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(Black and) White and Nerdy ... but that's the way he rolls!

I wrote the post this morning about Ryan and the problems with his eye and how I was a little worried about it. I have the BEST circle of friends ya'll! You responded with good wishes and good luck but one friend in particular went above and beyond. JYBiscuit wrote:

Going out back to get a goat right now. Let me know how well my ritual works. I've been working out some kinks. If your son comes home with three eyes, it's TOTALLY not my fault!

Biscuit? I'm happy to say ... the goat worked baby! YEAH! We got to the doc, filled out the bazillion pages of paperwork signifying that we were going to pay and that we were who we were and that if we didn't pay, our grand children's grandchildren would still be serving indentured servitude for daring to welsh on their extortive demands reasonable office fees. Oh and if any of you get a bill from an eye doctor in Louisiana? It's probably okay to ignore it ... maybe ... unless your grandkids plan on having grandkids ... or you have a kidney that isn't doing anything at the moment. But I digress.
They dilated his eye and sat him in a dark room. The doctor came in and threw some chicken bones in a pattern at his feet, pulled out an idol and alter, lit some incense and began chanting as the torchlight illuminated his retina and ominous drums beat in the distance. He took a cursory peek, told his assistant to go get the vial of chicken blood off his desk and the newt's eye in the file cabinet.
She got back with the supplies and he took a deeper look into his eye. (Here's where the goat comes in.) So he finishes the exam, turns around and with an evil gleam in his eye says the hole we thought might be still there was healed, but not as well as it could be. Also there is a cataract there. He mumbled some words after that in what sounded like Swahili ... or French, I'm not sure. I didn't catch it as I was mentally tallying up the worth of everything I could sell from my dogs to my wife's ovaries to pay for the impending surgery. He must have put some kind of spell on us because it sounded like he said "There's nothing that needs to be done right now. Glasses won't correct it and his good eye sees 20/20 so there's no need. If problems develop, come back in. If not, I'll want to see him in two years to look at it again."
"- - - W.T.F. did he say?" I asked my wife, who simply growled, shook her head and wisely headed for the door.
We got out to the desk, received an appointment for Dec. 8 2008 at 10 a.m. and were ushered out the side door as the next victim patient took their place in the assembly line. THEY DIDN'T EVEN TAKE A COPAY! I'm scared ya'll!
So Biscuit? I looks like the goat worked ... but every since the eye exam, my son has been looking at me funny ... like he's hungry ... and he barks and mutters to himself. Something about "third wave of the apocalypse" and "Zuel the unconquerable." Heh! Crazy teenagers and their crazy talk! Oh, and does anyone know how to get chicken blood out of blue jeans? I think I got a little too close to the altar. Damn!