**

Happy Good Friday ...

2008-03-22T03:21:10Z

Fear and Bones

Hell's fire flashes as demons laugh. Dark, viscous venom cutting rivers in their chins. Nails flaying skin, shredding, wailing into the night. The demon taunts me, "God is calling!"

Hell's nightmare follows me, toying, teasing. Insanity closes with every tick of times passage. Ha! Glowing embers, eyes I'm sure, searching, hunting from the inky black of Gethsemane's garden.

Hell's demons sniff and snarl, measuring fear. The stench of decaying flesh surrounds me. Shrieking into the dark I run, "God, save me from this!" It's mine. The death stench permeates my very soul.

Mortal fear feeds Satan's addiction. When fear fades, bones crunch and Satan smiles. Snapping blades shred sinew, slice muscle, "Why hast thou forsaken me?" My blood heavy on his belly, sated, his eyelids droop.

The demon slumbers. And I? I rise to save the world.

I am IRONMAN ...

2008-03-01T03:52:39Z

... and I can't fucking wait for this movie! May 2, 2008. Yeah, it's on my calendar. By the way, Happy Leap Day and congratulations to Sandi and David ... they're having TWINS! w00t! Have a good weekend, ya'll.

It's Mesothelioma ...

2008-02-23T03:00:47Z

The mesothelium is the lining in the abdomen that surrounds the lungs and organs. It secretes small amounts of fluid that allow the lungs to expand and organs to move smoothly against each other. The cancer in these cells causes the cells to go crazy and divide uncontrollably. This also causes the cells to secrete more fluid into the abdomen than normal. So far, they have taken two gallons out of him and he is full again.

There are only about 2,000 cases diagnosed in the U.S. every year, so they know less about this kind than they know about ... say, lung cancer. They do know that it is mainly caused by previous exposure to asbestos. Dad has been a mechanic since he was a boy. Brake pads and clutches in cars used to be made of or contain asbestos. He also lived in a house that had asbestos throughout it (according to mom.)
They say that the earlier it is caught, the better chance of survival the patient has but he has been full of fluid since before Thanksgiving. Is that considered caught in time? I don't fucking know.

There are four stages of Mesothelioma. He is either in the first or second. We're hoping (praying) he's in the first.

He goes back next week to have the chemo port put into his chest, then the week after will start the chemo treatments. They are really worried about his weight loss as he has lost almost 45 pounds in the past couple of months. Shit, he lost eight since last week when he had his gall bladder out. The doctor wants him to eat about six meals a day and none of that sissy Weight Watchers shit either ... red meat, starches, carbs ... whatever will put weight back on him. He'll need it to fight the fight that he's in for. I guess we'll see and know more next week.

Step one is finished ...

2008-02-22T00:00:07Z

In other words, the new header is up. I'd like your opinion on it. Thanks!

It is with Heavy Heart ...

2008-02-19T00:47:02Z

that I announce the death of Grim the Rat.

Grim was a good and faithful servant who lived a life of relative ease. He was loved by one and all in the Gunn family. Well, except for Mommy Gunn. Did I mention he's a RAT? Yeah, she noticed that little fact, too, Sherlock Holmes that she is ...

He developed a huge tumor-looking thing on his jaw recently which signaled the beginning of the end. Eventually, the tumor-looking thing went away and it looked like he was going to be okay. He got his pep back and was more like the Grim of old in his latter days. I guess we could have taken him to the vet and seen if anything could have been done to prolong his life ... but did I mention? He's a fucking RAT!

Grim grew lethargic today and family gathered around, knowing the end was near ... but then Mythbusters came on and I had to go to the store, plus Ryan and Josh were playing World of Warcraft so Grim was on his own.

When I got back, we noticed that Grim had passed into that good night. So a funeral was held ... okay we dumped him in the bags I just got from the store and threw him in the trash can. Did I mention? He's a fucking RAT!

Rest in peace Grim. You will be missed ... until we can get to the pet store and replace you with a hedgehog. Of course, that may take a while beings how the transmission in my second car just blew up today. $1400-$1600 to fix. I mean Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot! But that's another post, this one is dedicated to the memory of Grim.

Godspeed, Big Guy!

Hmmmm. Wonder if I could take him to a fast food joint and order some ... nah, it'd never work. *sigh*

The electricity went out last night ...

2008-02-17T22:32:47Z

... which gave me a chance to do something I have been meaning to do for a while. I told you a while ago that I am working on a new template. I want to redo my header also and last night I got the means, motive and opportunity to take some pictures. I think this is the one I am going to use for the header. Obviously, I have some photoshop work to do, but I think this is a good start:

What's your opinion?

Short and not-so-sweet ...

2008-02-15T21:17:56Z

Just talked to dad. They are on the way back from Shreveport where he had his gall bladder removed today. The surgery went well. He's a bit weak and doesn't feel like talking much. We know what was causing the fluid buildup now ... during the operation, they found cancer on his abdominal wall. I have no idea how bad that is or can be. He has an appointment with the oncologist soon. I guess we'll know more then.

*Update* Just talked to mom. The doc wants dad to start chemo immediately. She is a wreck, but holding it together through her faith in God. Dad is in good spirits. He joked about the three kids getting on a conference call to divide the spoils. I already called the double barrel shotgun and the 30.06 (that's a rifle for the uninitiated.) He goes back next Friday to get the gall bladder stitches out and i guess we will know then. Thanks again for your prayers.

Another dad update, if you're interested ...

2008-02-12T03:23:36Z

So Doctor Feelgood, our family doctor for the past 25 years, finally admitted he had no clue what was happening with dad and sent him to Shreveport to see another doctor. Dad looks like he's carrying around Charlie Daniels' body and Jack Skellington's head. It is so disproportional it's scary. I mean ... he really looks like a bulimic actress in the face but has a hellacious beer gut down below.

So anyway. He went to the new doc today. The new guy is going to take care of the gall bladder Friday. We don't know how he is going to deal with the fluid that is built up in his abdomen but at least his is going to do SOMETHING! And they know the gall bladder is bad so that's a start. I'm happy, mom is happy ... but more importantly, he is happy. We'll see what happens next week and where we go from here.

Thanks for all your thoughts and good Ju-ju! It has not gone unnoticed OR unappreciated.

I am a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan ...

2008-02-04T04:19:15Z

... and have been since 1976, the year they came into the league. In Super Bowl XXXVII, the Bucs beat the Oakland Raiders to win their first championship in franchise history.

I thought that was a great game, but tonight? I think tonight was the best Super Bowl I have ever had the pleasure of watching and the first one in years I have watched until the last play was over.

I was rooting for the Patriots (anything or anyONE to get the whiney-ass '72 Dolphins to shut the fuck up) but I have to give props to the New York Football Giants.

Best.Super Bowl. EVAH!

Dis 'n dat, man ...

2008-02-02T01:43:26Z

I am working on a new blog template. I am getting tired of this one and Josh, Ryan and I are working on the new design. It may take a while, but when we get it done, I think I will be extremley happy with it, and you might be too. I know the template as it sits doesn't work on all browsers and am working to rectify that. I think it's gonna be cool and I love working with the boys on shit like this.

I am thinking about getting another tattoo. I have always liked "The Grimm Adventures of Billy and Mandy" on the Cartoon Network and have recently found an adult comic version of the series. You can check it out starting with the first strip here. This is the tattoo I want to get ... just the Grim Reaper, not the rest of it.

Dad has been to the doctor about twice a week trying to figure out what is wrong with him. Every time he goes in, the doc takes blood and other lab work but can't seem to figure out what the fuck is wrong! He is starting to get pissed. He has lost about 30 pounds now and looks like a skeleton ... except for his gut which still is fat and hard from the fluid that is in his torso. He says he feels better, but I think he is still worried. He goes in for a colonoscopy this week and has another appointment Thursday. He told me today that he is going to give the doc an ultimatum then: Find out what's wrong or I'll find a doctor that will.

I don't know if I told you but they drained a gallon of Karo Syrup-thick fluid out of his belly. They only stopped because the recepticle ran out of room to hold the fluid. I'm starting to get a little pissed at the inability to make a diagnosis too. I guess we will see this week what is up. Wish us luck.

Finally, a joke. So, two dyslexics walk into a bra ...

I am seeing fucking RED ...

2008-02-01T06:46:26Z

How DARE they ... fucking seditionist traitors

BERKELEY, Calif. -- Local officials in this liberal city say it's time for the U.S. Marines to move out. The City Council has voted to tell the Marines their downtown recruiting station is not welcome and "if recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome guests." The measure passed this week by a vote of 8-1. The council also voted to explore enforcing a city anti-discrimination law, focusing on the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. In a separate item, the council voted, also 8-1, to give protest group Code Pink a parking space in front of the recruiting office once a week for six months and a free sound permit for protesting once a week. Marine Capt. Richard Lund of the recruiting office declined comment on the council action. The recruiting office opened in Berkeley about a year ago, operating quietly until about four months ago when Code Pink began regular sidewalk protests. "I believe in the Code Pink cause. The Marines don't belong here, they shouldn't have come here, and they should leave," said Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates. Code Pink is circulating petitions to get a measure on the ballot in November making it more difficult to open military recruiting offices in Berkeley if they are near homes, parks, schools, churches, libraries or health clinics. Some employees and business owners aren't happy with the weekly protests. "My husband's business is right upstairs, and this (protesting) is bordering on harassment," Dori Schmidt told the council. "I hope this stops."

The Berkley amendment is based on the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy ... but it isn't a military policy. "Don't ask, don't tell" is a federal law, passed during the presidency of Bill Clinton. The Marines don't have a damn thing to say about it. It is the LAW OF THE LAND! If they have a problem with it, they should take it up with the Federal Government, not the guy that has to show up for work everyday because that is HIS JOB!

Sorry ... I get a little crazy when shit like this happens. The city council only has the right to pull ignorant bullshit like this because the Marines, that they obviously hate, fought and died (and are still fighting and dying) to protect the First Amendment right of free speech that they basically spat upon by denying the rights of the Marines to operate a recruiting business there while at the same time giving the Code Pink wackos free reign to protest to their hearts content. (DAMN! can you say "run-on" sentence? I knew you could!)

Wanna know what I think?

Tough shit, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I think the federal government should pull every bit of federal funding out of the city until they reverse their decision. AND, if an earthquake or other natural disaster occurs? The National Guard should tell them that they are busy and when they recind that order, they might be able to come in and help. (I know that sounds fucking harsh, but that's the way I roll. Again ... sorry.)

But that isn't gonna happen. A Marine was presented with that scenario and said (and I'm paraphrasing here) "We don't appreciate or agree with what they did, but we would help."

Republican Senator Jim DeMint has sent a letter to the city council announcing that he is submitting legislation to recind all earmarks headed for Berkley.

This is a slap in the face to all brave service men and women and their families. The First Amendment gives the City of Berkeley the right to be idiotic, but from now on they should do it with their own money. If the city can't show respect for the Marines that have fought, bled and died for their freedom, Berkeley should not be receiving special taxpayer funded handouts. I am currently drafting legislation to ensure that American taxpayers aren't forced to pay for this insult by rescinding all of the earmarks for Berkeley in the Omnibus Appropriations bill, and to transfer the funds to the Marine Corps.

I think I am going to form a protest organization and ask the Berkley city council to give me a free parking spot and noise permit to protest the Code Pink protest and when they deny it, I'll sue on the grounds of preferential treatment for organizations they agree with and the denial of my first amendment rights.

If you don't agree with the war, fine. I don't give a shit. Just don't take your penis envy out on the guys and gals that are spilling their blood to allow you to make an ass of yourself. If we were living under Sharia law, your heads would be on a post on the road lining the entrance to the city.

Ass fuckers.

God I hate ignorant people.

I have been remis ...

2008-01-31T17:57:17Z

so what the fuck else is new?

First I need to give a big laurel, and hardy handshake to Native, a new reader. Welcome aboard! I'm glad you got something out of the entry you found and hope that if nothing else, you get a chuckle now and again from dropping by.

Next to Michelle (Rose Princess.) *sniff* I have been remis in catching up with you IRL. I'm sorry. Remind me to let you spank me the next time I see you. 'kay? MUWAH!

Third, the other Michelle, the one that puts the M in "M&M", Lime, posted this yesterday and I cheated and did it ... NOT AT WORK, IN CASE THERE ARE ANY BUSYBODIES LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT ... AT WORK!

Hmmmm: Note to self. Talk to therapist about paranoid delusions and check whether thorazine prescription is up to date.

Anyway, here is the challenge:

Here's how it goes. You are about to have your own band's CD cover. Follow these directions to the letter. It's fun and requires no thought at all. Go to......

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way.

Here is my result:

Kind of apropos, I thought to myself as I was putting it together and basking in the warm glow of the initial effects of the thorazine.

Now, go have fun with it ... BUT NOT AT WORK! NEVER AT WORK!

Miss Utah and other tidbiIs ...

2008-01-28T02:30:32Z

First the tidbits: Dad is okay so far. I (and Mom) think that the doctor is flummoxed as far as what is wrong with him. Every test has come back clear but he has lost 20 pounds in the past month or so. They took a gallon of Karo Syrup-thickness fluid out of his stomach and sent that off for testing. They say there is no cancer apparent and that he does have gall stones, but I talked to him alone recently. He said that the fluid was not the disease, but just a symptom of something else wrong. (DUH!) He also talked about his liver. If there is cirrhosis of the liver, he said, there is a one year waiting list for a liver transplant and the average transplant candidate only has a 1-2 year life expectancy. He knows the doctor seems to be confused and seems to be worried. He will be going to get a second opinion next.

Now ... Miss Utah. I don't know if you know, but last night was the Miss America Pageant. Miss Utah looks like this:

This is the cover of the Dec. 2007 issue of "Soldiers" magazine. Stevens is a Sergeant in the Utah National Guard. She is a medic who has served a year-long tour in Afghanistan. She has also completed her college degree, passed the "bar" to receive her registered nurse certification and recently submitted the paperwork to become an officer.

She said that prior to this, she didn't own a pair of high heels and didn't know where to go to buy a pair. The self-described "tomboy" was the only contestant that chose to wear a one-piece bathing suit during the "fitness" competition.

Here is a picture of her in Afghanistan with a little girl she calls "my Cinderella":

The girl, an Afghan citizen, had eye problems. She was cross-eyed. Stevens talked to several doctors at the Army post she was at and got the girl the operation she needed to correct her eyesight Stevens has run in a dozen marathons and rode in the Miss Utah parade in her military uniform. She is a TRUE role model for little girls everywhere and an example to all that women in the military are NOT all uneducated bull dykes that have no other option than trying to be a man. You may think that is hyperbole, but I have actually heard people say that.

She didn't win. She was eliminated in the final round but she did win the "Peoples Choice" award, awarded by people that went to TLC.com. (the network that aired the pagent.) When they announced her name, she dropped down in her gown and heels and did about 20 push-ups. What was more impressive to me was that six or seven girls that hadn't been eliminated yet, dropped down and did them with her. WHAT THE FUCK? A bunch of vapid airheads getting down in gowns and high heels doing push-ups in solidarity with a loser chick that had no other option but to join the National Guard? No.

They respected her.

So does her commander:

"Obviously she is bright and attractive, but most important, she's a terrific soldier."

Maj. Gen. Brian Tarbet
Adjutant General of the Utah National Guard
On the Crowning of Jill Stevens as Miss Utah
July 2, 2007

I respect her too. Congratulations Sgt. Stevens!

Wanna read more about her? Check out this site: Gateway Pundit
.
And check out her blog: GI Jill

Congratulations Jill, and thank you for your service. The Army loves you and I appreciate you ... now how about an interview?

Happy Birthday to me ...

2008-01-10T04:26:50Z

I turned 46 today. Thank you Michelle for calling and singing to me. It made my day. My mom bought me a cake when I went to have lunch with her today (we eat lunch together every day because we work so close to each other). When I walked in, her whole office sang "Happy Birthday." It was priceless. Oh and I also got an LSU National Champions T-shirt too. w00t!!!!! Other than that, it felt just like any other day. Kinda like yesterday ... only 24 hours later.

Dad's procedure went well today .. not that we learned anything, but the scanner worked as it supposed to. We'll find out what all the tests add up to tomorrow. I did talk to him today, and he said he was feeling MUCH better. He also told me that he had been hurting since before Thanksgiving. I got one word for that ... DORKBUTT!

Currently, my two favorite songs are "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie and "Nothin' Better to Do" by Leanne Rymes.

Finally everyone at my office got BRAND SPANKING NEW IMacs today. I think I'm still tingly from the multiple orgasms. Speaking of, I need a cigarette. Talk to you later

Dad's Gall Bladder, redux ...

2008-01-09T00:45:55Z

So it looks like dad DOESN'T have gall bladder problems after all.

He went in to the doctor for a preoperative sonogram, so they could see what was up inside him and figure out the best way to correct it. What they found was a mass of fluid in his abdomen and a liver that wasn't working quite right.

He was immediately given an MRI. The MRI showed polyps on his stomach but not much more that the doctor could use to make a firm diagnosis with.

They did another round of blood work and tomorrow, he goes for a CT scan. That should give the doctors a clue as to what needs to be done. He has another appointment to discuss the findings Thursday. At a minimum, they plan to tap his stomach and drain some of the fluid out of his abdomen which should provide some relief to his pain.

We don't know much more than that, but hope to soon. Needless to say my mom is freaking.the.fuck.out. She is holding together, but just barely. And I can't do anything for her, so we sit and wait.

It feels like shit and I just want to throw up.