**

I hated Alabaster Christian Academy from the moment I walked through the doors. I thought the people were so snotty and snooty ... just a bunch of pampered rich kids who would leave there bound for the best colleges and careers. What did I care about that. I didn't need school, didn't want to be there ... hell, I wanted to be a longshoreman. What do they need school for? (Although after watching a season's worth of the Discovery Channel's "The Deadliest Catch" I think I'm glad I didn't follow up on that dream!)

I don't know if I can explain it as good as the school handbook does. I'm totally serious, you really need to read this so you get a feeling of what this old miscreant was facing. Go ahead ... it's only about 20 pages. I'll wait.

***

***

***

I soon learned that ACA didn't work like other schools. They worked on the P.A.C.E. system. Don't even ask me what P.A.C.E. stands for and I won't lie and act like I know (although I'm thinking "Puritans Against Christless Education" or "Prudes Aghast at Children's Enjoyment.") I just tried to Google it and couldn't find it.

Here's the basic concept: Students took classes at their own pace, hence, I suppose the P.A.C.E. system. The quicker you could get done and pass the test, the quicker you moved to the next subject. They actually had kids who applied themselves, and as a result, graduated at the age of 16. No shit!

Boys and girls, I made up every credit I failed in my previous two and a-half years in public school ... and I did it in one semester. Actually, I was ahead of where I was supposed to be at that point in my career. I was so far ahead that, during my senior year, all I had to take were two English classes and an agriculture class (an elective.) I spent the second half of the day at auto shop class at the vocational technical school.

As much as I hated ACA, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me at that point in my life. Oh and I lettered in wrestling also. I went to the state championship and got my ass WHIPPED in the first round, but I lettered. I think that was the first thing I ever excelled at that I could really be proud of.

To this day, I have a hard time believing I actually joined an extracurricular activity that didn't end up with me passed out on the floor or puking in a corner. Of course I got to legally beat people up, which was probably the biggest benefit I could see to the whole thing. God, I love a good cross-face! But I digress.

Things are looking up. I got my shiite together. I think it's all gonna work out fine.

Yeah

Sure. This is Tommy we're talking about, remember?

Next chapter? "The Downfall". See ya later!