**

The Cajun Twelve Days Of Christmas

On dem first day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
A crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem second day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Two voodoo dolls
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem third day of Christmas my true love she gave to me:
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

** Notes: a pirogue (pronounced pee-roh) is a flat-bottomed canoe; fleur de lis is the flower of the french kings and the New Orleans Saints football symbol; cypress knees are the roots of a cypress tree that sticks out of the water; poules d'eau (pronounced pool-doh) is chicken or hen of the water (a duck); pousse café (pronounced poose kaffay) is coffee with a bit of alcohol in it; and Cajuns are the French Acadians that live in southern Louisiana.

On dem fourth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem fifth day of Christmas,
I could not believe in all my days what she come up with:
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem sixth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem seventh day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem eighth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Eight crabs a brewin',
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem ninth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Nine oysters stewin',
Eight crabs a brewin',
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem tenth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Ten pirogue paddles,
Nine oysters stewin',
Eight crabs a brewin',
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem eleventh day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Eleven duck decoys,
Ten pirogue paddles,
Nine oysters stewin',
Eight crabs a brewin',
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

On dem twelveth day of Christmas, my true love she gave to me:
Twelve shotgun shells,
Eleven duck decoys,
Ten pirogue paddles,
Nine oysters stewin',
Eight crabs a brewin',
Seven fleur de lis,
Six cypress knees,
Five poules d'eau,
Four pousse café,
Three stuffed shrimp,
Two voodoo dolls,
And a crawfish in a fig tree.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE BAYOU STATE, YA'LL

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 1:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

... into the wild blue yonder! Flying high, into the sky!

Well, my son has made it official. He is leaving the nest to strike out and make his way in the world. When I picked him up from work tonight, he had an odd bag in his hands. I asked what was in the bag and he proudly whipped out a letter ...






excusing him from work ...






so he could go to New Orleans ...






next Wednesday and Thursday ...






and join the U.S. Air Force.

Me: *?*?*?*

Not that there is anything wrong with that. As a ten year veteran of the Air Force, I am proud that he decided to do this. It's just that it was kind of a shock ... IS kind of a shock to realize that this child (man) who once came to me with everything he needed help with is man enough to think about his goals, make up his mind how to achieve those goals and take decisive, proactive steps to get the process underway. And it doesn't bother me a bit that he didn't tell me until the decision was made ... much. Either way, he knows what he wants, he knows what they will try to do to him and he knows that until he signs the contract, he can walk away. I''m proud and I'm nervous for him (but don't tell HIM that. He might start to think I care about him or something. Pffft!) I can't wait to see him off on this next leg of his journey. I'm proud of you Josh. Aim high! I know you'll make us proud of you. Good luck son. I love you but your grandma and aunt are gonna go batshit! Hang tough, cuz you're the man.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 11:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Santa? Or Satan?

Hi! My name is Tommy and I have a problem with Christmas. I am working on this problem at great personal sacrifice to my mental psyche and have been making incredible progress. NO REALLY I HAVE!
I have actually walked around with the words "Merry Christmas" on my lips and have even been caught whistling Christmas tunes. The Christmas tree is up and decorated and there are even lights on the holly bushes (that's right, I said HOLLY bushes) lining my sidewalk. How much more Christmasy can you get than that, I ask you? I have even tuned my internet radio to the Christmas station and was even considering buying a few gifts ... but that was before last night.
I came home last night to an empty pig sty house ... again ... not that I mind coming home to an empty house, I actually prefer it most of the time (Okay, it wasn't totally empty. My kids were there but work with me here.)
I pull into the driveway, thinking about what I need to do for work HA! Yeah, I kill me too sometimes. I actually had Laurell K. Hamilton's latest Merry Gentry offering, Mistral's Kiss, and couldn't wait to get started. (I finished it last night by the way and if you haven't read it yet, OH.MY.GOD! You should ... just start with the first one. Each book is a continuation of the same story and you would be hopelessly lost if you jumped in here. But I digress ...)
Anyway, I walk up the path, admiring the pretty lights as I pass them. My eye sweeps up to the living room window and I note how beautiful and festive the tree looks shining out on the world. I start to hum a tune as I reach for the storm door to enter my humble abode ... and the whole world comes crashing down upon my head, deflating my spirit, stealing the essence of everything I had built up to this point and crushing my Christmas spirit like a squirrel under a four-wheeler's monster tires.

What was it that could have done such a horrible thing? Wiped out days of progress and put a screeching halt to any hope of a change in attitude? The grinch that entered my life last night was this:

Satan's pitchfork

Looks pretty innocent doesn't it? Doesn't look anything like the Anti-Christ does it? Well that's where you're wrong. If it were just an ordinary wreath? I could handle that and everything would be fine. But this wreath is actually the pitchfork Satan uses to prod me in the ass and crush any happiness I might dare to foment this time of year.

He has used this implement of destruction to torment me for the past ten years. I've tried everything to rid myself of this blight on the holiday season to no avail. What's so bad about it you ask? HA! If only you knew. You see ... it talks to me. Okay, it sings to me if you wanna be accurate, but again? Work with me here people.

There is a small sensor hidden in the wreath that picks up the slightest movement in the vacinity and sends "Santa" (Santa, riiiiiight. I'm on to you fat man or shall we call you by your true name ... Beelzebub!) Whenever the sensor is tripped, the Lord of Flies launches into a hearty chant "Ho,Ho,Ho!" (surely the signal to release the demons of hell on an unsuspecting populace) and one of a dozen Christmas tunes then plays a short snippet before S(atan)anta wishes all a "Happy New Year!" (again a signal to the hounds of hell but I haven't decoded that one yet. I'm sure it has something to do with the eviscerating of souls of mall employees, turning them into surly louts even as Zuel sits high on his throne turning shoppers into Zombies and preparing to rain down mountains of credit card bills (at 21% interest) on the hapless fools ... but I'll have to get back to you on that.)

I feel my soul being ripped out of my body just thinking and writing about it. Can somebody help? I've tried hiding the damn thing, losing the batteries, hiring the guy that played the priest in the exorcist to exorcise the demon spawn that ruined Christmas, all to no avail.

JESUS ...

I just heard "Ho,Ho,Ho!" coming from down the hall.

It may be too late for me but I'll hold him as long as I can.

Save yourselves and warn the rest of the world!

I fear the end is upon us but if we band togther ...

No .. no ... NO!

......aaaaaaarghhhghhghghg!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 8:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

"Suddenly, as rare things will, it vanished ..."
--- Robert Browning

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 1:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Don't have a whole lot today ... or for the past several days for that matter but I'm sure you're used to that. So instead of whining about anything or making some stupid shit up to see where it leads me ... wait, that's what I'm doing here. Oh well. C'mon in and lets take a tour through the crevasses, canyons and cobwebs of Tommy's mind and see where we end up. Buckle up, it could be a bumpy ride!
First off, I don't know if you know it or not but a military base is a magnet for, shall we say, dubious businesses. There are the check cashing places that will front you money at a bazillion percent interest compounded hourly, easy financing furniture stores and used car dealerships, dollar stores (not the upscale dollar stores, but the trashy ones. You know the type.), mediocre tattoo parlors with semi sanitary conditions and bars ... biker bars, titty bars, "gentleman's" clubs (and I use the term very loosely here), redneck bars and just plain dives. Well I must be getting old (DUH!) because on the way in to work this morning I passed a dive. About a quarter mile up the road from said dive, there was a youngish dude walking on the side of the road. As I passed, I noticed he carried a couple of longnecks in his hand. The breakfast of champions indeed! And then, at a picnic table OUTSIDE the bar was an old man with a couple of beers in front of him, sitting and watching traffic pass. Did I mention this was 8:30 in the morning? Now I've closed a few bars in my time and never thought twice about it, but the only thing I could think of as I passed them this morning was "Don't you people have JOBS?" Yep, it's official! I have turned into my father. **SHUDDERS**
If you haven't seen the post below, check it out and we'll put this subject to bed. I received a very nice e-mail from this lady today thanking me for the article and the follow up which just reinforces the thought that sometimes our actions affect people we may not know in ways we may never comprehend. Apparently there was a trial after the accident that took her son. The person responsible for his death served seven months in prison. I don't know all the details but she has been fighting with that fact for several years now. Her letter today seemed to bring some sense of closure for her as well as relief that someone else knew the story and looked in on her son. It just felt good and I wanted to tell you about it.
Believe it or not, the federal government is not an endless cash cow! A few months ago we were told there was no more money in the budget for overtime. We were instructed to take an hour of comp time for every hour of overtime worked instead. Here's my question. If your workload is heavy enough to require overtime and doesn't seem to be letting up, when the fuck do they think you'll have time to take comp time? I do take about a day a week off but not enough to burn it all up. Even taking a day a week, I still have eight days built up and more coming every payday! That's on top of the three weeks vacation I have built up so far. I guess it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. Pffft. Although I'd rather have the money!
Next week is the last week of work for me this year. I am off from the 22nd through the 2nd (at least) of January. The only bitch is we have to put two papers together this week: the Christmas issue and the New Year's issue. It's gonna be a bitch with much overtime I predict. On the other hand, thanks to the above mentioned comp time, the vacation isn't going to cost me a day of leave. WooHoo! ... What? Hey, I said I was brilliant, not consistent.
Finally, we had our office luncheon today. I am stuffed as a deer tick in the fall and think I need to go lay down and sleep some of this shit off. Good news though, I refined my piña colada cheesecake and it was a smashing success. So off to lala land for me and you? You have a great weekend. See ya on the web huh? Tommy out! Oh ... and apparently I need to get laid. Just sayin.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 4:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

A while ago I posted about several crosses I found on the road. (this link is to the original version with all the curse words and other hoo haw that can't go in the paper.) I really liked it and needed a commentary to compete during this year's journalism awards so I cleaned it up and submitted it for publication. It was well received by management and printed in the paper several weeks ago. Little did I know that that commentary would be more than just words on a paper to someone living several states away, but it would. Here's the story behind the story:

Friday, December 8, 2006 Editor's note: In the Nov. 18 Guardian, staff writer (Tommy Gunn) wrote a poignant commentary about the white crosses that pepper the sides of the roads. (Gunn) wondered who those crosses belong to? Who is left in this world to mourn them? Are the crosses forgotten -- weathered by wind, rain and time?
Several weeks later, (Gunn) received a letter from Alabama, from the mother of a young Soldier whose cross is located on Mill Creek Road. The young man died in a vehicle accident. The mother, Tammy (ZZZZZZZ), subscribes to the Guardian because her son died here and it makes her feel closer to him. Reading (Gunn's) commentary, she felt the need to respond and she poured her heart out in a two-page letter.
The letter is filled with a mother's pain, a mother who doesn't want her son's cross forgotten. She wants his name known, and she wants the world to know how much she loved him.
Please be aware that the letter is very emotional. We are printing it because we can help this mother, in a small way, make her son's name known. Amazing how a simple commentary -- a simple act -- can have such a profound impact.

Dear Mr. (Tommy Gunn),
My name is Tammy (ZZZZZZZ) and I live in Alabama. I read your article on the crosses and I just had to respond. I am blessed because even through a tragic loss I can find beauty.
For families who lose loved ones because of vehicle accidents, the spot where they died becomes a priceless piece of ground. You put a cross there in the hope that your loved one will not be forgotten. I want to share a story with you about my son, a Fort Polk Soldier named Pfc. Brian Thomas (ZZZZZZZ). Pfc. (ZZZZZZZ) wanted to become a military police officer more than anything else in life, so he joined the U.S. Army to make his dream come true. Brian turned 20 while in training and when he graduated, he said it was the happiest day of his life.
In March of 2000, Brian was sent to Fort Polk. Two months later he was in Haiti but had to return because of some wisdom teeth problems. We went to Fort Polk to visit him. Little did we know that the day we left would be the last day we'd see him alive. Within the next week he would be killed in an automobile accident on post.
Brian and I had a special way of saying goodbye to each other. It didn't matter who was watching -- he always let me put my ear to his chest to listen to his heart beat and kiss his cheek. Little did I know that would be the last time I heard his heart beat, the last time my lips touched his face.
On Aug. 8, I talked to Brian. I rushed him off the phone because I was worried about him having a high phone bill. Before daybreak on Aug. 9, Pfc. (ZZZZZZZ) would be in heaven after a terrible car accident.
I would never see that beautiful young man's smile again. His young, strong body would never give those bear hugs again. All I could do at his funeral was wrap my arms around his cold casket hoping he could somehow feel my love for him.
After the funeral, we went to the crash site and placed a white wooden cross and flags to honor and respect the memory of our son.
On the second anniversary of Brian's death, I visited Fort Polk and went to the crash site. At 3:30 a.m., I lay down on the spot of ground where he took his last breath. I reached out my hand and thought, “Mama could not be here for you then. It was out of my hands. But I am here now.” Now, more than six years later, questions cross our minds all the time about that little white cross on that priceless little spot of ground. Life moves on, people come and go, and as years pass by, does anyone care about that little white cross that stands alone on the side of Mill Creek Road? When bad weather comes, will that little cross remain standing? I am telling you all of this because of your article wondering about other white crosses on the side of the road. And the main reason for this letter is that I am speaking from a mother's heart. I am the proud mother of Pfc. Brian Thomas (ZZZZZZZ). And now, if you ever come across that little white cross, you now its story and the love that placed it there.
I am thankful and blessed to be able to tell you about this cross. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
God bless,
Tammy (ZZZZZZZ)

We got her permission to republish her letter. I don't really like a lot of attention (pffft! Okay that cracked me up too but that's not why I'm posting this, seriously.) In fact I debated myself a long time before deciding to do it. It's just that her letter touched my heart. I have Z'd out the names so they won't be Googled.
The reason I am posting it is because I've given Christmas a lot of grief lately. I don't really hate Christmas, per se. I LOVE the music. I love the spirit of the holiday. What I hate is the commercialization of Christmas. It seems like that's what it's all about anymore. Who can get the biggest, most expensive gift for whom. What store can make the most over the holidays by being the first to open. Who can be the first Christmas shopper to line up and be prepared to trample an old lady or brawl with a kid for the privledge of saving $10 on a fucking VCR. Pah! To hell with the lot of them.
What Christmas is to me, is a mother reading something that touched her heart and taking the time to sit down and compose a two page letter telling someone she was affected in a positive way. Sharing her story. It comes from deep within us, not a fucking 50% off sale at Wal-Mart or Target. So what do you say? Instead of buying someone something bigger and better this year, can we give something from the heart instead. Maybe, just maybe if we try hard enough, we'll revive the spirit and take Christmas back from Madison Avenue and Wall Street.
I know what you're thinking. I hear ya plain as day! "Who the fuck are you, Tommy, to tell me how to celebrate Christmas?" and you're right. Who the fuck am I? I'm just a grinch who had his heart touched by a woman he never met and probably never will but now has a connection with anyway. A woman who showed me that, sometimes? Sometimes things we do really do matter to someone besides ourselves. So let's pause for a brief second and remember the real reason for the season. I will if you will ... I promise. Merry Christmas ya'll.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 6:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

This is a Christmas decoration at the Sonic Drive in in Alexandria, Louisiana. Note the tape holding the decorations to the wall. I call it "Ghetto Deco":

What would your title be?

So, as I sit here listening to the all-Christmas radio station on the internet, the thought crosses my mind ... "Is it so terrible to want Christmas to just ... go away?" We put the tree up finally and some outside decorations and I just don't care. No feeling whatsoever one way or the other. I also couldn't care if I get the first gift or not, although I'm sure there will be something from someone. I walk a thin line this time of year. I don't want to ruin it for the kids, one of which has his first job and is thoroughly enjoying buying presents with his own money. I also don't wanna be around the family and have to put on the happy face or risk ruining their Christmas ... it's just too much damn work. So I sit here and dream of a lovely vacation to the Island of Misfit toys where Christmas is forgotten ... if it hadn't been for that damned meddling Yukon Cornelius and his crew! Hmmm. Wonder how much Aruba is this time of year? Where do you think I should go where there isn't a chance in hell of seeing the first ornament or hearing "ho, ho, ho!"? Where would YOU go to get away from it all? But seriously, Merry Christmas to YOU. You have all made my life richer this past year and for that I wish you the best of seasons. May it be all you want it to be and I truly mean that. Peace

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Love and Hate

It's Monday and I ain't got squat. Okay, next to squat.
I had a great weekend (with the exception of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers losing to the Falcons Sunday. Pffft!) The Dallas Stars beat the Phoenix Coyotes and I got to enjoy that game with a friend of mine so that was good. And then in a game that tore my heart up ... The New Orleans Saints beat the Dallas Cowboys. Now, I could give two tin shits that the Cowboys got beat. I hate them with a passion. In fact the only team I hate ALMOST as much as the Cowboys are the Saints. See my dilemma here?. Yay the Cowboys lost but why did I end up rooting for the Saints to do it? I guess that's just something I'll have to ask my therapist.
I hope none of you were looking for me this weekend. I wasn't online or available much. I have been trying to devote a little more time to my photography and am trying to learn more Photoshop as well. I have found a new group on Flickr that I really like. It's called the 3Way Challenge group and I'm just kinda digging it. I just feel like I should be out with the camera on the weekend. You know what's going on in my life, and that just kinda makes it all go away. I start my Christmas Vacation the 22nd and will be off until the 2nd (or 3rd ... or 4th, I haven't decided yet.) I really can't wait. I haven't done the first bit of Christmas shopping yet so maybe next week (told you I was a procrastinator! Neener!) Ah, Christmas -- see Scrooge in the sidebar if you wanna know my philosophy on the whole thing.
That's about it I guess. Boring, blah, nothing to write home about. I'll try and be funny tomorrow or Wednesday. Promise. Have a great week!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 8:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

There is a Chip Mill and Woodyard near my home and for some reason they spray the logs with water 24/7/365. It got really cold here the past couple of days and this was the result:

Many more pics on Flickr if you're interested.
I found a new website that I kinda dig. It's The Gaping Void and it's got shit like this on it. You should check it out:

and finally it's time to put the tree up. Somebody shoot me please? Or at least tie me up in front of this:

Have a good weekend everybody. For the FUNNY shit, see the previous post or two. Laters

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

(Black and) White and Nerdy ... but that's the way he rolls!

I wrote the post this morning about Ryan and the problems with his eye and how I was a little worried about it. I have the BEST circle of friends ya'll! You responded with good wishes and good luck but one friend in particular went above and beyond. JYBiscuit wrote:

Going out back to get a goat right now. Let me know how well my ritual works. I've been working out some kinks. If your son comes home with three eyes, it's TOTALLY not my fault!

Biscuit? I'm happy to say ... the goat worked baby! YEAH! We got to the doc, filled out the bazillion pages of paperwork signifying that we were going to pay and that we were who we were and that if we didn't pay, our grand children's grandchildren would still be serving indentured servitude for daring to welsh on their extortive demands reasonable office fees. Oh and if any of you get a bill from an eye doctor in Louisiana? It's probably okay to ignore it ... maybe ... unless your grandkids plan on having grandkids ... or you have a kidney that isn't doing anything at the moment. But I digress.
They dilated his eye and sat him in a dark room. The doctor came in and threw some chicken bones in a pattern at his feet, pulled out an idol and alter, lit some incense and began chanting as the torchlight illuminated his retina and ominous drums beat in the distance. He took a cursory peek, told his assistant to go get the vial of chicken blood off his desk and the newt's eye in the file cabinet.
She got back with the supplies and he took a deeper look into his eye. (Here's where the goat comes in.) So he finishes the exam, turns around and with an evil gleam in his eye says the hole we thought might be still there was healed, but not as well as it could be. Also there is a cataract there. He mumbled some words after that in what sounded like Swahili ... or French, I'm not sure. I didn't catch it as I was mentally tallying up the worth of everything I could sell from my dogs to my wife's ovaries to pay for the impending surgery. He must have put some kind of spell on us because it sounded like he said "There's nothing that needs to be done right now. Glasses won't correct it and his good eye sees 20/20 so there's no need. If problems develop, come back in. If not, I'll want to see him in two years to look at it again."
"- - - W.T.F. did he say?" I asked my wife, who simply growled, shook her head and wisely headed for the door.
We got out to the desk, received an appointment for Dec. 8 2008 at 10 a.m. and were ushered out the side door as the next victim patient took their place in the assembly line. THEY DIDN'T EVEN TAKE A COPAY! I'm scared ya'll!
So Biscuit? I looks like the goat worked ... but every since the eye exam, my son has been looking at me funny ... like he's hungry ... and he barks and mutters to himself. Something about "third wave of the apocalypse" and "Zuel the unconquerable." Heh! Crazy teenagers and their crazy talk! Oh, and does anyone know how to get chicken blood out of blue jeans? I think I got a little too close to the altar. Damn!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

I'm off today. Last Friday everybody else got off at about 2:30 but I had to stay and cover the Post Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony. That lasted until about 6:30 p.m. so my boss told me to take today off. It's a good thing because I have a very important Doctor's appointment today ... or I should say my son does.
My brain is so addled lately that I don't remember if I told you this so I'll tell you again. When Ryan was 6 or 7, he was diagnosed with a hole in his retina. It was right at the spot where the image comes together and focuses. He had to have surgery to repair it. Part of the recovery process required him to lay face down for about a week (it may have been two, I'm not really sure) while the eye healed from the surgery. He's fucking six years old! How do you think he did? Yeah, not that great.
Fast forward ten years. He is 16 and a Junior in High School. He failed an eye exam given by the school and was referred to an optometrist. Well, the optometrist diagnosed him with a cataract and swelling on the retina of the eye. Either he didn't have the equipment or the skill, or the swelling in the eye prevented him from seeing if the hole was still there. He DID say that glasses wouldn't correct his problems and referred us to a specialist. That's where we are headed in a matter of hours.
I am sure he's going to have to have surgery. The question is, how complicated the procedure will be. I guess we will know in a few hours. To tell you the truth I'm a little worried about it so do me a favor. Whatever juju, good thoughts, prayers or live animal sacrifices you can send up, please think about my boy today and wish us luck. How's he doing you ask? I think he may be a little worried but he's 16 and at 16 you gotta be cool. After the last appointment I was trying to gauge his feelings.

Me: "You know you are probably gonna have to have surgery to repair that?"

Ryan: "Yeah." (***sound of gears turning in head***) "How many days you think I'll get off of school for that?"

Me: - - -

Fucking teenagers ... can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em into white slavery. Pffft!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Where has the year gone? Do you realize it's almost Christmas! I know ... makes me wanna throw up too. Couple of things here. You may notice that I have new digs. I spent a lot of time putting it together and trying to get it right but I understand that in some browsers on some platforms it is still a little wonky. I use Firefox and it looks fine there. It also looks 98% good on my IE7. I am going to continue working on it until I get the kinks worked out of it. So be patient with me. And if it's really fucked up, drop me a line and let me know. The address is in the sidebar over there.
Secondly ... I am a big loser. But I'm not alone. Susie and AndyT13 are big losers too. What? No, we're not depressed! Silly! We just lost a butt load of weight over the past several months. Geez! What were you thinking? In fact we decided to team up and do a 'Biggest Losers" HNT post. It's over at Susie's blog so go over and check it out. I think between the three of us, we've lost a whole person! Amazing isn't it? Ok maybe you don't think so but we're pretty excited about it so shaddup and get over there and check it out.
Finally, the HNT. I have been thinking about what to do lately. I have been participating since shortly after it started and sometimes? You just hit a creative block. I do admire other peoples creativity and beings how I'm in a plagiarizing mood, I decided to copy a couple of people's past HNT's. First up is the luscious Lime. A long time ago, she decided that she was going through a rebirth and did this HNT that just blew me away. It is still one of my favorites from her. Lime keeps it pretty PG over there so this is also the most risque I think she's ever done, but it was tasteful and very artistic ... everything mine isn't. So without further ado ... my homage to Lime ... my version of "Rebirth"

Fetal

Of course most of the time when you find me in this position it's because I am in the throes of depression, bleeding from the ears and that's the only thing I know to do. Lime? You inspire me. Thank you.
Next up is a Canadian hottie I really admire. She is beautiful and she's a hell of a photographer. I'm talking about Susan over at The Melody Censor. Susan is doing the 365 project. It's where you take a picture of yourself everyday for an entire year. She has really done some good work. And she just got a new camera package so she should have some really amazing stuff to show off soon. She also has the most amazing blue eyes you have ever seen. Anyway, I was looking at her Flickr account the other day catching up and saw this shot that took my breath away. She was laying down looking above her head directly into the camera. Apparently her blue eyes were so crisp and bright that it hurt to look at them so she made the photo sepia. Again, it doesn't even come close, but here is my tribute to Susan.

Looking up!

So there you have it ... my offering tonight. Now if you don't mind, tomorrows gonna be a bitch and I need to get to bed. Wanna know what it's all about? Go see Os, the great and terrible and he'll hook you up with the rules. Get nekkid and get happy! HHNT everybody. I'll see you Friday.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 8:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (24)

Stole this from Lime who whipped it out when she had nothing so I figured I could use it too. Ain't I original?
Here's the deal. These are her instructions and if they are good enough for Lime, they are good enough for me!
Without further ado, Heeeeeeeeere's LIME to explain the rules: "**ahem** Now I am not about humiliating my faithful readers so I am putting a twist on it. If you want to answer the questions honestly feel free, but I am instead going to encourage you to answer them in the crazy way I would normally do a meme. In lieu of that, just get weird on me and make crap up. Entertain me, folks. I'm not gonna ask you to answer all of them if you don't want but I would like you to answer as many as you can."
Thank You LIME! Well, it works for me. Work for you? Good. Then get to work! I need to be entertained! Happy Tuesday!

1. My name:
2. Where did we meet:
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
4. How long have you known me:
5. When is the last time that we spoke/chatted:

6. Do I drink:
7. What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:
8. What's one of my favorite things to do:
9. Am I funny:
10. What's my favorite type of music:

11. Can I sing:
12. What is the best feature about me:
13. Am I shy or outgoing:
14. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
15. Do I have any special talents:

16. I'm hot? Am I not? Go ahead, you can say:
17. What is my favorite food:
18. Have you ever talked about me behind my back:
19. Am I dating anyone:
20. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

21. What's your favorite memory of me:
22. Who do I like right now:
23. What is my worst habit:
24. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring:
25. Are we friends:

26. What is something fun you remember us doing together:
27. Do I believe in God:
28. Am I family oriented:
29. Do I have children:
30. Do I have siblings:

31. Am I successful:
32. what's my favorite movie:
33. Who is my best friend:
34. What kind of car do I drive:

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 11:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Testing the system

This is a test of the Emergency Tommycast system. Thanks Chris! If it works let me know, if you have problems with it let me know, if it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard? Keep that to yourself. Okay? Okay! Bu-bye!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 7:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

All I'm asking is ... if you have to wash the dishes BEFORE putting them in the dishwasher, what's the fucking point? Can somebody please explain that to me?

Edit: I understand what you guys are saying about rinsing. I didn't make myself clear. I either have to wash them (more than a rinse but without soap) before I put them in, or end up washing them AGAIN when they come out. Half of them are spotless the other half look like they haven't been touched. It baffles me.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 8:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Character

Patriotic

Cruising

More on Flickr if you care to see.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 2:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The reason I am here after saying what I said in the last post is because I was tagged by Tequila girl. Here's the deal:
This is how it works: Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you". In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.Here goes my 6: (in no specific order)

1. Whenever the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play I have a routine I go through in order to get ready to watch the game. I lay out a Buccaneers T-shirt and my Jersey on the bed, put on the T-shirt and rub the logo, Put on the jersey, touch the logo and all the patches and then put my Buccaneers "Mardi Gras" logo necklace on. All throughout the game, I rub the necklace for luck. In the past 20 years it has worked once.
2. I used to lay in bed on Sundays and read the paper, every word, from front to back as I ate my breakfast and watched "This week with George Stephanopoulis," "Meet the Press" and "Fox News Sunday." Then I'd turn it over to Fox's NFL Sunday show while dressing for the game.
3. I'm happier in the kitchen cooking than anywhere else and doing anything else in my life with the exception of photography. Even though I only eat one meal a day most days, I could cook for armies. Also, even though I am a damned good cook, I rarely eat my own product. I just like getting lost in the processes of cooking and shooting pics. It calms me somehow and makes the rest of the world disappear while I'm doing it.
4. I have a huge DirectTV package including HBO and Stars. I also have extended basic cable but my TV very rarely leaves the Food Network.
5. I would rather be off by myself than with other people. I don't enjoy company or being around others much and have more online friends than I have in real life. If I didn't have to celebrate the holidays and be around cheerful happy people ever again? I'd be a very happy man. I know others think that is not healthy, but fuck it ... it works for me.
6. During the holidays I could survive on Ritz crackers stacked with sliced cheese, bread and butter pickle chunks and smoked oysters with black and green olives on the side ... oh and cream cheese with pepper jelly too. Yum.
Not tagging anyone. Tag yourselves if you want ... or not ... whatever.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Have a peaceful weekend

It's Friday, December 1, 2006 but you know that because it says so right above this post! Where the fuck has this year gone? Hang on. Before you start rolling your eyes and muttering "Here we go again," this is not a whiney post. I am not pissed off, depressed, Having "a day" or anything else. I'm just kinda vanilla today. It's been a hell of a week. I don't really know why. It hasn't been any harder or worse than any other week on record, but for some reason I am whipped. I mean I'm fucking tired ya'll. I feel like I just dug a ditch the size of the Grand Canyon! Like I've really been busting my ass, but I haven't. I don't know what's got me so worn out. I'm probably not going to be around a lot this weekend, at least not on the computer. I'm gonna take some time to recharge the batteries. Nothing personal and no personal crisis ... I just want to spend some time by myself. Get some rest and relaxation, you know? I've noticed lately that as I'm driving along, in my head, I'm framing pictures of the scenery I'm driving through. I'm visualizing pictures I'd like to take. As a result, I have a ton of shots in mind I want to capture. I think me and my two best friends (that would be my cameras) will hit the road and see if we can't bag some of them. I have a spot that is a perfect place to watch the sun go down. I really want to get a series of shots of our beautiful Louisiana sunsets so maybe I'll spend an hour just sitting and snapping until I get the perfect one. I think I might take a book along too, just in case I get bored. *wink* Shit I'm fucking losing it! Why do you give a fuck about the intricacies of my plans this weekend? You don't unless you're that chick that's been stalking me for the past nine months! (told you I was losing it. A chick stalking me? It is to laugh!) I just want to say, in case I don't see you online this weekend or talk to you on the phone, I hope yours is a good one. Take some time to smell the roses or build a snowman ... or get laid. Whatever! I'll see you on the other side of it. Peace ya'll. I love you guys and gals lots. Talk atcha later.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 8:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)