**

The Duke looks up at the sundial and, because it was still night, had no fucking clue what had happened. "Milady, I know not what happened!" said the Duke boldly stating the fucking obvious. Luckily, the Knights of the Oblong Coffee Table, where the Duke fills the royal coffers from, owed his highness several days of comp time.See, the duke had been a busy monarch working much overtime breaking in scullery wenches, er royal stallions. Hey ruling a fucking country is hard work you know!
Being brave and intrepid, (and delerious from lack of sleep,) our hero decided to call one of the markers in and stay at home that day, thus saving the Knights and ladies of the court from the demon that was bound to possess the Duke as the day wore on, making him more irritable than a chocolate-less Dutchess during that special time of the month when her body syncs with the moon and she spends a week in the Hamlet of Mensturia, ensconced in the red tent.
The brave Duke spent the rest of the day casting bones, calling on Marlon, Merlin's younger, less experienced, clumsier brother (or third cousin, twice removed, I'm not sure which) to cast a spell which would allow the Duke to conquer the Demon of Upgradia and retire to get some well deserved rest while the Bard of Pornia, travels hither and yon throughout the kingdom singing the praises of the brave, virile Duke.
Finally, the Duke prevailed and defeated the Demon of Upgradia (no thanks to that fucking lout Marlon. Off with HIS head too ... numb nutz!) but alas, the sun had tracked it's course in the sky and was rapidly racing toward the western horizon preparing to turn over the Sceptre of Stars to his Sister, Bayou Moon.
And yet? The victory was Pyhrric one as the shit still didn't work right! "Fuck, Fuck,Fuck!" said the Duke as he slipped in and out of consciousness and gave up the ghost for the night, praying that the Gods would smile on him and only lock up comments from posts previous to that day's, whilst allowing them from that post forward. Yeah, the Duke could live with that.
Alas and forsooth, only time would tell ... time the Duke decided was best put to use documenting the day's adventure for future historians to plot strategy should the Demon of Upgradia ever again rear it's ugly head in the duchy. Let history show that his highness the King of the Keyboard (as long as spelling don't count) installed the demonseed code four times and the shit still ain't working right ... And? The fucking Duke still ain't been to bed. Can you say "Tommy's a fucking moron?" I knew you could ... now off with your fucking head twit!
In other news, the young son of the Duke (the Duck?) had an eye appointment today. About ten years ago he was diagnosed with a hole in his retina right where the images focus meaning he was down to one eye. Luckily, surgery can repair that particular defect. Unfortunately, he was seven years old or so. He had the surgery and in order to heal properly, had to lay face down for about a week while the wound healed. Constantly .. no running ... no playing ... did I mention he was fucking seven? Yeah. I thought so. Oh you think so? Tell you what! You try and get a fucking seven year old to sit still for a week. Shit, I'd rather herd cats or face castration with a white hot poker. Honestly? We did our best but I guess it wasn't good enough.
He failed his last school eye exam and they told him to go see an optometrist. He had the appointment today. He has a cataract in the bad eye (the same one he had surgery on) and some swelling behind the retina. FUCK Wanna know the funnest part? We just sent the final payment that paid the first surgery off TODAY! God has a terrific sense of humor, don'tcha think? Yeah ... me too. Wish us luck. Now the Duke is gonna hit the Royal Chambers and catch up on some of his Royal beauty rest ... oh and his sword may need polishing too, Any volunteers? Just askin!