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... but then I lost my footing and fell off a cliff. Just my luck, I suppose.

I have been really proud of my boys lately. First there was Josh who stepped up and served Jury Duty. I don't think I ever told you the outcome of that. It was a child molestation case and the guy that was accused was found guilty on all five counts he was accused of. Anyway, the point was, that I was just really happy to see him taking on adult responsibilities.

Ryan just got his learner's permit recently. He has really impressed me with his conscientiousness as he has been learning how to maintain control of his vehicle while dealing with the sister-brother-first cousin, inbred spawn that makes up the majority of other drivers on our roads here.

But you know what they say ... life is a pendulum and no matter how far it swings in one direction, the laws of physics dictate that it will ALWAYS reach an apex and start swinging the other way again.

And boy, did that fucker swing this weekend.

First off, my 20 year old son owes his college about $300 from the last semester he went. He went in the Air Force and you know how that turned out. Well, instead of using the earnings from that experience to pay off his college, he decided he needed a new laptop more.

He was out of work for a long time after that but recently started working again. He got his first full check last Thursday, in fact. He asked the spousal unit to take him to Wal-Mart to pick up said bounty and told her he would walk home.

I told him NOT to blow the wad because there were bills to pay and he needed to start pitching in around the house to help us out. First off, I love him to death but some of the stupid shit he does just gets on my last mother fucking nerve.

This is a kid who will stay up all night flipping between the Cartoon Network, the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Hey, don't get me wrong. I like watching cartoons now and again, I even like the occasional episode of Drake and Josh or Ned's Declassified and I'm ALWAYS up for a rerun of Tim Allen's Home Improvement. I'm hip, but God damn! That is all the fuck he does! And then sleeps all fucking day.

Anyway, back to my original point. I got a call from the house saying he had bought a router for the house and stopped by the school to give his brother some money for lunch. I'm thinking "Cool! What an adult thing to do!" Yeah, whatever.

I got home and left young one some money for the football game the next day and Josh started to pick it up and put it in his pocket. Needless to say I stopped that shit cold. I noticed, though, that he only had $21 in his pocket. KNOWING he had gotten about $400, I asked if that was all he had. "Yeah." says he oh so nonchalantly. "So what the fuck did you spend the rest of your money on?" I ask as the blood starts to pool in my eyes and leak out my ears. Even more nonchalantly (if that's freaking possible) he looks over and says: "CDs and games."

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CDs AND FUCKING VIDEO GAMES? W.T.F. IS HE FUCKING THINKING?

I'm sorry. I can't finish this right now ... I need to go call my therapist. I think I may be heading back into that dark place again. Oh, and drugs ... lots of drugs. And maybe infanticide, ooooooooh that sounds soooooooo calming and peaceful right about now. Let me cool off and I'll be back to tell you the rest of the story ... promise.

Ooooooommmmmmmm. Oooooommmmmmm!

Breathe, Tommy, breathe.