**: I think I know ...

When I was a kid, all I wanted to be was an actor, I have acted in a dozen productions since then. Out of the dozen, I got the lead in about ten. A lot of them were musicals and so I had to sing as well.

Fortunately, I sing well.

Unfortunately, unless you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, you don't get many offers off the street. Okay, that may be unfair ... I guess you have to want it enough to go for it, damn the cost.

I wanted to be an actor or singer my whole life. But that's not something that you can get a degree in and move on to bigger and better things. Truthfully? I was always a pussy. My dad told me that. Even though I was good and showed success in my ventures. I believed him.

I lived with my parents until about the age of 23 ... I think. I really don't remember. I had worked as a paper boy and a commissary bag-boy while I lived in Alaska. I earned and saved enough money to buy myself a Pugeaut racing bike. Sweetest little ten-speed you've ever seen in your life. *Sigh*

I've worked construction, opened a few restaurants -- been everything from dishwasher to head chef in fact. Stockboy, cashier ... I've pretty much done everything. What do they say? "Jack of all trades, master of none." Yep, that's your humble correspondent.

I met my wife and we dated for six years. She was with me, faithfully, through all kinds of shit during that time. I thought I was called to preach (yeah, hold your snickers and guffaws) but it turned out God was calling some other guy and I just overheard him.

Regardless, that mistake took up two years of my life. I would go out preaching and she'd be there with me. I formed a Christian band and took it on the road ... I was so busy doing God's work that I forgot to go to class and ended up getting kicked out of the bible college I was attending.

I ended up smoking dope and getting my ear pierced for the first time. When they called me in to give me the news that my presence would no longer be required on campus, my counselor ACTUALLY asked ... and I'll never forget this ... "So, Tommy. What's with the earring? You a homosexual?"

***

I think that's what turned me off of God for good. That particular moment was the beginning of a hate-hate relationship that has lasted my whole life, but that's another tale.

So now I'm out of college, I have a fiancee that's been waiting for six years for me to get off my ass and marry her and I have no prospects. What's a guy to do? Join the Air Force of course.

:::TO BE CONTINUED:::

**

I think I know ...

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