**

Confusion, ancient Oriental wise man, once say "When blogger make no sense, randomosity is created in post." Thus is it written in The Book of Literarians, Chapter 7 verse 16.
1) Okay .. the smoking thing is going okay ... so far, but I'm sure I'll find some way to screw it up.
2) The wife moved out of the house yesterday. She was in tears and didn't even tell me goodbye. She did talk to the boys before she left. I called her to ask where she was and she told me "On my way." I said "Without even saying goodbye?" She cried more, told me she talked to the boys but she couldn't tell me goodbye. Some are surprised that I expect any civility or other normal form of non-hate filled societal behavior and feelings from her. Am I fucking nuts? Am I totally wrong?
3)Third, I wash the dishes prior to putting them in the dishwasher. I don't rinse them off, I basically wash them clean, THEN put them in the dishwasher. They come out covered in oil and grease. Does anybody know what the fuck is going on here? It looks clean on the inside, the water is not backing up, there is no insinkerator or other garbage disposal attached. I need HELP! or ideas at least.
4) If we can figure that out, then I will need help figuring out what the hell is leaking from my fridge. It isn't the overflow tray and there is no ice maker attached, but every couple of days water fills the depression under my crisper drawers and begins leaking out the corner of the fridge.
"For it is given unto those with awesome hand tools and the knowledge of how to use them to help the meek and ungainly figure out what the fuck is happening in their houses." The book of Home Depotians, Chapter 13 Verse 3-6.
Can I get a hand in the air and an "AMEN" from the Home Deposians? Brothers and sisters it has been written that "God helps those who know what the fuck they are doing and deign to share that knowledge with the infirm of mind or experience." Book of Stupidity, Chapter 19, verse 23-30. It's been written, it's been said, now how about giving a tool-less unclean village idiot a hand ... or at least idea. Praise Confusion from whom all blessings flow.
Amen
Now I'm off to chase a few women on the Island of Lesbos. I figure I'm bound to find a few bi-curious members of that stellar society. Wish me luck and remember ...

To read more words of wisdom from this venerable eastern sage, (Confusion, not Jesus) click the continue reading button.

Continue reading "Stupid Single Guy ..." »

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 10:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

First off, If you are a friend of Betchacantguesswho's, go here and then take a minute to say a little prayer won't you?
Okay, today was my 45th birthday. It was great! Thanks to everyone who took the time to make it a good one. I was IM'ed and left an e-card first thing this morning, I got another e-card and a gift certificate to Amazon.com from a special friend and my mom surprised me with a party at her office. She told me she was going to buy me lunch and asked what I wanted. You know? Birthdays really aren't a big deal for me. Haven't been for a long time, so I told her to just pick something. Anything would be fine with me. Well, when I walked into her office at noon, the whole office sang "Happy Birthday" to me, they had a crock pot full of barbecue waiting as well as a cake and a Boston creme pie! Thanks mom!
There were also plans for Duck a L'orange, bacon wrapped asparagus and parsley potatoes for my birthday dinner. Small change in plans. First, both the boys were here so I wasn't alone all night. Second, the asparagus looked like shit and was expensive as hell. Now, I don't mind paying for asparagus or any other fresh vegetable for that matter, but if I'm gonna shell out the ducks (no pun intended), it needs to at least LOOK fresh ... you listening Wal-Mart?
I also changed my mind on the duck preparation. I ended up making Chinatown Steamed and Roasted Duck with parsley potatoes. Damn, it really turned out GOOD! Here's a pic of the finished product before we demolished it.

Another thing I got today was my new glasses. I got a call at work that they were in so I went and picked them up. Yeah, I'm definitely 45. My eyes (at least my close vision) have deteriorated over the past year. I am pleased to say, however, that there was no sign of any diabetes-related problems developing inside the eye and, with the new glasses, I see much better. So for today's 365 Days I present you with my new specs!

Sexy huh? Pffft! Have a good one ya'll and thanks again! Laters.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 9:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

Just tucked into the cheesecake I made last night. (Banana Split -- bananas on bottom, layer of crushed pineapple and maraschino cherries in the middle) it is very good ... but not perfect. I think the next one I make like that, I will ditch the cherries. Their flavor is just too intense. I will also add toasted coconut flakes on top. So it isn't perfect but still? It's cheesecake and even the worst one I've ever had wasn't that bad. Happy Sunday!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 3:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I have been spending a lot of time lately cooking deserts. Today I made a mandarin orange cheesecake and some homemade peanut brittle. Here is the cheesecake I made.
The first thing you need to do is gather the ingredients and get your mixer ready.

Now you don't have to have a Kitchenaid mixer to do your cooking, but I think it's the best investment I've ever made for my kitchen and wouldn't give mine up for the world. A hand mixer works just fine or you could do it the real lo-tech way and mix the batter by hand. Ingredients include graham cracker crumbs, butter, flour, cream cheese, sour cream, 1 egg and vanilla extract.

Continue reading "It's cheesecake time!" »

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 7:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)