the future and see a dark, foggy place. I can see my feet and the road they are on, but that's about it. I know what I want in a partner, I just don't know if I'll ever be able to find her. And if I don't ... what the fuck do I do then?

Second: I always read in other (funnier than I am) bloggers comments that "OMG I just peed myself laughing at that." or "I just spit (insert drink of choice here) all over my monitor!"

Does that ever REALLY happen, or are people just full of shit? Just curious. I know what I'm betting.

That's enough for now. I'm taking the camera and hitting the road. Wish me good hunting and Happy Friday to you.

August 8, 2007

Wednesday Randomosity ...

Okay. So last night, I told Joshua to go out and mow the front lawn. He went out and, in his usual half-assed fashion, mowed about, oh ... a quarter of it before giving up? Yeah, he's a ball of energy and responsibility, that one.

Fast forward to this morning. I was out on the front porch talking to the gas company about when in the near future I might have gas again (we've had some kind of problem and it's been turned off since the 2nd) and notice the OLD man across the street is puttering around in his yard. I get off the phone with the gas company (the leak should be fixed tomorrow sometime) and come back into the house to ... well ... surf the net and fuck off a little bit.

Have I mentioned I'm on vacation? Yeah, life's tough.

Josh spent the night with the ex last night so he could take a shower (no hot water here. see gas reference above) and be ready for a job interview at Wal-Mart. They got back a little after I came in and asked "Why is the neighbor mowing your lawn?"

***

***

***

That's right. The old man had gotten on his riding lawnmower and come over to finish Josh's job ... uninvited, without asking.

***

***

***

I need to go ask him when he's gonna weed eat, I guess.

Oh and JOSHUA GOT CALLED INTO WAL-MART FOR AN INTERVIEW! WOO HOO! This fucking kid (Kid my shiny, bald ass. He'll be 20 in November) has been unemployed since he got back from the failed attempt at joining the military. I was so fed up, I told him to have his shit ready because I was taking him every place in town to apply during my vacation.

Well, lo and behold, the first day of vacation, he gets an interview. Pending a background check (and just what the fuck do they have to check? He's a former fucking employee! Don't even get me started ...) and a drug screen, he'll be the garden center cashier. THANK GOD! Now he can contribute something besides keeping up with the story line of "Drake and Josh" and testing his mattress for firmness until early afternoon.

Finally, a joke. When I got to my current hometown, I looked up my high school girlfriend. We had lost contact through the years, so imagine my surprise to find she is living here, in almost the same place she did when we dated!

We got in touch and have hung out a few times since then. It's good to have an old friend to talk to these days. Well, she texts me occasionally with jokes and such. Never to be one NOT to attribute when I blatantly steal something, this is her latest offering:

"I just bought a racehorse called 'My Face.' It may not be any good, but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'Come on, My Face!!!'"

Yeah, she cracks my shit up. Laters!

August 5, 2007

Sunday Randomosity ...

She got a Mac laptop. Seventeen inch wide-screen, dual core Intel Centrino processors ... really a sweet machine. I spent yesterday afternoon and evening helping her set it up as she has never worked on a Mac before. It has two years left on the warranty ... and it was given to her. Free of charge. I'm so fucking jealous I could spit.

A small part of me ... a very small part of me thought about reconciling with my wife and seeing if we couldn't work it out. While I was there last night, we talked ... really talked. More openly and more honestly than we have in probably 20 years. I found out some things that really shocked me about her. I'm still trying to digest them, but I'm good with it. The end result is, we now both realize that It's over, no chance for kissing and making up. And you know what? I'm really okay with that.

I went to church today, on my own initiative, for the first time in years. Talked to the preacher on-on-one and may be going back to talk to him again later this week. It took every fibre of my being to take that first step. Now I just have to see if I have the balls to put the next foot forward. On a side note, Ole Blue, commented on my last post that " I did not read the handbook. I thought it may be a trick to lure me into a cult." You know? Some of the things that went on this morning kinda made me feel the same way. Does that make me a raving hypocrite? Seeking out the preacher's council while feeling a little dirty about the service? Well, it wouldn't be the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.

That's about it. Toodles for now.

July 29, 2007

It's amazing ...

in my eye (by Duke of Pornia)

How the most mind-numbing, automatic chores can just wipe your brain like a squeegee. Is it wrong to say I love doing dishes by hand, laundry and cooking? I didn't think so, either.

Edit: I wanna tell you something you may not know, but probably might have gleaned in the past month. A while ago, I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and prescribed medication to help me out with that. I know, I know ... I hide it so well, whoda thunk it if I hadn't mentioned it? But hey, again, that's the way I roll. Pfffffft!

The meds really seemed to be working ... I was a pretty happy guy. But some personal shit has transpired over the past month and the meds don't seem to be working as well as they did.

I have an appointment with Doctor Feelgood when I take vacation next month and really hope that we can get me back on track. So I just wanted to say, sorry for all the fucking downer posts. It's just that sometimes I feel like if I don't write it out, I'm gonna fucking explode or something. I can't really talk to anyone about it. I mean, SERIOUSLY. Would you want to be on the other end of that conversation? Puh-LEEZE!

I have never believed in the disease-of-the-month club. I was raised to just stuff it, suffer through it and get better, and by GOD don't you DARE burden anyone else with your problems! Admitting shit like that is weak and if you show weakness, you're gonna get steamrolled.

But I'm learning that depression is a monster bitch with sharp fangs and claws that she uses to perfection. Freddy Kreuger should take lessons. (Call me Fred, I'll introduce you.) I really am sorry that I do this shit and then send out the notifications, asking you to come suffer through it with me, but, hey, Misery loves company, right?

Can't promise that it won't happen again, but I promise to try and keep it a little more under control. I like you guys a lot and like having you around. Don't let this bitch chase you off, okay?

Oh, and one more thing ... thanks for listening. Love ya.

July 22, 2007

Catchin' up on a Sunday ...

So I meant to post yesterday but I had a small problem ... my toilet flush mechanism broke. At first I thought it was just the handle. I saw it had broken off on the first hole, closest to the handle end. Unfortunately, when I got knee ... okay, elbow deep into the tank, I noticed the flapper valve had turned to mush. It was time for a complete overhaul. Here's 4 of 365.

4 of 365 (by Duke of Pornia)

A few final adjustments, and it's good as new, and my manly-man, handyman reputation is still intact.

The boys and I went out to Ryan's Steakhouse to enjoy their breakfast buffet with my mom and dad. The superintendent of Vernon Parish Schools showed up with her sister and we had a good time. Let me just say, their breakfasts are supreme. All you can eat with free drink refills and if you can't find what you like to eat for breakfast on the buffet, chances are they don't make it. They have fruit, salads, deserts even an station where you can get omelettes made-to-order. It's a great buffet. The only downside is dodging the bird shit on your way in.

Ryansbirds (by Duke of Pornia)

Sometimes, it doesn't take much to amuse my kids ... like, say, stacking 21 full cans of Dr. Pepper? Yeah ... it only took them about an hour. Here's Ryan posing with the prize.

Ryanscans (by Duke of Pornia)

Alas, however, it's the time of the summer when my sister takes the boys for a week and hangs out with them in Houston. *le sigh* They left at 11 a.m. this morning and won't be back till Wednesday. (Ryan starts band camp (hold your jokes, please) Thursday so this year it's an abbreviated week.) Until they get back, I'll be all alone. Again, *le sigh* What to do, what to do? (5 of 365)

5 of 365 (by Duke of Pornia)

Hope I can figure it out before they get back. *le sigh*

July 21, 2007

Musically speaking ...

Linkin Park's "Somewhere I Belong" and "In the end" kick fucking ASS! Just sayin.

"Somewhere I Belong"

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

July 20, 2007

Where to start?

I guess first off, I think I'll go with my 365 project. Simple enough. You may or may not know, but I work as a journalist for the U.S. Army. It's a good job. I love what I do which mainly consists of telling the stories of the Soldiers that honorably and selflessly serve our nation.

There are some bad apples that serve, I'm sure, but I haven't met any of them. Most of the Soldiers I know have a few things in common ... a selfless devotion to duty, a deep, abiding love for this country and the ideals that it stands for and a willingness -- not a desire, but a willingness -- to give their lives in the cause for which they serve.They are men and women, just like you and I. They have dreams, problems, desires .. everything you and I have. I have laughed with them, sharing in their camaraderie, and I have cried with them as they mourned fallen comrades, a job I wouldn't wish on anyone, but a job I thrive in.

I don't really give a flying fuck what your position or opinion of the president, the war, congress or anything else is. In my humble opinion, these men and women deserve nothing but your respect. I respect them and take my job seriously. That being said, there are other reasons I love working for 'Uncle Sugar.' Here is one in the form of "3 of 365" I like to call it "A Good Job."

3 of 365 (by Duke of Pornia)

Yep! That's me going home at 3:50 p.m. on a Friday. God I love my job.

Next, I saw the most amazing thing today. I stopped in at my local Circle K, an offshoot of Southland Corporation's 7-11 chain, to get some gas and a soda for the drive home. Outside the door, in a bright yellow, flame patterned shirt, stood a tow-headed 8 year old boy. As customers walked in and out of the door, the boy opened it for them, silently, making eye contact with each one.

Now, that might have been strange enough but this boy had an accessory that I think he wished he hadn't. He was wearing a two sided sandwich board made of cardboard. The sandwich board, reminiscent of one worn by out-of-work men exhorting pedestrians to "Eat at Joe's," was obviously home made. Scrawled across both sides of the board, lettered in the hand of a budding eight year old artist, was the phrase "I stole from Circle K."

After noticing it, I noticed another thing, two women, one obviously his mother, and a family friend just ... hanging around, making sure the kid served his penance. As I was in line, waiting to pay, the mother brought her son inside and, in front of all those waiting customers, introduced him to the manager and politely, yet firmly, asked him to tell her what he had stolen. When he hesitated, she told him to speak up and stood there as he found his voice, said he didn't remember the name of what he had stolen and walked over to the candy display and showed her.

I walked out then, having paid for my shit, thinking that the little boy was a lucky boy to have a mother who loved him that much, and that if there were more mothers in the world like her, I might not worry about the next generation so much. Then it hit me ... sometime in the last 15 years or so, I've turned into my dad.

There is more, but this is long enough, so I will save the rest for tonight or tomorrow. It's been a good day. Thanks for asking.

July 13, 2007

Legacies ...

pain (by Duke of Pornia)

I am reading (listening to) "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" by Kim Edwards. I'm not really fond of the narrator but, putting her performance aside, it's a pretty good story so far. Reading it, however, some things in the story strike close to home. I listen to it in the car on my way to and fro and usually I'm alone. This gives me pause to reflect.
I've been thinking about legacies. I like to think of myself as I was when I was 25. That's the me I see in my mind when I think of things that have happened in my life. I know. It's totally natural and, in their minds, most people see themselves when they were young, in shape, virile ... whatever. Truth be told though, a lot of water has passed under the bridge of my life since I was 25. I'm not a dottering old fool by any means ... well I'm not dottering, anyway. I'm 45 and as I look back I realize that a lifetime has passed since those halcyon days of my youth.
What did I dream my life would be like at 45? I don't know. I never got past 38 in my thinking. I turned 38 in the year 2000 and I remember doing the math and coming up with that figure and thinking to myself that it was impossible. That date was so far in the future that I couldn't hardly imagine it.
Now, seven years on the other side of that ancient benchmark, I consider what my life has been ... my legacy, if you will. I have come to the conclusion that my legacy is a legacy of pain. From the first instant of my birth I caused pain for my parents. I was breech. I tore my mother to shreds. Not to mention I was about 8 pounds, which was big for babies back then, even if it seems to be the norm now.
I was carefree growing up. I had everything a kid could want, but I was an empty little fuck. Full of rage. At what? I have no idea. I continued causing pain with drugs, alcohol, running away, getting kicked out of school ... yeah I was a stellar child.
Later there was pain for others in my life ... the wife I cheated on, the kids I was never around for when they were growing up, more pain for my parents as they had to bail me out of one financial mess after another, the pain of losing a child and crawling into a shell, leaving his mother to get comfort from a stuffed rabbit we had bought as a going home present. Pain, exquisite pain.
The pain of friends who have breezed into and out of my life only to realize that I don't really know how to be a friend. A marriage ruined, pain for the wife who I ran off, the disappointed families, the kids who have to start their adult lives without a mother around. The pain in realizing now that I am faced with the job of being there as both mother and father when, in fact, I don't know how to do either.
I realized something today. I was standing on a pier with a dozen people or more, everybody chatting and laughing ... and I was on the outside looking in. I seemed to stand outside my body and watch as I came to life, the smile came to my face, I looked them in the eyes, shook their hands, laughed, joked and did my interviews. When the last sentence was recorded, the automatron shut down and it was just me on the pier ... again, the outsider looking in.
I used to think I needed people to be around. People who I could be close to, love, cherish, make happy ... and you know? I really do. I DO need people, I just don't know what to do with them when I get them. They always end up seeing through the charade. And then they are gone and I'm painfully comfortable in my aloneness again. But I do need people ... and I'm trying to figure out how to be real and be me around them. But it's hard, because through the pain, I can't see who I really am.

July 10, 2007

Why?

Why should I listen to a bunch of overpaid hypocrites lecture me on how to save the planet from global warming? A bunch of people that didn't fly commercial to the gigs around the planet for the Live Earth concerts (using god only knows how much gas and releasing ozone depleting chemicals into the atmosphere.) A bunch of people who's best collective idea was to use new, energy efficient light bulbs. I read that if the millions of people who watched the concerts (on TV and the Internet, using untold amounts of electricity) planted a tree every year on the anniversary of the day, soon the planet would have a much better climate due to the natural living processes of the trees planted. And besides, are the people that predict global warming any better than the morons that predict my 7-day forecast? Why should I listen to that shit.

Why is it Americans (and especially southerners) are the only ones held accountable and pilloried for the act of slavery when at the time it was a world-wide problem? Oh, and did I mention it's been outlawed for at least 45 years that I know of. (That's the span of my lifetime, I can't speak intelligently about anything that happened before I was born. God bless the American education system!) Why are we always looking to the past to assign blame for previous generation's wrongs instead of looking to the future and trying to make it the best one it can be.

Why am I getting offers for credit cards several times a week? Where were these altruistic lenders and good guys when I was so poor I had to choose between beer and food? And if they want to give me a $300 credit limit but charge my credit card with $150 of fees, what's the fucking point? Who do they think they're dealing with? An inbred dummy? Oh, wait ... yeah, they do.

Why am I taking meds costing $250 per month to stay alive and healthy, some of which are supposed to stop me from being so pissed off all the time, and yet, I'm still pissed off all the time? I guess I should just be happy that I'm healthy, but sometimes even that pisses me off.

Why?

May 2, 2007

Housekeeping and other BS ...

First off, I have had to put a small comment modification procedure into effect because of the amount of spam comments I have been receiving. Serious shit it has been about 25-40 per day lately. So, after you comment, just type TG in the box below the comment and it will post as usual. If you don't do that, it will be put in my junk folder and may take a little more time to show up. That's TG without quotes. Simple, huh? Thanks in advance for your cooperation. Now on to the "other BS"
My son is home from school today. School was canceled. "TELL US TOMMY! Was it an outbreak of food poisoning? Did the school flood? Did a sewer line bust or did they find black mold and condemn the joint?"
No friends the reason is much simpler than that. The teachers want more money so they took off to gather in the capitol to demand it. What? Don't believe me? This is from "The Daily Advertiser," a Lafayette newspaper.

BATON ROUGE - Gov. Kathleen Blanco will join members of the Louisiana Federation of Teachers in a pay raise rally on the Capitol steps today, but the teachers might find a cool welcome in the Legislature.

Schools will be closed in at least seven parishes because so many teachers and school employees have requested a day off to attend the rally, the LFT reported Tuesday. To some legislators, that shows dedication to their cause but to others, teachers should have stayed in the classroom, especially since there's universal support for raises.

The LFT said school systems in East Baton Rouge, Calcasieu, Tangipahoa, Richland, Jackson and Washington parishes will close all schools. Beauregard Parish schools will be open for teachers who aren't attending the rally, but students won't attend classes.
A delegation of support workers from St. Landry Parish is expected to join the rally.

Sen. Charles Jones, D-Monroe, whose district includes Richland Parish, said he supports the move because "it means they are committed to education. It speaks volumes about their dedication" that they are willing to take a day off to show legislators that they seriously want a raise.

"Richland is one of the parishes in the Delta where education needs are the greatest," Jones said. "A number of the teachers in the Delta are not certified teachers" because the salaries are so low that some systems can't attract certified educators.

"This is an unprecedented opportunity, from a fiscal standpoint, to help them," he said.

State Superintendent of Education Paul Pastorek takes a different view.

"While I respect every teacher's right to visit with their legislators and bring their issues to the state Capitol, I do not believe it should be done at the expense of children and instructional time," he said. "It is disconcerting to me that teachers would choose for kids to lose an entire day of school and inconvenience parents in such a way."

The governor has a proposal to grant each certified teacher and certified school employee a $2,375 pay raise and $750 pay raises to support workers.

The Louisiana Association of Educators and Associated Professional Educators of Louisiana refused to participate in the rally. Representatives for both groups said they prefer to let legislators know of their concerns about salaries and requests for raises in other ways.


Ya know? I love teachers, think they do a wonderful job (most of the time) and put up with shit that would make most of us run screaming for the hills, bleeding out the ears and clawing our own eyes out. Most days. Today? I'm with the State Superintendent of Education. I wonder how many of the fuckers took the day off and stayed home? GET BACK IN THE FUCKING CLASSROOM AND TEACH MY KID! GRRRRRR!
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

April 2, 2007

Over the top? Or just me?

So I'm driving to my mom's house today to drop off a batch of guacamole I made her for her Pampered Chef party tonight and flip on the radio. My regular station is kind of hard to get on post so I'm pleasantly surprised to hear the announcer coming in loud and clear. Suddenly they give the call letters and I realize that it ISN'T my normal station but something that's just bleeding through because of atmospheric conditions.
So as I'm contemplating whether or not this disappointment is worthy of hari kari, a loud "FUCK ME!", or possible a strongly worded letter to management, a commercial comes on that I just don't know how to feel about. Half of me wants to bust a gut laughing and the other wants to frown, get that fatherly "knitted eyebrow" look and shake my finger vigorously while uttering a harsh "TSK,TSK!" You tell me how you feel.

Her: George are you speeding again? You're gonna get caught and we can't afford another ticket.
Him: Don't worry honey, I've got the new Speed-o-matic 3000* and our car is totally invisible to all forms of police radar detection devices. AND it's guaranteed. If we do get a ticket, the Speed-o-matic Company* will PAY it!
Her: Well in that case, step on it. If we don't hurry we're gonna be late!
* Name of company changed because I was laughing my ass off and can't remember who it was.

I swear to God, I had to check twice to make sure I wasn't listening to the best of Saturday Night Live or something! I ain't making this shit up, I promise!

Next, we were driving around this weekend. Ryan took the camera and was playing around a bit. I stopped to get gas at this "friendly" little service station owned and operated by my friend Pakistani Phil. He's such a friendly guy, he put up a sign welcoming all customers to his fine establishment. The sign is about 8 feet tall and goes a little something like this:

stopthief (by Duke of Pornia)


Don't you feel welcome just looking at it? I thought so ... you thief, you!

This past Saturday, it was a boys day out, we went to CajunFest 2007 on post. Here are a couple of pics. Joshua was flipping the bird, so at his mother's request, I photoshopped it out. Ryan is just ... well, Ryan.

dad and Josh (by Duke of Pornia)


dad and ryan (by Duke of Pornia)

And finally, How'd you like to wake up with this staring you in the face?

peekaboo (by Duke of Pornia)


This is Jessie, my new puppy that might, just might, have some pit bull blood in her. Is it just me? Or do you suddenly feel like you're a big, juicy steak, too? Yeah, prolly just me. Either way, I'm locking the windows tonight!

March 19, 2007

Weekend part deux ...

So I'm back at work today and now I remember why I played the lottery. UGH! Sleeping till noon was really so much more satisfying. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention? I was on vacation last week. It was exquisite! Nah, I didn't really do anything, but isn't that what vacations are all about? Yeah, I kinda thought so too.
The power cord on my laptop has a short in it somewhere. I did some research on the internet and found that a new power cord is gonna run me about $70. I mean WTF? It's a damned POWER CORD! So I'm gonna take it in to a computer store here and see if they can't fix it. My mom has the same brand of laptop as I do, so I asked her to borrow her cord until I could get mine fixed (she doesn't hardly EVER use it) unfortunately they are two different cords and connecters. Fortunately, she let me borrow the laptop so I'm not completely going cold turkey but until I can figure out my password for my outlook express, I may be spotty on receiving or sending e-mails. I feel like I'm on a deserted island or something.
I don't know what got into me yesterday. I cooked my ass off. Homemade chips and guacamole from scratch, My world-famous pork and crab fried riced for dinner and an apple crumble pie for dessert. The fried rice was finished off last night and there is only about a quarter of the pie left so I guess they were okay. Oh, and if you get Blue Bell brand ice cream? Lemon Ice Box Pie. Trust me on this one. You'll LOVE it!
I have a pack and a few cigarettes left and I am gonna try to put them down again. Wish me luck. The doc actually offered some new pill that is supposed to help and I think I'll take him up on his offer. Either way, it's time to quit. I had a complete physical a few weeks ago and passed with flying colors. The diabetes, blood pressure and cholesterol are WELL under control. Heart strong, lungs are functioning well, but they say I have the lungs of a 65 year old. Not good but quitting now should help that immensely.
Okay, It's Monday and I gotta get back to work. Have a great week ya'll. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Me

March 14, 2007

Hi ... remember me?

calvin2 (by Duke of Pornia)
Yeah, yeah, yeah ... I know. So spank me (please?) I don't know what the deal is. I just really haven't had much to say and have not really been hanging out much lately. I apologize for that. A couple of things have happened though that you might find interesting ... or not. First off, one of the guys in my office (he works on the paper with us) got a job with FEMA in New Orleans. He is from near there so this is perfect for him. He drives from New Orleans and rents an apartment here during the week. It is a promotion and means he will be closer to home so I'm really happy for him. It really sucks though because he does a lot of work and will be missed in the office. The rest of us are going to have to bust our asses now picking up his part of the workload. Another good thing is that it COULD, maybe, possibly, I hope, mean a promotion for me. But of course, now that I've said that, there's no freaking way it's gonna happen. We'll see. Second, I went in to the boss and asked about the possibility of writing the occasional cooking column for the paper. Nothing spectacular, just a tips, techniques and the occasional recipe column. She brought up that it might be a good thing to put on the post TV channel. So I may have a cooking show soon. WHODA THUNK IT? Not me, but I'm kinda excited at the prospect. We have a professional kitchen on post that they teach culinary classes in so that's good and it would promote the class so it's a win-win for everyone I think. We are gonna sit down and talk about it when I get off vacation. Speaking of vacation, I took this week off so we could go watch Joshua graduate from basic training. It ain't happening. When Joshua was born his feet were really deformed, so deformed they had to break them and he wore plaster casts for the first six months of his life. He has never really had problems with them since then, but apparently they were just lying dormant. Once he got to basic with the constant running, marching, etc., they started bothering him. He was tested and diagnosed with a partial foot deformity and deemed unfit for service because of it. He was medically discharged and got home Monday. It's all good. He was disappointed but now plans to go to college and get a degree. A good decision on his part, I believe. So he'll find a job for the summer, put some money away and start in the fall. That, I believe, is about it. I am taking a road trip this weekend to get out of the house and spend some time with me. I'm really looking forward to it and hope to have some great pictures to share. I'll also try to post more and get by your sites. In the words of Lou Costello, "I been a BAAAAAAAD BOY." But I think I need to post more often. I miss you all. Well, until next time, take care. Tommy out!

February 17, 2007

My brother is in, I love my son and other crap ...

Well it's been a while again but you all don't really know what's been happening so I'll tell you. I was very depressed in the lead-up to the holidays so I thought I should go see the doctor about it. I did and he diagnosed me and put me on a couple of meds ... an anti depressant and a mood stabilizer. They seem to be working miracles. With the exception of a couple with the wife, I have not had a single blow up since then. I have been spending a lot of time with Ryan and we are really bonding like we haven't in a long time. We really are a lot alike. I think if I were his age, we would be best friends at school. That sounds retarded but I just get that feeling. I checked him out of school Friday to come to work with me. I ditched a little early and took him to get a haircut before his Valentine's Day dance at school. He really looks good and is pretty happy with it ... or so he says! After that we went to the pet store and were looking at ferrets and snakes and lizards ... we may get one of them (not sure which one though) when my wife moves out. Hee!
My brother Kevin was in town today. He is on his way to Shreveport to hit the casino with his girlfriend so I got to spend a couple of hours hanging out with him which was cool. Here is a picture of the Dynamic Duo.

kev and me (by Duke of Pornia)


Looks like Batman (Me) is starting to put on a few pounds. I find that I am getting my appetite back since I started on the new meds. I just have to keep telling myself, Ice Cream is my friend, Ice Cream is my friend! Here are a couple of more pics that I have taken over the past couple of weeks.

My Desk (by Duke of Pornia)


mousepad macro (by Duke of Pornia)
More on Flickr if you're interested. Finally I won another first place award in the Keith L. Ware competition. I also won a third place. I was the only one in the office who won a first place award and that story will now go on to compete at Army wide level. Wish me luck. I'm gonna try and get around to all of your sites soon ... Yeah, where have you heard that before? But I promise I'm gonna try. Have a great rest of your weekend and we'll talk more later. See Ya!

February 12, 2007

Where has my life gone?

Internet, forgive me for I have sinned. It has been eight days since my last confession. Where does the time go? I have been spending a lot of time since Joshua has gone to basic training hanging out with Ryan. It's kinda scary. Everyone has told me my whole life that he is definitely the fruit of my loins. My mom says he is just like me when I was 16 ... well, without the drugs, alcohol and thievery. I'm finding out they were right and it's cracking me up! He's a pretty good kid and I'm proud to have him as a son. It looks like he will be staying with me when his mom moves out. That decision has been made in the past week or so and everyone seems to agree it's for the best.
I am feeling WONDERFUL lately. I'm feeling so good, I don't know what to do with myself in fact. Things are really going well. I appreciate all of your concern. I hate that I haven't been blogging as much lately or getting around to any of your blogs. I hope that will change soon but right now? I'm just having a good time getting to know my son again. I hope you understand. Love ya'll and Happy Valentine's Day!

January 21, 2007

Where to start ...?

I've been away a couple of days. Sorry. But it's been a hectic end-of the week. I don't even know where to begin so it's just gonna be a bunch of random shit spewed out. Here goes ...

angelandstone (by Duke of Pornia)


I was dinking around Friday afternoon and found myself in the cemetery again. The pic above is one of the ones I got there. I love the photographic possibilities a cemetery offers. My question is, is it kinda freaky that I spend so much time in them? Or that the fascination with death and dying is such a prominent part of my life? Hmmmmmmmm.
Thursday night, I fucked up. There is no other way to put it. My son worked until 11 p.m. that night. You know I have problems sleeping and take Ambien to help me out. Well when I have to pick him up that late, I can't take the pill because by the time we get back, it's just too late. I would never wake up in time to get to work. So I take my pill just before I get in the car to go get him. Stupid, no? Yes! I figured I would zip down there, pick him up and get back before the shit kicked in. First problem ... he was running late. By the time we started home, I was stoned like a mother fucker! It was so bad that I had to pull over halfway home and tell him to drive. Second problem, he's never driven before. Yes, he is 19. No he doesn't have a license. He has never shown the first interest in driving or even wanting to learn. I don't get it but that's the way it is. It was a scary trip, but we made it home alive. Note to self: NO AMBIEN BEFORE DRIVING ... EVER AGAIN!
I have also missed posting my 365 days for the past few days so here are those:

Day 13: dayplanner (by Duke of Pornia)

Thursday


Day 14: smokin (by Duke of Pornia)

Friday


bargainshoes (by Duke of Pornia)

Saturday. My new shoes. Originally $69.99. I got em for $19.99. Tell me I can't accessorize! Pffft!


I had no stories due Thursday but it ended up being one of the hardest papers we've had to put together in a while. I don't understand it but it was.
I did get pulled off a boring change of command ceremony Friday for another assignment. The marines are training here and I get to follow them around for a story for next week. It's kind of unusual and should be a good article.It may be picked up by Army News so that would be good too. The only thing is, we set this thing up, I got up early Friday and went out there to do my thing ... and they paused the damned exercise! W.T.F.? So now I get to go back out Tuesday and finish up.
I also found out that I could/should/might be going to Fort Lewis, Washington, for a week. It seems that there is a unit there that needs the training we provide at the JRTC but can't make it down here, so like Domino's pizza, we're delivering. I think it's the first time we have ever done anything like this and it should make for a GREAT story! Plus, It means a little money in my pocket. WOOT!
There is just too much to tell in one setting. I'll be back later with the rest. Have a great Sunday ya'll. Laters

January 3, 2007

First HNT of 2007: The clean start edition ...

I apologize in advance. This post is gonna be all over the place as I am a bit scatterbrained today. It's the first HNT of the year for me. I've been playing since almost the beginning although I have taken the occasional week off. I have also been considering joining the 365 project. In case you don't know, the 365 project is where you take a picture a day of yourself for a whole year, hence the 365! It would certainly be a challenge coming up with 365 self portrait poses and angles, but I'm seriously considering it. I'll let you know.
Now to the HNT portion of tonight's program. I've always been told that the best way to start the New Year off is with a clean slate. Sounds fishy to me but I decided to give it a shot, so tonight I present me ... getting myself clean.

getting clean ...

Aaaaaaaaaah!


See if you make it black and white it's art, not porn. Which begs the question: If I post a nude and erotic picture, does that make me neurotic? But I digress ...
I have a confession to make. I'm actually not doing this for the new year. The truth is I may have a date Friday night and I'm just so damned excited I can't stand it. It's been ... what? More than two decades since I had one. Nothing fancy, just dinner and a movie but it's a step forward. I hope I still remember how to treat a lady! Can you tell I'm giddy as a school girl? Nervous as an alter boy at a priests convention? Sweating like Mike Tyson trying to read? Yeah, me too.
In other scintillating TommyNews, I had an eye appointment this week. For those who don't know (or care about this shit) I wear bifocals and have to get a stronger prescription. That plus the fact that my baby boy is about to join the Air Force, really brings home to me the fact that I am getting old.
You see, I know a little secret. A well known blogger that's very close to the Darkside (and the onset of Alzheimer's) has a birthday coming up. That's right friends and neighbors. Your humble (and yet? Totally witty, side-splittingly funny and damned good looking ... but most of all humble. No! Really!) correspondent turns 45 next Tuesday. Yay me! Pffft! C'est la vie. N'est pas?
For that reason, I have been doing a lot of drooling and pinching young chicks ass ... er, self reflection lately. I've come to the conclusion that while some wine mellows with age and gets more expensive, other wine comes in a box and turns to vinegar. What does that have to with the price of tea in Indo-China? Don't ask me! I'm old remember?
In any case, Happy HNT to you. If you want to, click through the pic. There is an uncropped version waiting on the other side. Don't worry, it's still fairly safe for work. There's also a rumor sweeping the internet that I'm "hanging out" on another corner of the web this week too. Look around why don't ya!
Wanna join in the fun we call Half Nekkid Thursday? Go see the king of all Nekkidness, the man we or at least I) call the Wizard of Os. Get the rules and get to snapping already! Now, lets get Nekkid huh?

December 15, 2006

Shotgun Friday ...

cross

Don't have a whole lot today ... or for the past several days for that matter but I'm sure you're used to that. So instead of whining about anything or making some stupid shit up to see where it leads me ... wait, that's what I'm doing here. Oh well. C'mon in and lets take a tour through the crevasses, canyons and cobwebs of Tommy's mind and see where we end up. Buckle up, it could be a bumpy ride!
First off, I don't know if you know it or not but a military base is a magnet for, shall we say, dubious businesses. There are the check cashing places that will front you money at a bazillion percent interest compounded hourly, easy financing furniture stores and used car dealerships, dollar stores (not the upscale dollar stores, but the trashy ones. You know the type.), mediocre tattoo parlors with semi sanitary conditions and bars ... biker bars, titty bars, "gentleman's" clubs (and I use the term very loosely here), redneck bars and just plain dives. Well I must be getting old (DUH!) because on the way in to work this morning I passed a dive. About a quarter mile up the road from said dive, there was a youngish dude walking on the side of the road. As I passed, I noticed he carried a couple of longnecks in his hand. The breakfast of champions indeed! And then, at a picnic table OUTSIDE the bar was an old man with a couple of beers in front of him, sitting and watching traffic pass. Did I mention this was 8:30 in the morning? Now I've closed a few bars in my time and never thought twice about it, but the only thing I could think of as I passed them this morning was "Don't you people have JOBS?" Yep, it's official! I have turned into my father. **SHUDDERS**
If you haven't seen the post below, check it out and we'll put this subject to bed. I received a very nice e-mail from this lady today thanking me for the article and the follow up which just reinforces the thought that sometimes our actions affect people we may not know in ways we may never comprehend. Apparently there was a trial after the accident that took her son. The person responsible for his death served seven months in prison. I don't know all the details but she has been fighting with that fact for several years now. Her letter today seemed to bring some sense of closure for her as well as relief that someone else knew the story and looked in on her son. It just felt good and I wanted to tell you about it.
Believe it or not, the federal government is not an endless cash cow! A few months ago we were told there was no more money in the budget for overtime. We were instructed to take an hour of comp time for every hour of overtime worked instead. Here's my question. If your workload is heavy enough to require overtime and doesn't seem to be letting up, when the fuck do they think you'll have time to take comp time? I do take about a day a week off but not enough to burn it all up. Even taking a day a week, I still have eight days built up and more coming every payday! That's on top of the three weeks vacation I have built up so far. I guess it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Pffft. Although I'd rather have the money!
Next week is the last week of work for me this year. I am off from the 22nd through the 2nd (at least) of January. The only bitch is we have to put two papers together this week: the Christmas issue and the New Year's issue. It's gonna be a bitch with much overtime I predict. On the other hand, thanks to the above mentioned comp time, the vacation isn't going to cost me a day of leave. WooHoo! ... What? Hey, I said I was brilliant, not consistent.
Finally, we had our office luncheon today. I am stuffed as a deer tick in the fall and think I need to go lay down and sleep some of this shit off. Good news though, I refined my piña colada cheesecake and it was a smashing success. So off to lala land for me and you? You have a great weekend. See ya on the web huh? Tommy out! Oh ... and apparently I need to get laid. Just sayin.

December 11, 2006

Monday, Monday, Monday ...

Bucs and Saints

Love and Hate

It's Monday and I ain't got squat. Okay, next to squat.
I had a great weekend (with the exception of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers losing to the Falcons Sunday. Pffft!) The Dallas Stars beat the Phoenix Coyotes and I got to enjoy that game with a friend of mine so that was good. And then in a game that tore my heart up ... The New Orleans Saints beat the Dallas Cowboys. Now, I could give two tin shits that the Cowboys got beat. I hate them with a passion. In fact the only team I hate ALMOST as much as the Cowboys are the Saints. See my dilemma here?. Yay the Cowboys lost but why did I end up rooting for the Saints to do it? I guess that's just something I'll have to ask my therapist.
I hope none of you were looking for me this weekend. I wasn't online or available much. I have been trying to devote a little more time to my photography and am trying to learn more Photoshop as well. I have found a new group on Flickr that I really like. It's called the 3Way Challenge group and I'm just kinda digging it. I just feel like I should be out with the camera on the weekend. You know what's going on in my life, and that just kinda makes it all go away. I start my Christmas Vacation the 22nd and will be off until the 2nd (or 3rd ... or 4th, I haven't decided yet.) I really can't wait. I haven't done the first bit of Christmas shopping yet so maybe next week (told you I was a procrastinator! Neener!) Ah, Christmas -- see Scrooge in the sidebar if you wanna know my philosophy on the whole thing.
That's about it I guess. Boring, blah, nothing to write home about. I'll try and be funny tomorrow or Wednesday. Promise. Have a great week!

December 9, 2006

Random Saturday crap ...

Ice on Wood 17
There is a Chip Mill and Woodyard near my home and for some reason they spray the logs with water 24/7/365. It got really cold here the past couple of days and this was the result:

Ice on Wood 2

Ice on Wood 14
Many more pics on Flickr if you're interested.
I found a new website that I kinda dig. It's The Gaping Void and it's got shit like this on it. You should check it out:
hjsdert02
and finally it's time to put the tree up. Somebody shoot me please? Or at least tie me up in front of this:
Coming through!
Have a good weekend everybody. For the FUNNY shit, see the previous post or two. Laters

November 27, 2006

What a freaking day ...

Man, I tell you what, it has been a hell of a day. It started about two o'clock in the morning as I was trying to put in a spam blocker to eliminate the nine gazillion spam comments on old posts. I installed it and it just wasn't working right. So I uninstalled it and cleaned up my mess. The son of a bitch STILL wasn't working right! Well, Brilliant mind and hot shot computer guru that I am, I figure "Tommy, why don't you just install the update to your publishing platform and that should overwrite any corrupt file that's fucking with your system." Sounds like a plan, right? Shit! Have you forgotten?
You're talking about Sir Thomas of Gunn, Grand Duke of the Land of Pornia here, you know the guy with the luck of someone who spends his life in a room full of black cats, walking under ladders and stepping on cracks just so he can break a thousand mirrors or so! You know, the guy that could fuck up a wet dream just by entering the room? Yeah that guy! (Okay it wasn't quite that bad, but almost.)
So I start the upgrade but instead of doing it the easy way, I did it in the most convoluted, bass ackwards way I could come up with. I get done installing it and realize I might have fucked part of it up and there is a better and easier way it could have been done. Luckily, the same guy with the bad luck also has the patience of Job and the tenacity of a pit bull on a bender when it comes to computer problems. (And it doesn't hurt that he's also a hopeless insomniac!) Bravely, our handsome (and well endowed) Duke sallies forth into the belly of the beast armed only with a fairly reliable FTP client and his wits. What's that you say? Oh, yes, our hero went into battle half armed. (Har de fucking har har. No! I've never heard THAT one before ... fucking asshat ... off with his head!)
About five o' the clock in the early morning hours, the soon-to-be-former Dutchess of Pornia sashays from the refrigerator, formerly known as the love nest, into the throne room looking for her coffee. Her highness is startled at the sight of a nude, wild eyed Duke muttering slurred profanities and hurling threats at his faithful companion, Sir Hewlett of Packard, Earl of Laptop. "Forsooth!" says the Dutchess, her dulcet tones echoing off the ceiling and scaring a pack of vultures gathering on the portico in anticipation of the Duke's imminent demise. Her ladyship continued, showing tender concern for the health of her liege and partner of 21 years. "Is you outta yo muther fucking mind? Don't you know you gotta be to work in about two fucking hours? Fucking moron! You been smoking that dragon crack again fucktard?"

Continue reading "What a freaking day ..." »

November 25, 2006

Giving props ...

Wow ... is my face red! I predicted for HNT that McNeese State would beat the Montana Griz in the first round of the Division 1 college football playoffs. I did my HNT in support of my alma mater but apparently they don't think I'm the least bit sexy because they went to Montana and promptly got their asses handed to them on a plate.
The final score was 31-6 with McNeese's only scores coming as a result of a pair of first half field goals. There was one bit of excitement during the game ... a Griz receiver went out for a pass and when he came down, put his hand down to break his fall. His forearm snapped in half a la Joe Theisman's leg. It was horrific! The young man was able to get up and walk off the field after his arm was immobilized so that's good news but DAYUMN! That had to hurt. So Os, Moose, Rachel and all the rest of the Montana Mafia, congratulations. The best team truly won and I wish you luck as you progress toward the championship. Just wait until next year though.
You know I couldn't go without posting a few more pics either didn't ya? If you are getting tired of them just say so and I'll listen and do it anyway. My smart assed son was bragging that triptophan only affected old people on Thanksgiving. He was under the impression that young people had more energy and therefore were less succeptible to the siren song of the after dinner nap.

Ryan passes out

Zzzzzzzzzzz! Snoorrrk!


This was about two minutes after he put his plate in the kitchen. HA! Punk Ass Kid!
Here are a few more I took while at the parent's abode for Thanksgiving day.

reflection

Forest reflected in glass


Blair Witch Tommy

Blair Witch Tommy says "I see dead people!"


Gear sprocket

Gear sprocket with chain


As always there are more on Flickr. If you can't find them drop me a line and I'll walk you to them or you could just click here I guess.
So there you have it. That was my Saturday but now Giada DeLaurentiis and Mario Batali are talking about Italian Christmas so I gotta go. I mean Mario is a great chef and all, but have you seen the rack on Giada? JAYSUS! Ooops, she just bent over ... Bye!

November 24, 2006

Meet the family Friday ...

Brother, sister and me

Meet my brother Kevin (middle child), my sister Alisa (the baby) and me (oldest and wisest)!

It's Friday and I'm still recovering from yesterday. I was up until 5 a.m. this morning doing some work ... Okay, I was fucking around on the computer and lost track of time ... shaddup! In any case I did tweak my template and got some things done that I had been thinking about for a while.
Most of you will notice no difference at all, but they make me happy. I also replaced my header. I don't know what to think of it. I guess I'm pretty happy with it but I don't know if it will stay long because I have some other ideas in mind. We'll see.
I have a ton of pictures to work on so I'll keep this short. The kids are gone this weekend. My sister took them back to Houston for the All American Rejects concert tonight, the STBX is working so that leaves me to my own devices tonight. I think I'll just kick back and relax a bit.
My dad is a packrat. He keeps everything and the back yard of the house shows it. There are old cars he bought and never got around to fixing, a million old lawnmowers, shit he's scavenged through the years for this project or the other ... and the first bike I ever bought myself. It was a Peugeot racing bike and I bought it with money I earned from a paper route delivering the Anchorage Times. I found it in the weeds yesterday and broke out the macro lens. I know you're getting tired of this shit but it's the phase I'm in right now. Better that than whining about how much life sucks, right? I agree so here are a couple to start off with.

branches and seat

rusty chain

Now go away. I gotta get back to work ... or sleep, whatever.

November 23, 2006

Thankful some more ...

blue eye

Oh man, am I freaking miserable! This kinda pisses me off. I had one single plate for dinner tonight. That plate consisted of dressing, mashed potatoes, lima beans, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce. It was a small plate but I am still stuffed and miserable nine hours later! I didn't even eat any turkey or ham ya'll! WTF is wrong with me? Oh well, it's all over but the bellyache now I suppose. The important thing is I spent a wonderful day with my family and had a great time. I have a point and shoot camera that I am sooooo thankful for. Remember? It's the one I researched with Beth, went over the options and then bought what she told me to? Yeah, that one. It's a Sony Cybershot DSC P200. I also bought the adapter and the wide conversion lens. I love, Love, LOVE this camera! While I was over at mom and dad's getting stuffed better than the turkey was, I took about 150 pics. Now they all aren't great shots but I think there are a few in there. I am going to be photoshopping them this weekend and posting them on Flickr. Here is just one of them.

my eye

I am very thankful for my camera and the pictures I am able to capture with it. I hope you got as miserable as I did today and that it was a good day for you. I need to get to bed now ... I'm miserable from the food ... or hadn't you heard? Oh and Black Friday? If you take part you are a braver man than I am Charlie Brown. I think I'll continue my usual tradition of doing all my shopping the weekend before Christmas and take my chances then. I mean everybody loves a Summer Sausage gift basket from 7-11, right? Happy Thanksgiving. I'll be back tomorrow with more pics to share. (God I'm such a girl!)

November 19, 2006

More random Sunday crap ...

Want some?

Bring it ...
stolen from here

Today? I'm waiting on a pina colada cheesecake to cool. One can of crushed pineapple and a cup of shredded coconut added with coconut sprinkled on top. MMMMM. There was something else I was going to blog about but I'll be damned if I can remember what it was. I really need to start writing shit down.
On the positive side, I slept in a bit today and then walked around the house stark raving ass naked until about 2 p.m. It was freaking glorious! You should try it sometime.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that I am a little nervous about. Some of you know what it is and will understand. The rest of you please just send good thoughts. It isn't life threatening or anything but it's enough to worry me a bit. I may or may not talk about it here as it is pretty personal and not something I'm dying to stand on the mountaintop and shout to the world.
Finally on this week of Thanksgiving, I want to tell you, my readers and friends, thank you. You all mean the world to me (yes, even you lurkers. I see you out there. Why don't you come out of the closet and say "Hi?" I don't bite ... unless you're into that kind of thing) and I appreciate you on levels you will never know about. Thanks for making me a part of your life. Hope your week goes well and wish me luck.

Clowns

I hate clowns!
again, stolen from here


November 18, 2006

Kids, the F-bomb, apathy and the camera ...

First off, I had to work today. Really? That's not a bad thing. I had to take a few pictures and do a couple of segments for T.V. Easy money.
I wanted to be at work by about 10:30 a.m. My youngest son, who is spending the night with grandma (and knows when I want to leave), has gone to breakfast with his GF. She conveniently doesn't answer her phone or check her messages as we are trying to get hold of him. Parents are getting more pissed as time rolls on.
They drag their asses back into the house about 11. Between the pissiness and all, we get loaded up and on the road. I'm talking to him, or trying to, about what's going on at the house, reassuring him that even though his mom and I may get pissy at each other, we shouldn't take it out on them. Apologizing for doing so. He's having a tough time with the divorce and the uncertainty I think. As were talking, I notice he's chewing his fingernails. THEY LOOK HORRIBLE. Take a look.

Chewed to the quick!

All together now .. IEW!


I mention that he has fingers like his uncle and grandma who used to gnaw their fingernails halfway up the nail bed. It was disgusting! He calmly looks over at me and says "No. It's a fucking hangnail!" I was so shocked all I could do was laugh about it. Here is the offending nail.

Hangnail

Ok! Double IEW!


Like I always say, at least he ain't doing the same shit I was doing when I was his a