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Okay. So last night, I told Joshua to go out and mow the front lawn. He went out and, in his usual half-assed fashion, mowed about, oh ... a quarter of it before giving up? Yeah, he's a ball of energy and responsibility, that one.

Fast forward to this morning. I was out on the front porch talking to the gas company about when in the near future I might have gas again (we've had some kind of problem and it's been turned off since the 2nd) and notice the OLD man across the street is puttering around in his yard. I get off the phone with the gas company (the leak should be fixed tomorrow sometime) and come back into the house to ... well ... surf the net and fuck off a little bit.

Have I mentioned I'm on vacation? Yeah, life's tough.

Josh spent the night with the ex last night so he could take a shower (no hot water here. see gas reference above) and be ready for a job interview at Wal-Mart. They got back a little after I came in and asked "Why is the neighbor mowing your lawn?"

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That's right. The old man had gotten on his riding lawnmower and come over to finish Josh's job ... uninvited, without asking.

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I need to go ask him when he's gonna weed eat, I guess.

Oh and JOSHUA GOT CALLED INTO WAL-MART FOR AN INTERVIEW! WOO HOO! This fucking kid (Kid my shiny, bald ass. He'll be 20 in November) has been unemployed since he got back from the failed attempt at joining the military. I was so fed up, I told him to have his shit ready because I was taking him every place in town to apply during my vacation.

Well, lo and behold, the first day of vacation, he gets an interview. Pending a background check (and just what the fuck do they have to check? He's a former fucking employee! Don't even get me started ...) and a drug screen, he'll be the garden center cashier. THANK GOD! Now he can contribute something besides keeping up with the story line of "Drake and Josh" and testing his mattress for firmness until early afternoon.

Finally, a joke. When I got to my current hometown, I looked up my high school girlfriend. We had lost contact through the years, so imagine my surprise to find she is living here, in almost the same place she did when we dated!

We got in touch and have hung out a few times since then. It's good to have an old friend to talk to these days. Well, she texts me occasionally with jokes and such. Never to be one NOT to attribute when I blatantly steal something, this is her latest offering:

"I just bought a racehorse called 'My Face.' It may not be any good, but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'Come on, My Face!!!'"

Yeah, she cracks my shit up. Laters!