**

I don't know if I told you all this, but the transmission in my car blew up a week or so ago. Danna and I have been sharing a car until I get it fixed which may be a while. She works nights and I work days so there is a lot of time spent on the road. I drive to work in the morning, then take off to come back and get her, take her to work, come home at 5 p.m. and then back again to pick her up at 11 p.m. We get to bed and start the whole thing over again. Did I mention she works about four towns over? It's about a 35-40 minute drive each way. Thank God Tauruses (Tauri?) get decent gas mileage.

Normally when I'm on the road, I listen to audio books on my iPod, but when she and/or the boys are with me, we listen to the radio. Louisiana has an important election coming up on the 20th so every commercial break is packed with politicos telling us why we should vote for them and what shitheels their opponents are for daring to want the same job as they are seeking.

I don't go into it a lot on the blog, but I am pretty politically active and savvy. I used to get up on Sundays and watch every political show that came on -- "Meet the Press," ABC's "This Week," Fox News Sunday" and CNN's "Late Edition" -- while reading the Sunday paper cover to cover. I guess it was the old news guy in me. The point is, I know politics and have heard my share of pandering and spurious claims from those willing to spend millions of dollars to get a job that pays less than $200 K per year.

We have a guy named John Georges who is running for Governor this year. Now I gotta say that most of the time these days, I kinda tune out the political ads but this one brought me out of my reverie with a bang. It starts out telling about how Georges is not your typical politician. Gives his qualifications: schools graduated from, jobs held, etc. then moves on to why we should like him cuz, well, you know, he's just like you and me!

He's been endorsed by the NRA, He loves his kids and doesn't kick the cat. He puts his pants on one leg at a time ... and they are JEANS, not Armani. Then this ... and I quote: "He GETS Nascar ..."

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*****

I snapped out of contemplating my navel and asked the wife "WHAT the fuck did he just say?

She looked over and said "He gets Nascar."

"And why the fuck should I give a shit about that?" I asked. "Is that supposed to be high on my requirements for the man or woman I hope will give Louisiana back a little bit of it's dignity and pull us out of the gutter?"

"He's just trying to pull in the Redneck vote, I guess," she said.

"So I should run for office then: Hi, my name's Tommy. I don't pull the wings off of flies OR beat my kids ... very often. Vote for me."

"Nah ... It'd never work, you like cross dressing occasionally. Rednecks wouldn't like that. Besides, you're a Nascar fan yourself!"

"Yes I am, and proudly so! But I'm not ignorant enough to think that fact is so fucking important that I needed to mention it in order to get into the Governor's mansion!"

"So you gonna vote for him?"

"Hell NO!"

"Why not?"

"Well, first off, I hate politicians that will say whatever they think it will take to get elected, which in my opinion knocks out about 90 percent of the pack. But him being a liar isn't the worst thing."

"And what would be the worst thing?"

"Shit, he's probably a Jeff Gordon fan. How could I ever vote for someone with such a weak character as that? "

"Well, hell, Tommy. You're a Greg Biffle fan, and I stay married to you!"

"Yeah, but you just like the way I look in heels and a mini-skirt."