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July 18, 2007

HNT and another project ...

First off, I'm back and plan to stay that way for a while. Check out the proliferation of posts below if you haven't been here in a while.
Now ... I started the 365 project before I went on my extended hiatus and was really disappointed because I quit. I even put the camera down other than for work, but I feel the creative juices flowing and I'm ready to get back on the ball. I have decided to start over again and see if I can make it through this time. So that said, here is 1 of 365.

1 of 365 (by Duke of Pornia)

For the scoop on the poop about this thing we call HNT go see Os and tell him you're up. HHNT all!

January 17, 2007

HNT ... the recycled outtakes edition

It is a cold mother fucker out there tonight! As I type this, it is 36 degrees and has been raining, actually more like drizzling, ALL.FREAKING.DAY.LONG. It's been MISERABLE ... I love it! I really do love this weather. I know, maybe it's because I live in Louisiana and we so seldom get weather like this but who knows.
I don't remember if I have posted this before. I did just turn 45 after all. (Can the onset of Alzheimer's be that far off?) I have been taking a ton of pictures lately and frankly I'm too lazy to check my archives to see if I did. So if I did post it I apologize. I was cruising in the car the other day and had the camera and just started snapping off pics. I like the way this one turned out. Hope you do too. I just call it ... "Cruising":

In the Car (by Duke of Pornia)


On another note, I was talking to a friend of mine today and she asked why I didn't post the color version of the photo I used for 365 Days: Day 9. Why the black and white instead? I really don't know. I've been dinking around in Photoshop a lot lately. I've been working on black and white conversions and maybe it was because of that. I do know that sometimes, the next day, I look back at the pictures I chose and think to myself "That was not the best choice." Live and learn I guess but in any case. For you sugar, here is the color version of Day 9. Thanks for asking.

Day9 (by Duke of Pornia)


Happy HNT everybody. Wanna know why we do what we do every Thursday? Go see the man. I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you why and welcome you to the fold. The rest of you? Get to surfing and let's get nekkid! WOOT!

January 3, 2007

First HNT of 2007: The clean start edition ...

I apologize in advance. This post is gonna be all over the place as I am a bit scatterbrained today. It's the first HNT of the year for me. I've been playing since almost the beginning although I have taken the occasional week off. I have also been considering joining the 365 project. In case you don't know, the 365 project is where you take a picture a day of yourself for a whole year, hence the 365! It would certainly be a challenge coming up with 365 self portrait poses and angles, but I'm seriously considering it. I'll let you know.
Now to the HNT portion of tonight's program. I've always been told that the best way to start the New Year off is with a clean slate. Sounds fishy to me but I decided to give it a shot, so tonight I present me ... getting myself clean.

getting clean ...

Aaaaaaaaaah!


See if you make it black and white it's art, not porn. Which begs the question: If I post a nude and erotic picture, does that make me neurotic? But I digress ...
I have a confession to make. I'm actually not doing this for the new year. The truth is I may have a date Friday night and I'm just so damned excited I can't stand it. It's been ... what? More than two decades since I had one. Nothing fancy, just dinner and a movie but it's a step forward. I hope I still remember how to treat a lady! Can you tell I'm giddy as a school girl? Nervous as an alter boy at a priests convention? Sweating like Mike Tyson trying to read? Yeah, me too.
In other scintillating TommyNews, I had an eye appointment this week. For those who don't know (or care about this shit) I wear bifocals and have to get a stronger prescription. That plus the fact that my baby boy is about to join the Air Force, really brings home to me the fact that I am getting old.
You see, I know a little secret. A well known blogger that's very close to the Darkside (and the onset of Alzheimer's) has a birthday coming up. That's right friends and neighbors. Your humble (and yet? Totally witty, side-splittingly funny and damned good looking ... but most of all humble. No! Really!) correspondent turns 45 next Tuesday. Yay me! Pffft! C'est la vie. N'est pas?
For that reason, I have been doing a lot of drooling and pinching young chicks ass ... er, self reflection lately. I've come to the conclusion that while some wine mellows with age and gets more expensive, other wine comes in a box and turns to vinegar. What does that have to with the price of tea in Indo-China? Don't ask me! I'm old remember?
In any case, Happy HNT to you. If you want to, click through the pic. There is an uncropped version waiting on the other side. Don't worry, it's still fairly safe for work. There's also a rumor sweeping the internet that I'm "hanging out" on another corner of the web this week too. Look around why don't ya!
Wanna join in the fun we call Half Nekkid Thursday? Go see the king of all Nekkidness, the man we or at least I) call the Wizard of Os. Get the rules and get to snapping already! Now, lets get Nekkid huh?

December 27, 2006

Year end HNT: The "My favorite things" edition ...

So the word from Os is that we are supposed to post our favorite HNT of the year here today. That sent me on a search through the archives to try and find said favorite and, man ... the things I found. First off I realized just what a whiny, snively little bitch I've been over the past year. Jesus, I'm surprised I have ANY readers left. I mean there was some good shit there too, but a lot of "poor me" stuff that I had no business sharing. For that I apologize. I am resolved over the new year to be a better blogger and a better blogger buddy as well. Yeah, shaddup! I know you've heard it all before but this time I really mean it.
Another thing I found is that I have a lot of HNT's that I could call my favorites. For instance, there is this one from the 4th of July:

HNT 7-6

You wanna talk about real nekkidness? There was this one from June:
Christopher Thomas, June 19, 1986
June 19, 1986

This one was one of my first forays outside and is a real favorite of mine from November:

Good Morning!

Good Morning!


But I think, and I don't know why this is, my real favorite from the whole year is a tie. There was this one from November as well. I just liked the way it turned out. Again? I don't know why but I like it:

Happy HNT

HNT the Cowboy Up! version


and this one from my Tribute to Two Babes earlier this month:

Tommy looking overhead

Looking up!


So which of these is your favorite? Lemme know.
Just some administrative stuff here. If you want to be notified every time I post something new, enter your e-mail address in the box in the sidebar under the heading "Follow the Gunn." It's quick, painless and best of all it's free. All the cool kids are doing it, really!
If you wanna resolve to be a part of the fastest growing community on the web in 2007, go see Os the great and Terrible! He'll hook you up with the rules and get you started down the nekkid brick road. You won't regret the trip. If I don't talk to you before hand, (pffft! Like that's gonna happen!) Have a safe and happy New Year Ya'll. Here's to a great 2007. HHNT to you. Now lets get nekkid!

December 6, 2006

HNT ... ode to a couple of babes

Where has the year gone? Do you realize it's almost Christmas! I know ... makes me wanna throw up too. Couple of things here. You may notice that I have new digs. I spent a lot of time putting it together and trying to get it right but I understand that in some browsers on some platforms it is still a little wonky. I use Firefox and it looks fine there. It also looks 98% good on my IE7. I am going to continue working on it until I get the kinks worked out of it. So be patient with me. And if it's really fucked up, drop me a line and let me know. The address is in the sidebar over there.
Secondly ... I am a big loser. But I'm not alone. Susie and AndyT13 are big losers too. What? No, we're not depressed! Silly! We just lost a butt load of weight over the past several months. Geez! What were you thinking? In fact we decided to team up and do a 'Biggest Losers" HNT post. It's over at Susie's blog so go over and check it out. I think between the three of us, we've lost a whole person! Amazing isn't it? Ok maybe you don't think so but we're pretty excited about it so shaddup and get over there and check it out.
Finally, the HNT. I have been thinking about what to do lately. I have been participating since shortly after it started and sometimes? You just hit a creative block. I do admire other peoples creativity and beings how I'm in a plagiarizing mood, I decided to copy a couple of people's past HNT's. First up is the luscious Lime. A long time ago, she decided that she was going through a rebirth and did this HNT that just blew me away. It is still one of my favorites from her. Lime keeps it pretty PG over there so this is also the most risque I think she's ever done, but it was tasteful and very artistic ... everything mine isn't. So without further ado ... my homage to Lime ... my version of "Rebirth"

Tommy in fetal position

Fetal


Of course most of the time when you find me in this position it's because I am in the throes of depression, bleeding from the ears and that's the only thing I know to do. Lime? You inspire me. Thank you.
Next up is a Canadian hottie I really admire. She is beautiful and she's a hell of a photographer. I'm talking about Susan over at The Melody Censor. Susan is doing the 365 project. It's where you take a picture of yourself everyday for an entire year. She has really done some good work. And she just got a new camera package so she should have some really amazing stuff to show off soon. She also has the most amazing blue eyes you have ever seen. Anyway, I was looking at her Flickr account the other day catching up and saw this shot that took my breath away. She was laying down looking above her head directly into the camera. Apparently her blue eyes were so crisp and bright that it hurt to look at them so she made the photo sepia. Again, it doesn't even come close, but here is my tribute to Susan.

Tommy looking overhead

Looking up!


So there you have it ... my offering tonight. Now if you don't mind, tomorrows gonna be a bitch and I need to get to bed. Wanna know what it's all about? Go see Os, the great and terrible and he'll hook you up with the rules. Get nekkid and get happy! HHNT everybody. I'll see you Friday.

November 30, 2006

HNT and a contest ...

I know, I know. I have been a true slacker the past couple of days but I have a good excuse ... or at least it works for me and that's really all that matters. So phbtttttt. Seriously, if you will notice the calendar near the bottom of my sidebar ... go ahead and look, I'll wait.
Back? Good. All those red dates from Nov. 4? They are days I posted. I was doing my damndest to make it a full month posting something everyday. (Hence the lame "Me so horneee" post Tuesday. Sorry, he sheepishly says) but fell a couple of days short.
Now, not only was today layout day which is a bitch as a universal constant, (we didn't get done until about 6 p.m.) I was also trying to get a bunch of photos ready for the 2006 Army Photo Contest. Today was the deadline and well being the president, CEO, CFO, secretary, treasurer and janitor of Procrastination Inc., you KNOW I waited until the last possible second to get the shit together.
Did I mention today was the deadline? Yeah ... so in between layout and corrections and all the other shit that newspaper production entails, I'm busting a hump filling out entry forms, sizing and saving pictures, putting them on disc and coming up with a way to tell my boss I have to go turn them in. (ie: leave the office on the busiest day of the week.) The place closes at 4:30 p.m. and I walked in with my package about, oh 4:25? Yeah ... I'm the king ... or the Duke actually. Anyway, my point is I was busy but it's still Thursday and I can get something up. Here you go:

Filming Ollie

Look at the LEGS on that mother fucker!


This is me ... what? You don't see me? Behind the camera there ... the sexy mo-fo with the long blond hair .. yeah! That one ... that's me! God ... look at the gut sticking out from under that shirt! Bleh!
Anyway, at that time I was a news photographer for the NBC affiliate in Lake Charles, LA. Ollie North came to town to give a speech for some shit and hawk his latest book. I mean it was amazing ... Mr. Fucking Iran Contra ... right there! And the reporter I was there with? She just softballed his ass. I mean WTF? If you got someone like that there, fucking find out what the fuck he was thinking! I mean this dude fucked congress up the ass and lived to tell the tale! With Immunity! And if you're gonna get star struck? Reporter is probably not the line of work you wanna be in, unless you wanna report for Entertainment Tonight or some schlock like that.
Anyway, I know it's kinda lame but it's what I got. HHNT everybody. Go see Os. He has a buttload more people that have much sexier pics than this. And me? I'm gonna go get nekkid and surf some porn ... or make some. Wanna join me?

November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving HNT so Cowboy Up!

Today is Thanksgiving Day. Wanna know what I'm Thankful for? Read the post below this one. That's not all, but it's a good start.
I am also thankful that at the ripe old age of 40, I graduated college. I have the distinction of being the first member of my family ever to achieve that honor and it makes me proud to have done so. I started at McNeese State University in Lake Charles, LA in the fall of 1996. I was 34. Okay, so I was on the seven year plan but damn it, I did it and that's all that counts. I brought my G.P.A. up from a 0.76 to a 2.85 (that's a whole other post) by the time I walked the aisle. No mean feat if I do say so myself.
I always loved going to the football games and we had some pretty good teams through the years. I lived so close to the stadium that on those days we didn't go, I could sit on my porch drinking beer, listening to the game on the radio and hear the crowd noise and cannons blast every time the Cowboys scored. I can hear you asking yourself: "Okay Tommy, I get the thankful part, but what the hell does that have to do with HNT?" Sheesh! I'm getting to that. Patience Grasshoppers!
This year was a tough year for the Pokes. Tough as in extremely competitive but they cowboy'd up despite a controversial coaching shakeup a few games into the season. Last week the McNeese Cowboys were crowned the champions of the Southland Conference. This Saturday, the Cowboys travel to Montana to take on our favorite HNT daddy's favorite team. That's right, my McNeese Cowboys face off against Osbasso's Montana Griz in the first round of the playoffs. Now what's a brother to do? Show his colors of course. So I present ...

Happy HNT

HNT the Cowboy Up! version


Go Pokes and take it to the Griz! Oh and if you clicky, clicky, you might just get a surprise. Go ahead! It's SFW. Really!
I've also told you guys on various occasions that I was a bit of a freak. I used to have dyed blond hair down below my shoulders. During that period, I also was quite the piercing freak. Not a brave one, but I always believed quantity made up for not having the balls to pierce someplace like ... well, my balls for instance. I did have four ... in one ear ... and still do ... see?

earrings

How's this for a "two fer?" The boy got holes in his head!


I would have gotten another in the same ear but mom dad and the spousal unit convinced me that four was probably enough. Why did I listen to them? I have no answer. God I am such a rebel!
So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. HHNT and Happy Thanksgiving all. Hope yours is as great as mine will be ... I hope. Wanna get in on the fun? Go see a real winner (even though he's gonna be on the losing side of this football pick. I **gulp** hope.) and lets get Nekkid and give thanks ya'll! Oh yeah, I'm also thankful for boobies ... and asses ... and women in general. Just sayin.

November 15, 2006

HNT ... the piggish calf edition

First off, let me brag a little bit. I look at the calendar on my sidebar and notice that I have posted every day since Nov. 4. I am proud of myself. So there. If you want to be notified on a daily basis when I post some new bit of universe-explaining, enlightening or frightfully funny pearls of wisdom, put your e-mail in the box in the sidebar (the one in the box titled "Follow the Gunn") and as if by magic, you will know the minute the magic leaves my fingertips.
Now for HNT. I have a pretty poor self image when it comes to my body. I never really liked it. I thought I was fat (I was) and just generally unattractive. I started weight lifting when I was about 12 years old and laid a foundation for a pretty good body, but laziness took hold and I never really finished up. One thing I have liked about my body (one of the only things) are my legs. I do a lot of walking and, as a news photographer, most of the time I was carrying about 70 pounds worth of shit when I did. I love my calves...

My calves

I Like 'Em!


I also love my thighs and my forearms. Unfortunately, the pictures of them turned out like shit so this is what you get. HHNT everybody.

***
***
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What? You want more? Damn! Well don't say I never go out of my way to please you people. OK. The only thing I ever wanted to be in life was a singer or an actor. I sing well (or used to) and really loved acting. I went out for a bunch of plays throughout my life and in about 75% of them, I got the lead. Unfortunately, I let my parents convince me that acting and singing were worthless pursuits. "Get a real job," they told me and "Work on that in your spare time." I listened and put away my dreams but the other day I was going through some pics and found this ...

Wilbur, Templeton and Charlotte

"Charlottes Web" staring Tommy Gunn as Wilbur


Yeah, I'm the guy in pink with the cute hat. This was the first play I ever went out for and the picture was taken during full dress rehearsal (even though the set wasn't completed yet.) As an aside, this was in Alaska and the girl that played Charlotte won the Miss Teen America pagent that year. She was fucking HOT. Leslie Griffiths, 1976-77. Hummina! See? I've always been a pig! Now go check out the other people's nekkidness. I'm sure they are much prettier than I am. Wanna play? Go see Os, the great and terrible (but I hear he really isn't that terrible once you get to know him) and you might find a different side of the pig here. HHNT everybody and have a great Thursday!

November 8, 2006

Last minute busting my ass ...

This is last minute but I just had to play. Procrastination has come around and bit me on the ass (again.) I have two stories due to lay out in the paper Thursday and only one and a half are done.

I was at work from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m. today and brought my work home. I busted my ass at work and now I'm busting my ass at home at almost midnight. Do you detect a pattern her? Yeah busting my ass when I'd rather be ...

My arse in bed

... laying on it. (Click through for mo betta. Warning! NSFW! Like this one is! Pffft) Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work so I can eventually get my ass in bed. I gotta be at work at 6:30 a.m. I'll catch all of ya'll's tomorrow. HHNT! Go see Os to find out what it's all about. Laters!

November 1, 2006

It's Wednesday night Ya'll ...

It's been a pretty good week so far this week. I have been blogging a lot more. Since I started with Bloglines, I have been more efficient at keeping up with ya'll. I like it and I appreciate the reciprocation. This has actually allowed me to add to my blogroll and I am now able to read more blogs than ever before. Of course I'm falling behind at work but ... you know ... priorities and all that.
On to the important stuff. It's time for HNT and we've had some great weather lately. It was awesome enough that I was able to spend sometime outdoors this past week. These are NSFW so you'll have to go below the fold to see them. I have titled this week's first installment of HNT ...

Continue reading "It's Wednesday night Ya'll ..." »

October 25, 2006

HNT: The Poker Face Edition ...

So I was commenting back and forth the other day with my good friend Felicity and one of us used a poker term. Well we talked a little and decided to play a little strip poker for HNT tonight. Here's my best poker face.

Poker Face

You know what Kenny Rogers says: "You gotta know when to hold them and know when to fold them." Wanna see what the champ is holding? Click around and see what you can find. Who knows, I may even "raise" you. I know I'll call at least. Oh and check out Felicity and see what she's holding. Wanna deal yourself in? Go see the banker and get you a hand full of chips. It's anybody's game ... winner takes all. That can't be a bad thing can it? HHNT everybody and Happy Halloween!

October 18, 2006

It's raining again and HNT

Ok. So we had 12 inches of rain Monday. Everything flooded including my parents house. Mom said they had an inch of water covering the floor. Dad spent all day ripping up carpet and tossing the ruined shit that was stored in the bottom of the closet. There is a creek that runs behind their house and 15 years ago it used to flood when it sprinkled. They did some work downstream, straightening out the creek bed and dredging it a bit and that solved the problem ... until Monday. I told mom not to be spending my inheritance before I had a chance to lay hands on it. I don't think she was impressed.
Yesterday was picture perfect. Not a cloud in the sky and in the 80's. It was beautiful ... except this is fucking OCTOBER! Isn't it supposed to be getting cooler? Sometimes I hate living in the south ... not really but you get my drift.
Today was cloudy and the rain started again in the afternoon. They don't expect it to be as bad as Monday but the ground is saturated and there is nowhere for the new shit to go. We will see how that pans out. Cross your fingers for me, 'kay? One good side effect though ... temp tonight and all day tomorrow will not get out of the sixties (or so they say. Pfffft! I'll believe it when I feel it.)
Now the HNT. I was taking pictures of the yard and the rain the other day. I don't know how this ended up in my camera becasue I didn't take it but I thought it was a pretty cool pic anyway. Check it out.

Rainy Knee

Don't have a clue do ya? It's my knee in the rain! Really I have no idea how it got taken either. Oh well ... it qualifies. So where's your nekkidness? wanna get in on the fun and games? Go see the King of HNT and tell him you wanna play. Let's get nekkid ya'll! WOO-HOO! HHNT!

October 11, 2006

HNT time again. Yay!

What to say, what to say? I sit here and the blank page stares back at me, mocking me, teasing me, taunting me. How many times have we all sat here staring at a blank screen wondering what the hell we're gonna write about today?



Gratuitous Shot
"Blowin' in the Wind"


Continue reading "HNT time again. Yay!" »

October 4, 2006

HNT ... the self reflection edition

I decided to play right at the last minute. I had a couple of articles to write tongight for tomorrows paper. Yeah, I don't know nuttin about procrastination do I? There's been a lot going on in my life lately ... the divorce, some other love issues, finding out I'm a co-dependent kinda guy and showing a little obsessive behavior toward a friend. So I went to Doctor Feelgood to see if maybe there was something wrong or whether it was all in my head. She seemed to think there was at least depression and possibly more. After making sure I hadn't had any thoughts about hurting myself (no worries there, I'm really to big a pussy, plus I couldn't even THINK about doing that to my kids. I may be crazy but i ain't selfish or unfeeling) she put me on Wellbutrin and gave me a referral to a psychiatrist. The first appointment available was November 20. Right before the holidays. I should really need it by then! In betwen now and then there is gonna be a lot of introspective self-examination. To illustrate that and for tonight's HNT offering, I give you Tommy by candlelight ...

Tommy by Candlelight

In other good news, I weighed 188 pounds. That's only 3 pounds above my fighting weight when I got out of Army basic training. I figure 3 more pounds and I'll be happy. I am 5' 11" and that should be a pretty good weight for me to hold ... maybe. The next step is getting back into the gym and working on getting some of that extra skin tightened up and building some curves to break up the "Olive Oyl" body style. It's funny. I have lost 44 pounds and my wife says I still look fat. What do you think?

Fat or Not? You tell me.

So there you have it. My HNT offering. Well? What are you waiting for? Go see the Wizard of Os and get nekkid yourself! It's really liberating! HHNT all. Now I'm off to bed.

September 27, 2006

HNT .... the "check out my ass" edition

So I've lost 41 pounds so far and I feel pretty good. I have done this solely by watching what I eat ... or don't eat as the case may be. I haven't gotten back in the gym yet but I am starting soon. I'm sure there will be more pics coming as the ass gets tighter and the six pacs (the good kind this time) start to appear. I'm gonna do this ya'll. On a personal note, there was something that was taking up a lot of my time for the past couple of months. That is no longer a problem. I have really been obsessed lately. Honestly? I know I am co-dependent (emotionally) and may be bi-polar I don't know. I am going to talk to my Doctor about it the next time I see him. Maybe it's just shit from the divorce but I need to talk to someone.
Second, Boobiethon 2006 starts Sunday. It's a great cause and you getta see boobs without worrying about sitting through a chick-flick, dinner and hours of inane conversation. Everybody wins ... especially the fight against breast cancer. So donate and hell, you might even think about submitting a pic. Guys? You're eligible too!
Next, if you want to know whenever pearls of wisdom drip from my lips (or keyboard in this case) put your e-mail in the box on the sidebar and an e-mail will be delivered whenever they do ... drip that is.
I know you've heard it before, but this time? Really? I am gonna be around a lot more. I have a lot of time to fill and kill these days and I need to get on with things (like my life.) So holla! I'll be here. HNT is below the fold. Lets just say I'm half the man I used to be (but not there ... that's still all me and I have the pics to prove it) so click and enjoy the new me. God, I HATE my fucking body and can't really believe I'm doing this! Told you I was nucking futz. HHNT ya'll.

Continue reading "HNT .... the "check out my ass" edition" »

September 20, 2006

HNT time again already? Damn ...

I haven't had a lot for ya'll this past couple of weeks. I don't know. Maybe it's the phase of the moon or something but my creative urge has just seemed to go up in smoke lately. I don't have the drive to do anything these days it seems. I think the only way to get over it is to make like the old Nike commercial and "Just do it!" So I am.
I applied for a new job in a different state recently. It would be a promotion and it would get me out of hicksville U.S.A. and put me in a much better place. I hope I haven't just jinxed it by telling you about it but if I did I might as well totally screw the pooch by asking you to send good thoughts my way for it.
I just went over my third month of sobriety and am feeling fine. I still get the urge to go grab a six pack when stress rears it's ugly head but not so much as before and I haven't given in to the urge yet. More good thoughts please. thankyouverymuch.
Some of you replied about my Friday post and were a little worried about me it seems. You know about my family situation. Well, it's pretty good most of the time. She works nights and I work days. We see each other maybe for about 30 minutes per day (split between morning and night) during the week. It's just when the weekend comes that things get a little hairy. Now don't get me wrong ... there is not a lot of yelling, screaming and fighting going on but most of the time you could cut the tension with a knife. I want to leave and take myself out of the equation but I don't want to feel like I am just abandoning the kids . I know. It doesn't make a bit of fucking sense to me either, but it's what I feel. I will be moving out as soon as I can save the cash to pay the deposits and other shit but until that time comes, I'll have to learn to deal with the situation. I'm trying. It's just that after 21 years? Old habits die hard, ya know?
Now for the HNT ...

cuppajoe

I present a pair of mugs. One is my own lousy excuse for a face (note to self: SHAVE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE ALREADY!) The other? The one with the butterfly? That's the mug I got here. It's just one of the items Beth is offering for sale. She has a good reason for doing it too. There's lots of neat shit there and she has some beautiful photography to put on it. And the best part? Profits are going to benefit the Lupus Foundation of America. If you are able, I'm sure she will appreciate your support. I guess that's about it for now. I do have a great post about jerkey making coming up so stay tuned and if you want to be notified when I DO post, put your e-mail addy in the box on the sidebar. Simple and effective. Happy HNT Ya'll and lets be careful out there. Okay?

August 30, 2006

HNT: Beauty and the Beast edition

Wow! Is it Thursday already? (Okay, technically it's Wednesday night but work with me here ... suspension of disbelief, remember?) First off, several of you commented on the picture hanging on the office wall in my last HNT. Here is a better shot of it.

Medic comforts shell shocked troop

This is one of the most powerful images I have ever seen in my life. We all think of Soldiers as rough, tough guys ready to lay down their lives for us in the pursuit of freedom. The juxtaposition of this big, burly, scruffy, battleworn medic tenderly and compassionately holding another Soldier in his arms as he cries just speaks to a part of me that I don't have the words to tell you about. The truth is that even the Marines in their sharp uniforms in the recruiting commercials, sold as the manliest of men, the cream of the crop, are human. They bleed and sometimes their minds are shattered.
Soldiers are not superhuman and sometimes the horrors of war are too much to handle alone. The other thing it illustrates is the cameradrie that exists between men with a common bond. A battle buddy is always there to help one pick up the pieces. These two men in civilian life, hell, in peacetime service for that matter, may have despised each other but in this here and now, they are together, sharing a pain that many of us will never know. The frailty of the one and the compassion of the other wrench my heart everytime I look at it. It's a poor copy of a painting I picked up on the cheap in Korea but in this case the subject matter moves me and that matters more to me than the technique or artist's skill .
Now on to the HNT and it's UGLY I warn you in advance. Meet "The Beast" ...
Uglyest toes in Louisiana

This is my foot. I have two. the other one looks much like this one. They are ugly and I hate them. I inherited my mother's feet when I was born. Hers are ugly too but at least she has all her toenails left and they look pretty good after a pedi with polish. I don't get pedi's with polish and did I mention? I have ugly feet. I have a total of seven (toenails that is) between the two feet. I hate them but am facing my inner self, coming to grips with my flaws and what's the easiest way to do that? Put them on the internet of course! Well that and wear flip flops so they are visible to all. Did I mention they are ugly and I hate them? Cuz they are and I do!
Now that I have totally grossed you out and embarrassed myself, I give you "The Beauty" ...
Beauty shot

Michelle is a great chicka. I work with her and love her to death (as a coworker ya'll. Get your minds out of the gutter. Besides her husband (who is currently deployed to the Middle East) would kick my substantial ass) We share chocolate, gossip, a love of blogging and microwave popcorn together. I have been bugging her to do a guest HNT post on my blog for ... well, forever! She recently got a pedi and took a pic for me. so to wipe the horror of the beast out of your minds, I give you Michelle's cute little tootsies!
Everything else is starting to level out for me. Class is over. I have to take my final and I'm done so I should be a better blogger buddy shortly. I am taking a road trip to see a very good friend of mine and a fellow blogger this weekend. And finally, I've been sober for 66 days without slipping or even having the urge. YAY ME! This is me chilling on the front porch.
Hanging on the porch

Yeah I know I started smoking again. BOO ME! But I plan to quit again once I get a little more sobriety under my belt. HHNT to all and I hope your lives are looking up as much as mine is. I love you and miss you all. Wanna get in on the fun? Go see Os. He'll clue you in. Laters ya'll! **MUWAH**

August 24, 2006

HNT: The blooming idiot edition ...

I am a complete idiot. Don't say anything ... just agree. Thanks and HHNT everyone.

killer2

August 2, 2006

HNT ... the bad blogger buddy edition

Ok. I know. I don't blog as much and I don't get around to your blogs as much either. I try to hit a few now and again but I just don't get there as often as I used to. Or maybe I get there but just don't have time to comment. Hell, I used to IM with about a half dozen or so people throughout the day, every day and into the night, and that has almost come to a halt as well. I hate that in a way cuz I really do love ya'll. I'm not being stuck up or anything. I hear ya. "So what happened Tommy?" you ask shout demand! "What's the deal? Tell us!" Ok, I will, but remember you asked!
Y'see, I'm taking a class. It's an introduction to PHP and MySQL (web design stuff if you don't know) and it's taking up more time than I expected. I am also taking (or half taking) a government course. Kinda auditing it. On top of all that, I'm also acting as a study-buddy for a girlfriend of mine taking an American History class. I can't believe I am saying this but I am back in school and I am LOVING IT!
As if that weren't enough, things at work are a bit crazy too. Funny, but they expect me to write shit for publication since they are paying me and all. I know! I don't understand it either. Maybe one of you business people could explain it to me one day. Seriously, it's a busy time for me. I'm sorry. I know it's no excuse but I don't see it changing anytime in the near future. You see next up for me is a four-class block on web design proper (HTML and other shit) that starts in September. It's something I've always wanted to do and by God, now that I'm not drunk all the time, I have time to do it (and the desire too. Go fucking figure!)
On the personal front, the divorce is still going forward. I should be moving out and starting the seperation process very soon. It sucks but there's nothing to be done about it now. And that pain I was going through before? The shit that ripped my heart out and ate at my guts day and night? Gone. Everything is soooooo good on that front it's scary. In fact, it's never been better. If it gets any better, I just might blow a gasket or explode ala Mr. Creosote in Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life!!! (One of the greatest movies ever made in this authors's humble opinion) No shit! To tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever been happier!
Thanks to all who care or cared enough to still come by and drop me a line. It means a lot to me. I am going to try and do the blogger bombardment thing on the weekends so I'll at least check in, catch up and leave you a line once or twice a week. And there's always HNT! Speaking of which, no matter how busy I get ...

Eye2
I always have my eye on you

And if you got nice boobs, maybe even two eyes! So I guess we'll see you around the bend now and again. I do love you all. Seriously! Wanna get in on the fun? Go see the Wonderful Wizard of Os. He's the one who hands out the brains, hearts, and courage after all. HHNT everybody. Now lets get Nekkid!
p.s.: If you want to know when I post without making the effort to come by? Put your e-mail address in the box at the top of the sidebar and I'll do all the work for you. Yeah, I'm a great guy that way ... trust me, she did! (course she ended up knocked up soooooo ...)

July 12, 2006

HNT ... Bombs, Bombed and a star!

So today I am feeling really fucking good. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I don't know what it is but why fuck with happiness. I'm just gonna roll with the flow. Soooooo you guys get a triumverate of HNT pics from ne tonight. First off is a pic from Champagne, Illinois. It was 1986, wintertime and I was stationed at Chanute Air Force Base in Rantoul learning how to be a mechanic.

O'Malley's in Champagne, IL

This is a very drunk Tommy with his best friend in the whole world, Mark ... er, something-or-the-other. But that's not important now. What is important is that shirt I'm wearing. (I'm the clean shaven one in case you didn't know.) O'Malley's had a wall ... four of them in fact , and a roof too... but this one particular wall had thirteen drinks painted on it. If you could drink all the drinks on the wall and still walk, you got a free T-shirt. Friends and neighbors, there is another shirt just like that one underneath the one that's showing and yes, I walked out under my own power. Shit! Just look at that table! Good thing I wasn't driving that night. And it's a wonder I ain't dead today.
Fast forward a few years to a time when Saddam Hussein was still in power but had just gotten his ass swept out of Kuwait.

F117 & Me

Look at that beauty. Sleek, tough as nails. A true warrior ready to reign down terror on anyone who might threaten America's freedom. God what a hunk! Oh and that's an F-117 stealth fighter behind the killing machine too. This was taken on the flightline at Dharahn, Saudi Arabia during the first Gulf War. Jesus has that been 13 years ago? I'm old ... but proud to have served.

And finally, Just a few years ago doing what I love best in the world ... talking and making people listen to me!

RadioTom

Tom Allen rockin' the night (in a country kinda way) at KYKZ-FM 96.1, Lake Charles, LA! So there you have it. Tommy through the rocking (and drunken) years. Hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane with me. HHNT ya'll. Get in on the act. Go see the Wizard of Os and tell him you're up. Oh and if you wanna know whenever I post ... I deliver! All you have to do is put your e-mail in the box in the sidebar and ... poof ... magic! Trust me, it's great. Yeah, I'm a whore ... get over it, shut up and sign up. Laters

July 5, 2006

Is it HNT time again?

Wow how the week flies by when you are only at work for two days. It's HNT time again and the wonderful Wizard of Os has declared another theme week so here you go and Happy 4th of July all.

HNT 7-6

Yeah I know it's recycled ... my gut isn't that big anymore. At least I took the freakin time to overlay a flag on it! Gimme a break! HHNT to you and if you want to get in on the fun here's where you need to go get the rules. Let's get Half-Nekkid everyone!

June 28, 2006

The winds of change ...

I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past couple of weeks. A very good friend and a very smart woman talked to me about my life today like no one else ever has and she made a lot of sense. I admire her and respect her so much ya'll. She is smart, independent and probably the strongest woman I know. It's not easy telling a friend how fucked up he is and it's even harder to do it compassionately and honestly. But that's the kind of woman she is, thank the Goddess.
Midnight tonight starts my third day of sobriety. Big fucking deal you say? Well fuck you! It is for me and it's something I have to do. Can you tell I'm a little on edge? I'm still a little shaky but one day at a time, a little group therapy and I can make it work. I just have to continue to want to as bad as I do now.
There are other changes coming too. I have decided (or rather agreed with her honest assessment of me, the bitch (just kidding hon)) that I am not someone I would be proud to know. I have not been a very good friend to her either. Truthfully? I'm surprised she is still hanging around. I doubt I would have had her patience with me. And therin lies the rub. I have run out of patience with myself. I am not deserving of her continued friendship but ask her to hang in for just a while longer. Actions, she says, not words, but actions, is the way to get it done. That scares the fuck out of me ya'll cuz I have been long on words and feelings and short on actions most of my life.
I am in uncharted water and really need that quiet time I talked about below to hear what my inner voice tells me I need to do. But I am going to do it if it kills me. I'll let you know more as the days progress. I just want to publicly thank her for not putting up with my shit and for being there for me everytime I've needed her. Thanks doll. I'm working on it. One day at a time ... one day at a time.

Oh yeah .... and Happy HNT

DSC008421

June 7, 2006

HNT # I lost count ... but who cares

Christopher Thomas ... you are always in my heart. I miss you terribly. I would really like to know what kind of man you would be today. We are OK for the most part. Taking it one day at a time. Send us some love now and again and I'll see you on your birthday. I love you.

Christopher Thomas, June 19, 1986

June 19, 1986

In other news, I have totally screwed the pooch tonight. I have flushed a relationship that meant the world to me right down the toilet. I really effed this one up. Honey, I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day and give me another chance. Friends, I don't want you to feel sorry for me or offer condolences because I don't deserve them. I did this to myself and a man has to face what he has done and take the consequences. It just hurts so much all over right now, that I think I need to step away, far away. I don't know if I will be back or not. I just need some time. I love all of you and thank you for the good times. Tommy ... out!

May 31, 2006

HNT # Something or other ... the Korea Edition

It's HNT everybody and "How YOU doin?" I'm OK. Still haven't found the solution to my e-mail problem but I will. It's a guarantee. First off, if you haven't added yourself to my notification list yet, just plug your e-mail address into the box on my sidebar and you will be notified everytime a new post goes up. It don't cost and it don't hurt so just do it ... you know you want to! Be counted among the coolest of cool people. Now down to business ...
Today's HNT is a foreign edition. If you are just here for the pic, scroll down ... you'll find it. Wanna hear a tale, though? Then pull up a chair and crack open a beer and let me take you on a journey to a land far, far away at a time in the past, not too distant to have been forgotten.
Two weeks after my youngest son was born (the same son who is currently two weeks away from turning 16 and right on his scheduled developmental path of seeing how quickly he can put his parents in the loony bin or detox ... whatever comes first) I was on a plane to Korea for a one year remote tour with the U.S. Air Force. Prior to that, I had spent two years in California stationed at Edwards Air Force Base. It was a great assignment but after two years it was time to move on. I volunteered to go to Korea and was actually surprised when I got it. We were not really that independently wealthy and so there was no way I was going to be able to come home on vacation during the tour. I knew that but it was OK because even though I was married and had two kids by then, I was really ok with being alone. I've always had that liitle bit in me that actually preferred that anyway, so I was good.
I have always been a big guy ... I was up to 250 at one point in my life and hated it. I was a heavy diesel mechanic in the Air Force. I worked on 5,000 gallon fuel trucks that brought the jet fuel out to the planes. I will say I never was a particularly good mechanic and never enjoyed it as much as I could or probably should have. It was hard work but I did the best I could. I arrived at Osan Air Force Base, Korea, Iand started out in my regular shop. But because of my knack with paperwork and ability to efficiently run a minor maintenance and tire shop, I was soon moved over and put in charge of that section. It was also the section that took in all the vehicles with problems, diagnosed them, farmed them out to the proper shop and then did a quality assurance check before they left.
The best part about being there was the Airmen I worked with. I ran a pretty tight shop and everyone knew that while on duty, you were expected to give 110 percent but once we were off, they knew I would be waiting at the bar, ready to buy the first round for the guys. We were tight and I loved that!
The tire shop was a busy one. We did everything from regular car tires to tires that were taller by half than any of us were. In the summer, I had to wear a uniform to work and keep one at the office to change into. We busted our asses and sweated like pigs. When I got to Korea, I weighed about 220 (it was one of my light periods) but after a year in country, I had dropped about 35 to 40 pounds. This is me near the end, lying in my bunk in the dorms.

Korea HNT

Dayumn Martha! Look at how flat that boy's STOMACH is!

God I was a stud! and still am by Crackey!

Tonight's gratuitous shot comes with a story too. Every year, each unit at Osan picks an orphanage to adopt around the holidays. We bought gifts for all the children, snacks, cake ice cream, balloons, the freaking works man. We partied hard, we worked hard and we gave back hard. I was proud of my guys! Different cultures have different beliefs and and I'm down with that ... most of the time. Korea has tons with orphanages filled with kids that no one wants, much like America except it's because of those fucked up beliefs and I don't get that. These two girls are a perfect example of that.

Adoptiongirls

The two girls in red were first-born twins. In the Korean culture it is imperative to have a son first. To have a daughter is bad luck. These two girls must have brought the black plague. You see, their mother stuffed their right hands in boiling water and held them there until they were just melted nubs. You can't really see it in the pic but believe me, I held those hands in mine and wept. She then threw them out like so much garbage. I'm sorry ... I'm tearing up as we speak. They were the sweetest, happiest, most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my life and it still breaks my heart that I couldn't adopt them and bring them back to the states. I fell in love with them that day and regret my inability to act on my wishes. I hope and pray that wherever they are today, they are happy and loved. And that's my story. If you hung in this far, thank you. If you want to know why we get Nekkid, go see the Wizard of Os and find out. HHNT everybody. Now pass me a freaking handkerchief and lets talk about life's regrets.

May 17, 2006

HNT #28 The Anniversary Edition ...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO HNT! YEE-HAW Y'ALL! Before we get to the "meat" of the issue, just a note. My ferverent prayer below alludes to the fact that should I die in the middle of the night or unexpectedly, there are things on my hard drive that I wouldn't want my mom or dad or anyone else to see. Kinda like wearing clean underwear in case of accidents.
Now that that's cleared up on with the celebration.
Here as requested is my first HNT. I remember telling you all I had me eyes on you. I am proud to say that my eye (both of them) have been popped out of my head many times since then. Ladies (and you know who you are) thank you for that.

The day I lost my virginity ... yeah, right!

Here is my Happy Anniversary to Os and the rest of you. Lets get Nekkid Ya'll!
HNT #28

What's all the fuss about? Go see Os ... he'll tell you

May 10, 2006

HNT # 27 ... The Mad Organizational Skills Edition

What is it with my luck? I think the Gods have a vendetta against me or something. You know I'm on vacation and I have spent the past few days cleaning and organizing my garage. Mission accomplished! Here is the proof:

You know, if I put a tarp and some jello down ...
A Twister mat and Jello ladies? Anyone?

On the down side, blogger was an ass this week and so I was locked out for a while. Well, that finally got straightened out (about three hours ago) so I can blog again. YAY ME! I have decided to switch from Blogger to Moveable Type as a publisher and that will entail some changes to the Darkside. I am cool with that and hope you are too. One thing that will not change is the rapier sharp writing and that sharp sense of humor you have come to know and love.
So the garage is done but I started feeling a little stuffy this past weekend. That stuffyness has since blown up into a full blown chest cold! I mean WTF? Did I step on a crack and break my momma's back? Did I rip off my freaking mattress tags? Did I throw away a recycleable bottle or something? I don't know!
There is a song by Van Zandt that says "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." God must have overheard when I was talking to one of you and thought I was addressing Him. "Hee Haw" used to feature a skit that said "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me!" I know what you mean fellas! But enough bitching. On with the HNT.
Tonight's HNT starts with a trip in the wayback machine. Hands inside the car and fasten your seatbelts folks ...

**Cue wavy video and wayback music**

Me and Greg circa 1977-78
Me and Greg ... circa 1978

I spent my first three high school years in Anchorage, Alaska. The guy you see standing beside me (I am on the left ... yes that's my real effin hair! It was the 70's, so suck me already?) was my best friend, Greg. I am ashamed to say I don't remember his last name. We did a ton of shit together ... some of it actually legal ... some of it. The best times I remember were skiing down the five-mile trail with him , blowing a doobie as we watched the sun go down over Cook Inlet while waiting for the bus to take us back to the top. They were magical times and I miss them dearly. But hey, at least I have the memories (and a better haircut!) Damn, look at how small my ass was back then! Those were the days, baby.

Me circa 1982
Me and Dinky ... circa 1982

I guess I should have titled this "The best friends edition" because that's what this is turning into. This dog was more my baby than my friend. Her name was Dinky. A little background ... you see, I have never been able to really get close to people in my life. I have a lot of acquaintances but very few real friend. Those I do consider real friends know I would lay my life down for them ... seriously, like taking a bullet while tackling a mugger, shoving them out from in front of a speeding truck or throwing myself on top of a grenade for them. I just don't have that many people I feel that way about.
I lived in the country when this picture was taken. I ran over a puppy one day. A very small puppy that had no business being in the road unattended so far from the house. I got Dinky to replace that puppy but was convinced that I should just keep her instead. "What if that other dog was a purebred? Would a mutt replace that?" I was asked. I kept her. I trained her, slept with her (get your effin minds out of the gutter. I'm kinky but bestiality? No effin thanks!), took her to the vet, fishing, swimming and anywhere else I went. She was trained not to leave the yard even though it had no fence and she never, ever did. We could open the door and let her out with no worries.
I remember giving her the backbone from the first deer I killed and following her around my bedroom later that night cleaning up the diahrea it gave her. I woke up early one morning to the sounds of her in pain and spent the rest of the night following her around as she gave birth to a litter of pups.
She was my life and it tore me up when I joined the Air Force and had to leave her behind for Germany. While I was gone, my sister got in a pissing contest with one of her friends. I later found out my parents had let Dinky out for her final "constitutional" of the evening. It was at that opportune time that the former friend was driving by, saw her in the yard and ran off the road, into my fucking yard, and ran her down. She didn't die but was beyond medical help. My dad, tears in his eyes, gathered her up and relieved her of her suffering the way we do that it in the country. I will never have a dog that means as much to me nor would I want one. Dinky, I love you babe. RIP.
Sorry to get so maudlin folks but I just found the picture today and it ripped my heart out of my chest thinking about it. HHNT to you all. Next post will be more uplifting, I promise.
Go see Os to get the whole HNT story. Lets get Nekkid, Ya'll