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November 30, 2006

HNT and a contest ...

I know, I know. I have been a true slacker the past couple of days but I have a good excuse ... or at least it works for me and that's really all that matters. So phbtttttt. Seriously, if you will notice the calendar near the bottom of my sidebar ... go ahead and look, I'll wait.
Back? Good. All those red dates from Nov. 4? They are days I posted. I was doing my damndest to make it a full month posting something everyday. (Hence the lame "Me so horneee" post Tuesday. Sorry, he sheepishly says) but fell a couple of days short.
Now, not only was today layout day which is a bitch as a universal constant, (we didn't get done until about 6 p.m.) I was also trying to get a bunch of photos ready for the 2006 Army Photo Contest. Today was the deadline and well being the president, CEO, CFO, secretary, treasurer and janitor of Procrastination Inc., you KNOW I waited until the last possible second to get the shit together.
Did I mention today was the deadline? Yeah ... so in between layout and corrections and all the other shit that newspaper production entails, I'm busting a hump filling out entry forms, sizing and saving pictures, putting them on disc and coming up with a way to tell my boss I have to go turn them in. (ie: leave the office on the busiest day of the week.) The place closes at 4:30 p.m. and I walked in with my package about, oh 4:25? Yeah ... I'm the king ... or the Duke actually. Anyway, my point is I was busy but it's still Thursday and I can get something up. Here you go:

Filming Ollie

Look at the LEGS on that mother fucker!


This is me ... what? You don't see me? Behind the camera there ... the sexy mo-fo with the long blond hair .. yeah! That one ... that's me! God ... look at the gut sticking out from under that shirt! Bleh!
Anyway, at that time I was a news photographer for the NBC affiliate in Lake Charles, LA. Ollie North came to town to give a speech for some shit and hawk his latest book. I mean it was amazing ... Mr. Fucking Iran Contra ... right there! And the reporter I was there with? She just softballed his ass. I mean WTF? If you got someone like that there, fucking find out what the fuck he was thinking! I mean this dude fucked congress up the ass and lived to tell the tale! With Immunity! And if you're gonna get star struck? Reporter is probably not the line of work you wanna be in, unless you wanna report for Entertainment Tonight or some schlock like that.
Anyway, I know it's kinda lame but it's what I got. HHNT everybody. Go see Os. He has a buttload more people that have much sexier pics than this. And me? I'm gonna go get nekkid and surf some porn ... or make some. Wanna join me?

November 28, 2006

Public service announcement ...

horny toad

Me love you long time!

Me so Hornee. Just sayin'!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

November 27, 2006

What a freaking day ...

Man, I tell you what, it has been a hell of a day. It started about two o'clock in the morning as I was trying to put in a spam blocker to eliminate the nine gazillion spam comments on old posts. I installed it and it just wasn't working right. So I uninstalled it and cleaned up my mess. The son of a bitch STILL wasn't working right! Well, Brilliant mind and hot shot computer guru that I am, I figure "Tommy, why don't you just install the update to your publishing platform and that should overwrite any corrupt file that's fucking with your system." Sounds like a plan, right? Shit! Have you forgotten?
You're talking about Sir Thomas of Gunn, Grand Duke of the Land of Pornia here, you know the guy with the luck of someone who spends his life in a room full of black cats, walking under ladders and stepping on cracks just so he can break a thousand mirrors or so! You know, the guy that could fuck up a wet dream just by entering the room? Yeah that guy! (Okay it wasn't quite that bad, but almost.)
So I start the upgrade but instead of doing it the easy way, I did it in the most convoluted, bass ackwards way I could come up with. I get done installing it and realize I might have fucked part of it up and there is a better and easier way it could have been done. Luckily, the same guy with the bad luck also has the patience of Job and the tenacity of a pit bull on a bender when it comes to computer problems. (And it doesn't hurt that he's also a hopeless insomniac!) Bravely, our handsome (and well endowed) Duke sallies forth into the belly of the beast armed only with a fairly reliable FTP client and his wits. What's that you say? Oh, yes, our hero went into battle half armed. (Har de fucking har har. No! I've never heard THAT one before ... fucking asshat ... off with his head!)
About five o' the clock in the early morning hours, the soon-to-be-former Dutchess of Pornia sashays from the refrigerator, formerly known as the love nest, into the throne room looking for her coffee. Her highness is startled at the sight of a nude, wild eyed Duke muttering slurred profanities and hurling threats at his faithful companion, Sir Hewlett of Packard, Earl of Laptop. "Forsooth!" says the Dutchess, her dulcet tones echoing off the ceiling and scaring a pack of vultures gathering on the portico in anticipation of the Duke's imminent demise. Her ladyship continued, showing tender concern for the health of her liege and partner of 21 years. "Is you outta yo muther fucking mind? Don't you know you gotta be to work in about two fucking hours? Fucking moron! You been smoking that dragon crack again fucktard?"

The Duke looks up at the sundial and, because it was still night, had no fucking clue what had happened. "Milady, I know not what happened!" said the Duke boldly stating the fucking obvious. Luckily, the Knights of the Oblong Coffee Table, where the Duke fills the royal coffers from, owed his highness several days of comp time.See, the duke had been a busy monarch working much overtime breaking in scullery wenches, er royal stallions. Hey ruling a fucking country is hard work you know!
Being brave and intrepid, (and delerious from lack of sleep,) our hero decided to call one of the markers in and stay at home that day, thus saving the Knights and ladies of the court from the demon that was bound to possess the Duke as the day wore on, making him more irritable than a chocolate-less Dutchess during that special time of the month when her body syncs with the moon and she spends a week in the Hamlet of Mensturia, ensconced in the red tent.
The brave Duke spent the rest of the day casting bones, calling on Marlon, Merlin's younger, less experienced, clumsier brother (or third cousin, twice removed, I'm not sure which) to cast a spell which would allow the Duke to conquer the Demon of Upgradia and retire to get some well deserved rest while the Bard of Pornia, travels hither and yon throughout the kingdom singing the praises of the brave, virile Duke.
Finally, the Duke prevailed and defeated the Demon of Upgradia (no thanks to that fucking lout Marlon. Off with HIS head too ... numb nutz!) but alas, the sun had tracked it's course in the sky and was rapidly racing toward the western horizon preparing to turn over the Sceptre of Stars to his Sister, Bayou Moon.
And yet? The victory was Pyhrric one as the shit still didn't work right! "Fuck, Fuck,Fuck!" said the Duke as he slipped in and out of consciousness and gave up the ghost for the night, praying that the Gods would smile on him and only lock up comments from posts previous to that day's, whilst allowing them from that post forward. Yeah, the Duke could live with that.
Alas and forsooth, only time would tell ... time the Duke decided was best put to use documenting the day's adventure for future historians to plot strategy should the Demon of Upgradia ever again rear it's ugly head in the duchy. Let history show that his highness the King of the Keyboard (as long as spelling don't count) installed the demonseed code four times and the shit still ain't working right ... And? The fucking Duke still ain't been to bed. Can you say "Tommy's a fucking moron?" I knew you could ... now off with your fucking head twit!
In other news, the young son of the Duke (the Duck?) had an eye appointment today. About ten years ago he was diagnosed with a hole in his retina right where the images focus meaning he was down to one eye. Luckily, surgery can repair that particular defect. Unfortunately, he was seven years old or so. He had the surgery and in order to heal properly, had to lay face down for about a week while the wound healed. Constantly .. no running ... no playing ... did I mention he was fucking seven? Yeah. I thought so. Oh you think so? Tell you what! You try and get a fucking seven year old to sit still for a week. Shit, I'd rather herd cats or face castration with a white hot poker. Honestly? We did our best but I guess it wasn't good enough.
He failed his last school eye exam and they told him to go see an optometrist. He had the appointment today. He has a cataract in the bad eye (the same one he had surgery on) and some swelling behind the retina. FUCK Wanna know the funnest part? We just sent the final payment that paid the first surgery off TODAY! God has a terrific sense of humor, don'tcha think? Yeah ... me too. Wish us luck. Now the Duke is gonna hit the Royal Chambers and catch up on some of his Royal beauty rest ... oh and his sword may need polishing too, Any volunteers? Just askin!

WOW! What happened?

I have upgraded my publishing platform and now it won't let anybody comment on my posts. **pout** I am working on the problem and hope to have it fixed before too much longer. Wish me luck!

Edit: Ok it looks like the only things locked out are the posts prior to the upgrade. I'm gonna keep working on it but what ever. As long as the new posts allow comments, that's good enough. Plus it will prevent the 150 spam comments I got within a five minute period the other day. UGH! Hope your week goes well. Laters.

November 26, 2006

My son ... the groupie ...

My sister lives in Houston. She loves my kids so when they called her a couple of months ago and asked if she could get tickets to the All American Rejects concert, she agreed. She came down for Thanksgiving and took them back with her Friday just in time to make the concert Friday night.
They went to the concert and apparently had a blast. They got back today with cups, programs, jackets ... and a left shoe. That's right ... I said a (single) left-hand, cocoa brown, white and cream colored shoe that they didn't leave with and didn't belong to them until Friday night.

THE shoe!

Hey! It's somebody's brand new Nike tennis shoe!

The concert was at the Reliant Center and was general admission so Ryan and them made their way to the front of the stage. According to all accounts, a good time was had by all.
You know how some drummers throw their drumsticks to the audience during the concert? Guitar players do the same thing with their picks. It's nice ... gives the fans sitting close a little lagniappe. Lagniappe is Cajun for "a little something extra."
It seems the lead singer for the All American Rejects is a guy named Tyson Ritter and Tyson has his own way of giving a little lagniappe ... at the end of the concert, he throws his shoes into the audience.
Yep, you guessed it. My son, who's life I entrusted to my sister, got down in the mud, the blood and the beer and came home with the shoe. It cost him a cut finger and a fat lip but by God, he got it!

Ryan with shoe

*sniff* I'm so proud!


Maybe I should get him an agent for the book and "movie of the week" deals that are bound to be just around the corner. Can anybody say "Ebay here I come?" I wonder if it's too late to get it signed?
edit: We have decided upon further reflection to engage the services of a lawyer and sue the band, the Reliant Center and my sister for endangering the life of a minor with willful disregard, emotional trauma, psychological distress, medical fees for the horrific injuries received during said melee and punitive damages to teach them all a lesson. Pffft. Who needs Ebay!

November 25, 2006

Giving props ...

Wow ... is my face red! I predicted for HNT that McNeese State would beat the Montana Griz in the first round of the Division 1 college football playoffs. I did my HNT in support of my alma mater but apparently they don't think I'm the least bit sexy because they went to Montana and promptly got their asses handed to them on a plate.
The final score was 31-6 with McNeese's only scores coming as a result of a pair of first half field goals. There was one bit of excitement during the game ... a Griz receiver went out for a pass and when he came down, put his hand down to break his fall. His forearm snapped in half a la Joe Theisman's leg. It was horrific! The young man was able to get up and walk off the field after his arm was immobilized so that's good news but DAYUMN! That had to hurt. So Os, Moose, Rachel and all the rest of the Montana Mafia, congratulations. The best team truly won and I wish you luck as you progress toward the championship. Just wait until next year though.
You know I couldn't go without posting a few more pics either didn't ya? If you are getting tired of them just say so and I'll listen and do it anyway. My smart assed son was bragging that triptophan only affected old people on Thanksgiving. He was under the impression that young people had more energy and therefore were less succeptible to the siren song of the after dinner nap.

Ryan passes out

Zzzzzzzzzzz! Snoorrrk!


This was about two minutes after he put his plate in the kitchen. HA! Punk Ass Kid!
Here are a few more I took while at the parent's abode for Thanksgiving day.

reflection

Forest reflected in glass


Blair Witch Tommy

Blair Witch Tommy says "I see dead people!"


Gear sprocket

Gear sprocket with chain


As always there are more on Flickr. If you can't find them drop me a line and I'll walk you to them or you could just click here I guess.
So there you have it. That was my Saturday but now Giada DeLaurentiis and Mario Batali are talking about Italian Christmas so I gotta go. I mean Mario is a great chef and all, but have you seen the rack on Giada? JAYSUS! Ooops, she just bent over ... Bye!

November 24, 2006

Meet the family Friday ...

Brother, sister and me

Meet my brother Kevin (middle child), my sister Alisa (the baby) and me (oldest and wisest)!

It's Friday and I'm still recovering from yesterday. I was up until 5 a.m. this morning doing some work ... Okay, I was fucking around on the computer and lost track of time ... shaddup! In any case I did tweak my template and got some things done that I had been thinking about for a while.
Most of you will notice no difference at all, but they make me happy. I also replaced my header. I don't know what to think of it. I guess I'm pretty happy with it but I don't know if it will stay long because I have some other ideas in mind. We'll see.
I have a ton of pictures to work on so I'll keep this short. The kids are gone this weekend. My sister took them back to Houston for the All American Rejects concert tonight, the STBX is working so that leaves me to my own devices tonight. I think I'll just kick back and relax a bit.
My dad is a packrat. He keeps everything and the back yard of the house shows it. There are old cars he bought and never got around to fixing, a million old lawnmowers, shit he's scavenged through the years for this project or the other ... and the first bike I ever bought myself. It was a Peugeot racing bike and I bought it with money I earned from a paper route delivering the Anchorage Times. I found it in the weeds yesterday and broke out the macro lens. I know you're getting tired of this shit but it's the phase I'm in right now. Better that than whining about how much life sucks, right? I agree so here are a couple to start off with.

branches and seat

rusty chain

Now go away. I gotta get back to work ... or sleep, whatever.

November 23, 2006

Thankful some more ...

blue eye

Oh man, am I freaking miserable! This kinda pisses me off. I had one single plate for dinner tonight. That plate consisted of dressing, mashed potatoes, lima beans, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce. It was a small plate but I am still stuffed and miserable nine hours later! I didn't even eat any turkey or ham ya'll! WTF is wrong with me? Oh well, it's all over but the bellyache now I suppose. The important thing is I spent a wonderful day with my family and had a great time. I have a point and shoot camera that I am sooooo thankful for. Remember? It's the one I researched with Beth, went over the options and then bought what she told me to? Yeah, that one. It's a Sony Cybershot DSC P200. I also bought the adapter and the wide conversion lens. I love, Love, LOVE this camera! While I was over at mom and dad's getting stuffed better than the turkey was, I took about 150 pics. Now they all aren't great shots but I think there are a few in there. I am going to be photoshopping them this weekend and posting them on Flickr. Here is just one of them.

my eye

I am very thankful for my camera and the pictures I am able to capture with it. I hope you got as miserable as I did today and that it was a good day for you. I need to get to bed now ... I'm miserable from the food ... or hadn't you heard? Oh and Black Friday? If you take part you are a braver man than I am Charlie Brown. I think I'll continue my usual tradition of doing all my shopping the weekend before Christmas and take my chances then. I mean everybody loves a Summer Sausage gift basket from 7-11, right? Happy Thanksgiving. I'll be back tomorrow with more pics to share. (God I'm such a girl!)

Thanksgiving HNT so Cowboy Up!

Today is Thanksgiving Day. Wanna know what I'm Thankful for? Read the post below this one. That's not all, but it's a good start.
I am also thankful that at the ripe old age of 40, I graduated college. I have the distinction of being the first member of my family ever to achieve that honor and it makes me proud to have done so. I started at McNeese State University in Lake Charles, LA in the fall of 1996. I was 34. Okay, so I was on the seven year plan but damn it, I did it and that's all that counts. I brought my G.P.A. up from a 0.76 to a 2.85 (that's a whole other post) by the time I walked the aisle. No mean feat if I do say so myself.
I always loved going to the football games and we had some pretty good teams through the years. I lived so close to the stadium that on those days we didn't go, I could sit on my porch drinking beer, listening to the game on the radio and hear the crowd noise and cannons blast every time the Cowboys scored. I can hear you asking yourself: "Okay Tommy, I get the thankful part, but what the hell does that have to do with HNT?" Sheesh! I'm getting to that. Patience Grasshoppers!
This year was a tough year for the Pokes. Tough as in extremely competitive but they cowboy'd up despite a controversial coaching shakeup a few games into the season. Last week the McNeese Cowboys were crowned the champions of the Southland Conference. This Saturday, the Cowboys travel to Montana to take on our favorite HNT daddy's favorite team. That's right, my McNeese Cowboys face off against Osbasso's Montana Griz in the first round of the playoffs. Now what's a brother to do? Show his colors of course. So I present ...

Happy HNT

HNT the Cowboy Up! version


Go Pokes and take it to the Griz! Oh and if you clicky, clicky, you might just get a surprise. Go ahead! It's SFW. Really!
I've also told you guys on various occasions that I was a bit of a freak. I used to have dyed blond hair down below my shoulders. During that period, I also was quite the piercing freak. Not a brave one, but I always believed quantity made up for not having the balls to pierce someplace like ... well, my balls for instance. I did have four ... in one ear ... and still do ... see?

earrings

How's this for a "two fer?" The boy got holes in his head!


I would have gotten another in the same ear but mom dad and the spousal unit convinced me that four was probably enough. Why did I listen to them? I have no answer. God I am such a rebel!
So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. HHNT and Happy Thanksgiving all. Hope yours is as great as mine will be ... I hope. Wanna get in on the fun? Go see a real winner (even though he's gonna be on the losing side of this football pick. I **gulp** hope.) and lets get Nekkid and give thanks ya'll! Oh yeah, I'm also thankful for boobies ... and asses ... and women in general. Just sayin.

November 22, 2006

Thankful ...

Sunset

Happy Thanksgiving

I am Thankful for friends. New friends, old friends, friends that offer unconditional love and support. Thank you so much, you know who you are. I am thankful for family. My brother and sister are coming in today and this will be the first time the whole family has been together for the holidays in several years. I thank the gods I don't believe in for allowing that to happen. I am thankful for my children and, yes, even my wife. She is their mother, I am their father, we have been married coming up on 22 years and we will always have that connection in common no matter what happens to us. My kids are my life. I just wish I had been a better father to them as they were growing up. In spite of my failings as a parent, they turned out to be well behaved, well mannered, independent young men. For that I am thankful. I am thankful for love. Love found, love fought over, love lost and love growing. Love makes me feel alive and I am thankful to have known it in the past year. I am thankful for my job. It's a career with a good future ahead of me. I work with some really great people doing important work. Sometimes I forget that and for that I am ashamed. I am thankful for the Soldiers whose stories I tell. For those serving in a cold desert far from family or on a lonely guard post looking into North Korea. They serve for an ideal they believe is worth their lives .. freedom. Thank you for your service I am thankful for my parents. Over the years we have had our differences. I have broken their hearts. But they have always been there every time I needed anything, be it $1,000 or an encouraging word. Thank you mom and dad. I am thankful to be living in the greatest nation on the face of the planet. We squabble, we infight and backbite. We have our problems, but even our poor have a better life than those in 99% of the world. Thank you America for continuing to be the land of opportunity. I know I have been down and morose, bellicose and a general downer lately, but I am thankful today for life. For the ability to get up in the morning and go to work. For health and bountiful plenty. For the ability to feel joy and pain and know that as long as I feel them, I am alive and able to fight another day. It's good to be alive. I am truly thankful today. How about you? Happy Thanksgiving everybody ... with all my love. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going over to mom's and help her with the baking. We got folks coming over!

November 21, 2006

I have been swept away ...

Alright, enough with the wah-wah shit. I told you I subscribe to bloglines. (You should really check it out) Not only can you subscribe to feeds of your favorite blogs (like mine for instance) but they have a shit pile of other sites that you can subscribe to. I subscribe to Darkgate Comic Slurper. It is a site that has about a bazillion comics listed. You can choose as many comics from the list as you want and they will gather all of them daily and deliver them to one spot for easy perusal. It's fucking awesome ya'll! There are a lot of comics I have never heard of and even some adult comics. So I picked out a few that sounded cool to me just to see what they are all about. I think I hit the jackpot. Check this one out:

Loserz pt. 1


Loserz pt. 2

HAHAHAHAHA! I love it!


On top of that, I was doing man-on-the-street interviews today and met a woman named ... are you ready ...
....
....
Winter Coates ...
I swear to God I did. Made my mother fucking day ya'll.
***
***
Well, it did damn it!

Alive ...

I'm alive and still sober. Look, I don't know what's going on with me. I know the medicine I was taking seemed to be working but I guess it's not ... or at least not like I need it too. I'm depressed, I get angry at the drop of a hat. A look, a perceived slight, I mean anything that happens sets me down that fucking road to self-pitysville and I'm not used to that. I'm the life of the party, the guy that always sees the glass half full, the guy with the easy smile and belly laugh. But it seems that guy went AWOL. I haven't seen him for a couple of months and you can only fake it for so long. (Ever seen "Weekend at Bernies"?)
I was really looking forward to getting some recovery-type shit started with that appointment yesterday and when they canceled it that started the ball rolling. The rest of the day went downhill from that point. I am (internally) on the defensive on a lot of fronts these days and under a great deal of pressure. I brood, obsess, over analyze and generally drive myself fucking nuts. Sometimes shit just gets into my head and grows and grows until I feel it leaking out my ears and nose. I'm also dealing with the demise of two relationships. One of which absolutely decimated me. I feel like a knife has been shoved in my guts and they are spilling out all over my shoes. Sometimes thinking about that makes me want to fucking just give up. I mean, really? What's the point.
Most of the time, I feel I don't have anyplace to turn, anyone to talk to or anyway to get rid of these feelings and that just adds to the depression. I know friends tire of it. I mean seriously, who wants to continually hear about my problems? I doubt I'd be stopping by, IMing or reading me either if I were subjected to the pile of shit that seems to rule my conversations and waking thoughts right now. I know what I have to do. I have to nut up, grow up and get the fuck over it. I'm trying but it isn't easy. Apparently I'm not as strong as I thought I was. "Welcome to being grown ups," right?
I don't mean to scare or worry anybody. I'm not gonna drink or hurt myself. I don't mean to depress you or run you off either. I appreciate those that did contact me and offered their concern, advice and encouragement. You'll never really understand what that means to me. Thank you.
This shit storm, too shall pass and one day I'll be better. Until then you should probably stay away or buckle up cause it could be a fairly bi-polar ride. Just giving you fair warning.

road kill raccoon

Just feeling like roadkill ... mmmmm gumbo!

November 20, 2006

Cancelled and rescheduled ...

I called to get directions to my doctor's appointment this morning (it's in another city about an hour or so drive from here.) I get ahold of the receptionist and tell her my name and who my appointment is with. Before I can get to the directions part, she informs me that doctor fucking Freud will not be coming in today. She's sorry, but they tried to call me on my cell phone to tell me about it, unfortunately the cell was not accepting phone calls. Don't even ask me about that. Suffice it to say that I was a drunk at one time who couldn't be trusted with a debit/credit card or the checkbook. Alternate monetary arrangements were made, arrangements I thought would be fine even through the divorce. I was wrong and am paying for it. Sorry, I know. Way TMI but fuck it, I'm pissed.
The earliest Dr. Freudenstein could reschedule me was late January. I don't know if I'm gonna make it through the holidays. I feel like my fucking head is gonna explode like Gene Simmons' in "To Live and Die in LA." I was really looking forward to this appointment and just feel like the bottom has fallen out. I'm barely hanging on. I feel like Beetle fucking Baily hanging off the cliff holding on to that thin, weak-assed little branch. I have taken Wednesday through Nov. 26 off and may not be around much. I haven't decided. I seriously just wanna throw in the fucking towel ya'll. I just need to get the fuck away.
Oh, and apparently on top of everything else, I'm not a shameless, hard core flirt. I'm a lying, manipulative, skirt chasing whore without an ounce of moral fortitude in my body. Just thought you might like to know before you decide to get close. I'm tired. I'm going for a long drive. See ya whenever.

berries with mask

Fuck it

November 19, 2006

More random Sunday crap ...

Want some?

Bring it ...
stolen from here

Today? I'm waiting on a pina colada cheesecake to cool. One can of crushed pineapple and a cup of shredded coconut added with coconut sprinkled on top. MMMMM. There was something else I was going to blog about but I'll be damned if I can remember what it was. I really need to start writing shit down.
On the positive side, I slept in a bit today and then walked around the house stark raving ass naked until about 2 p.m. It was freaking glorious! You should try it sometime.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that I am a little nervous about. Some of you know what it is and will understand. The rest of you please just send good thoughts. It isn't life threatening or anything but it's enough to worry me a bit. I may or may not talk about it here as it is pretty personal and not something I'm dying to stand on the mountaintop and shout to the world.
Finally on this week of Thanksgiving, I want to tell you, my readers and friends, thank you. You all mean the world to me (yes, even you lurkers. I see you out there. Why don't you come out of the closet and say "Hi?" I don't bite ... unless you're into that kind of thing) and I appreciate you on levels you will never know about. Thanks for making me a part of your life. Hope your week goes well and wish me luck.

Clowns

I hate clowns!
again, stolen from here


November 18, 2006

Kids, the F-bomb, apathy and the camera ...

First off, I had to work today. Really? That's not a bad thing. I had to take a few pictures and do a couple of segments for T.V. Easy money.
I wanted to be at work by about 10:30 a.m. My youngest son, who is spending the night with grandma (and knows when I want to leave), has gone to breakfast with his GF. She conveniently doesn't answer her phone or check her messages as we are trying to get hold of him. Parents are getting more pissed as time rolls on.
They drag their asses back into the house about 11. Between the pissiness and all, we get loaded up and on the road. I'm talking to him, or trying to, about what's going on at the house, reassuring him that even though his mom and I may get pissy at each other, we shouldn't take it out on them. Apologizing for doing so. He's having a tough time with the divorce and the uncertainty I think. As were talking, I notice he's chewing his fingernails. THEY LOOK HORRIBLE. Take a look.

Chewed to the quick!

All together now .. IEW!


I mention that he has fingers like his uncle and grandma who used to gnaw their fingernails halfway up the nail bed. It was disgusting! He calmly looks over at me and says "No. It's a fucking hangnail!" I was so shocked all I could do was laugh about it. Here is the offending nail.

Hangnail

Ok! Double IEW!


Like I always say, at least he ain't doing the same shit I was doing when I was his age. I can take the occasional accidental F-bomb as a trade off for that.
edit: I take that back. I just found a pack of MY cigarettes and a lighter in his jacket. I guess we have some more talking to do. Wish me luck.

When I woke up this morning, the STBX was on the phone with her boyfriend. I went into the bathroom to get a towel for a shower. When I came back out, she saw me and the next thing I know she's off the phone and puttering around the house. She had to work tonight too. I would think that she would have mentioned it to him but apparently I was wrong. I answered the phone at about 8 p.m. and it was him asking for her. I told him she worked till 11 p.m. (that is her regular shift and she talks to him every night after work until about 1 a.m. which is no biggie) to which he replied that it was Saturday and he didn't think she worked. I told him again she had to work today. He must have thought I was one of the kids or he's got balls the size of Ohio. He started asking me how I was doing and making a little small talk like nothing was wrong. I almost laughed in his ear. My question is to all the divorcees out there. Is that when you really know it's over? When your significant other's new boyfriend calls and you don't feel anything but amusement? Cuz really? That's all I felt. Is that strange or weird? I dunno, but it's where I'm at right now and I'm pretty happy about that. If he wants her and she wants him, more power to them.
Finally I got to spend a little quality time with my camera today. Here are a couple of the pics I took.

Country barn


Old typewriter keys


Faces in hole


The first is an old country barn I found. The second is the keys of an ancient typewriter I found in my dad's shop and the third is me and Mr. F-bomb taken through a souvenir megaphone. The mouthpiece fits perfectly around my lens. If you like there are more on Flikr. Hope your weekend is going well. Till tomorrow, peace out.

November 17, 2006

My belly laugh for today ...

So I'm covering a story on a unit going through urban training today. These guys and gals are having to move from a start point to a two story building with a basement. They have to move like they are in combat ... you know, stealthy. When they get to the building they come under fire and their task is to then enter the building, kill the bad guys without getting killed and rescue any civilians or hostages they find inside.
They use a laser tag type setup to do this safely. Spread throughout the building, there are live opposing forces with guns and mannequins. The dummies have been dressed up, some as terrorists and some as civilians. They have also been equipped with these laser sensors. That lets Soldiers know if they screw up and kill a friendly target. Hey better to learn and practice here than in a real live situation, right? Now keep in mind. It's Soldiers that set the dummies up and wire them to work. Here's one of the dummies that was in the building the squad I was embedded with had to clear.

Dummy flipping bird

FUCK YOU G.I. Allah Akbar!

Now who says Soldiers don't have a sense of humor? Happy Friday and have a good weekend. I've had all I can take today and am heading to the house. Peace out!

Why's it gotta be so ...

Wild Flowers

Complicated

by Carolyn Dawn Johnson

I'm so scared that the way I feel,
Is written all over my face.
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug,
the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contradiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you.

So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again, I don't. It's so complicated.

Oh..just when I think I'm under control.
I think I finally got a grip.
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend,
they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me
from the corner of your eye.
Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd be losing,
if your answer wasn't yes.

So complicated I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel.
Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated.

Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited.
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do.
Oh should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
I want you to know,but then again I don't.
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated.
Ohh..

November 16, 2006

I have no clue ...

Man, I must be losing my fucking mind today. You ever have those days when you can't remember ... now what the fuck was I gonna say?

Screw in wood

Mine is loose. How's yours?


November 15, 2006

HNT ... the piggish calf edition

First off, let me brag a little bit. I look at the calendar on my sidebar and notice that I have posted every day since Nov. 4. I am proud of myself. So there. If you want to be notified on a daily basis when I post some new bit of universe-explaining, enlightening or frightfully funny pearls of wisdom, put your e-mail in the box in the sidebar (the one in the box titled "Follow the Gunn") and as if by magic, you will know the minute the magic leaves my fingertips.
Now for HNT. I have a pretty poor self image when it comes to my body. I never really liked it. I thought I was fat (I was) and just generally unattractive. I started weight lifting when I was about 12 years old and laid a foundation for a pretty good body, but laziness took hold and I never really finished up. One thing I have liked about my body (one of the only things) are my legs. I do a lot of walking and, as a news photographer, most of the time I was carrying about 70 pounds worth of shit when I did. I love my calves...

My calves

I Like 'Em!


I also love my thighs and my forearms. Unfortunately, the pictures of them turned out like shit so this is what you get. HHNT everybody.

***
***
***
What? You want more? Damn! Well don't say I never go out of my way to please you people. OK. The only thing I ever wanted to be in life was a singer or an actor. I sing well (or used to) and really loved acting. I went out for a bunch of plays throughout my life and in about 75% of them, I got the lead. Unfortunately, I let my parents convince me that acting and singing were worthless pursuits. "Get a real job," they told me and "Work on that in your spare time." I listened and put away my dreams but the other day I was going through some pics and found this ...

Wilbur, Templeton and Charlotte

"Charlottes Web" staring Tommy Gunn as Wilbur


Yeah, I'm the guy in pink with the cute hat. This was the first play I ever went out for and the picture was taken during full dress rehearsal (even though the set wasn't completed yet.) As an aside, this was in Alaska and the girl that played Charlotte won the Miss Teen America pagent that year. She was fucking HOT. Leslie Griffiths, 1976-77. Hummina! See? I've always been a pig! Now go check out the other people's nekkidness. I'm sure they are much prettier than I am. Wanna play? Go see Os, the great and terrible (but I hear he really isn't that terrible once you get to know him) and you might find a different side of the pig here. HHNT everybody and have a great Thursday!

Oh the HUMANITY!

guy sleeping

Shhhhhhh! Man at Work.

So I got this important training this afternoon from 1-4 p.m. It's very important and I have been practicing all night to be able to pay attention properly. Wish me luck and don't do anything I wouldn't while I'm gone. Hey! Your tax dollars at work!

November 14, 2006

What's in YOUR office?

I was surfing the other day and came to Lee Ann's blog and she had this post up about taking pictures or telling about 4 things that are in your office. Being a lazy whore and a thief, I immediately appropriated it for my own nefarious usage. So four things that are in my office ... the Photo Journey:

The Coffee Station

The freaking coffee station that I never use

Statues and figurines

Just a few of my statues and figurines junking up the place.

My Chef's Clock

This is my little Italian Chef Clock

and finally...

Aaaah. Candles!

A few more figurines and my extensive candle collection (Yeah, so I'm a girl. shaddup!)

There you have it. Wanna play along? Leave it in the comments or play on your own blog. Till tomorrow ... Tommy Out! PEACE!

November 13, 2006

What a difference a day makes ...

It's a

Louisiana sunset

Beautiful Day
by U2

The heart is a bloom Shoots up through the stony ground There's no room No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

Can you say "manic/depressive" boys and girls? How about "Bi-polar?" I knew you could! I'm so proud. **sniff**

November 12, 2006

I'm lazy and I got nuttin ... shaddup

For some reason I am in a terrible mood today. Maybe it was looking through all those family photos that did it. Where the fuck did those times go? What the fuck happened between then and now? How did life get so fucked up? Why isn't it fucking easy anymore? I wish the fuck I knew. Think I could say fuck a dozen or so more times in this opening fucking paragraph? May-fucking-be. Fuck!
I did do something that made me feel good today. I know, this isn't supposed to be a fucking photoblog, but it is for right now. Get over it. There is an old rusted out car sitting in front of a trashed house that I see everyday on my way home from work. I think it used to be a gas station or something. I have been wanting to get out and shoot it for a long time now and today, I did. I went down there and shot 200 pictures. Here is a sample of my day.

Car and Shack

Car and Shack


Hood latch

Rusty hood latch


Comet logo

Comet Logo


Reflection in Bumper

Tommy in the bumper


There are many more than this on Flickr. Just hit the little badge in the sidebar and viola! You're magically transported there. I will have more on there in the next day or so, so check back (if you give a shit.) I'm off tomorrow so I'll try and have something so hilariously funny it'll make you choke on a cranberry. Or something profound, or ... just fucking something okay? Sorry. Remember boys and girls, Doctor Tommy says "Don't blog depressed ... blog drunk. At least then you have an excuse for the headache." Thank you Doctor Tommy, I'll be here all week.

What a difference ...

$6,000 dollars worth of braces makes. Don't believe me?

Before ...

Snagglepus

... and after

Ultra Glam

I rest my case.

November 11, 2006

Glutton for punishment ...

Okay, so I'm a glutton for punishment. Here are several more pics I found today. Enjoy.

This is my mom. All I can say is DAYUMN! Mom! You wuz a hawtie! I can see why dad fell in love with you. (Is saying that like ... IEW! or what? But you gotta admit, she is hot!)

Me Mudder

The original Mommy Gunn

This is my grandma. (My mom's mom)

Grandma Dodd

Grandma Dodd

And as long as we're posing for baby pics ...

Me and Kevin


Your humble author and his baby brother (3 weeks old,) Kevin


And to complete the embarrassment, May I present a true representative of the class of '80.

Senior 80!

Class of '80 in da hizzouse, fo shizze!

Have a good weekend all.

I have hit the treasure trove!

First off, I successfully accomplished the backup and reinstall of Windows last night. Yeah I was only up until about 4 (okay 6) a.m. (shaddup. Like you never got obsessed over anything in YOUR perfect life! Pffft) Everything seems to be working well (fingers crossed) and I am pretty happy with the result so far. I'll let you know.
I went over to my parents house yesterday. I seem to spend a lot more time with them lately and it's quality time ... adult time ... good times. Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are. I never thought I would hear those words coming out of my mouth either.
I told you their house flooded in the last torrential rain we had ... the first time in over a decade that's happened. Well it seems there is a logging company doing some clearing down stream from where the creek that flooded crosses their property. Apparently, the company has done something to block or restrict the creek, which was a contributing factor to the flooding that took place. My parents weren't the only house that got flooded so he and the neighbors are going to talk it over, take some pictures, call the police jury (our local governing body. Kinda like the county supervisors or something.) and have them come out and look at it and if they believe the logging company is at fault, possibly sue them. That's something, because my dad doesn't really believe in suing at the drop of a hat.
I went over there though and their bedroom had to be moved into the living room, the living room is now in the dining room, the floors have been stripped down to the concrete, baseboards and other things are having to be replaced .. it's a mess. If somebody besides Mother Nature is responsible, then I guess he should be able to get them to pay for the damages.
But the treasure trove ... Sorry, I got sidetracked there for a second. I found a ton of photo albums from the time they got married and the decade after. It was like stepping into another world, ya'll! It's a huge project I'm taking on but I am going to scan all those pictures in and save them. I can't wait to get started. You can't believe the shit that's in there ... pictures my dad took when he was in Korea and Japan, pictures of their early life together ... they even have a fucking branch from their first Christmas tree. I laughed my ass off!! My dad ... a sentimental girly man. (Shaddup, I just got something in my eyes. I wasn't crying. Pffft!) So all is well and I am reminiscing today. I can't believe I am showing you this, but this was one of the pictures I found. I present to you ...

The Young Gunn!

The Young Gunn!

In the words of The Church Lady, "Isn't that special?" Now shaddup and have a good weekend. Tommy out.

November 10, 2006

Woe is me ...

I have to backup my system this weekend and reinstall windows so if I'm not around, it ain't cuz I don't love you. Pray for me! Have a good weekend ya'll.
TG

November 9, 2006

Veteran's Day: The story of a Soldier.

It's Friday, November 10, Veteran's Day and I have the day off. Actually, I have the whole weekend off including Monday. Can I get an "amen" from the choir? Can you say Hallelujah brothers and sisters? The weekend is here! But I digress.

I don't know if I've ever told you this or not, but the military has been the most consistent thing in my life. I don't know about my grandpa, I'm almost ashamed to say I never asked, but there are a lot of things I didn't ask about his life including what he was like, what he did, as a young man.
I do know about my dad however.

My dad was born in a small town called Broaddus in East Texas. He had a pretty hard life. His dad, my grandfather, was a real, honest-to-God cowboy. He made his living punching cows and doing those other things cowboys did. His mother died of cancer when he was 16. But even though they were simple country folks for the most part, my grandma instilled in my father a love of reading. You see, even if they didn't have a lot or couldn't go anywhere, a vacation or adventure was as close as a good book.

My dad grew up reading Zane Gray westerns, the adventures of Jack London that took place in the great white north, Rudyard Kipling's tales of India and other books that piqued his imagination and took him to exotic locales on great adventures.

Pa Paw, Lilly, Dad and Mike

Pa Paw eventually ended up buying a garage and my dad grew up working for him, not necessarily by choice, helping the family out. He actually had to quit school, if I remember right, in his senior year to help out around the house. He eventually went back and graduated, something he always took a great deal of pride in. Even through all the hard times, he never lost his sense of adventure. He was fascinated by aviation and dreamed of flying one day. He figured the only way out of east Texas, the only way he would have a shot at living that dream, was through the military.

At the age of 18 he joined the Army and shipped off to see the world. During his 19th year, Dad found himself in Kansas City, MO where he met a 16 year old girl named Patricia Gordon. They fell hopelessly in love and were married in October of 1959. My mother-to-be left behind her life as a teenage school girl and took up the mantle and title of Army wife. Dad had grown up dreaming of seeing the world and he and his new wife set about doing just that.

Over the next 10 years, they spent time in Formosa (modern day Tiawan,) Germany and a few other places. They saw every castle in Germany. I swear, I have the slides! Ok maybe not EVERY castle but damned if I can figure out which ones they missed. It was a different adventure every weekend but somehow it wasn't enough. Dad had another dream and damned if he wasn't just hard headed enough to go for it.

Because of that, he found himself at the age of 30 going through flight school at Fort Rucker, Ala., competing against Soldiers in their early 20's. His reflexes were slower and he wasn't at the same level of physical fitness as his classmates, but he wasn't gonna let a bunch of snot-nosed flyboy wannabees bust his balls. So he busted his ass and graduated near the top of his class. He was an Army pilot and he was living his dream.

Dad spent time in Vietnam flying Cobra attack helicopters, a time in his life I've never heard him talk about. He came back and continued to serve. It was a good life being an Army officer ... and being an Army officer's kid. We moved to Fort Hood, Texas and spent five years there before his adventure bug got the best of him again. He put in for and received orders to the final frontier ... Alaska. It was the last real dream he had that hadn't been fulfilled yet. We loaded up the motor home and spent two weeks driving from Texas to Fairbanks Alaska. Talk about an adventure? Shit! It was a blast. (I'll post more pictures later, but their house recently flooded due to torrential rains and things are kinda spread out while repairs are ongoing.) Just trust me when I tell you we made more side trips and saw more esoteric shit on that trip than some people see in a lifetime.

After several years in Alaska, we were forced to leave. You wanna know why, look in the archives. You shouldn't have to go too far back. We ended up in Louisiana where we all still live today. Dad retired from the Army after 26 years. He then started a second career, flying helicopters offshore, flying medevac helicopters ... just flying. He retired from that job too and Now at the age of sixty*coughsomethingcough* is in a motorcycle club. He spends his retirement working on his four motorcycles and riding all over the country with a group of friends.

I was always proud of my dad because he pulled himself up out of what many people would consider poverty, although he never thought that and neither did I. He went for his dream and saw it realized, mainly due to his outright refusal not to let it happen. His hard headedness I guess you could say. I am proud of the service he gave to his country even if it started out as a means to an end. He fought this countries battles and for that I thank him. Everything I am today, admittedly not much, I owe to him (the good stuff, not the psychotic, erotic, self-delusional shit) Thanks Dad and Happy Veteran's Day. I love you.

Just so you know ...

Yes, I do smoke ... but only until natural lubrication takes over. Just sayin.


November 8, 2006

Last minute busting my ass ...

This is last minute but I just had to play. Procrastination has come around and bit me on the ass (again.) I have two stories due to lay out in the paper Thursday and only one and a half are done.

I was at work from 7 a.m. till 7 p.m. today and brought my work home. I busted my ass at work and now I'm busting my ass at home at almost midnight. Do you detect a pattern her? Yeah busting my ass when I'd rather be ...

My arse in bed

... laying on it. (Click through for mo betta. Warning! NSFW! Like this one is! Pffft) Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work so I can eventually get my ass in bed. I gotta be at work at 6:30 a.m. I'll catch all of ya'll's tomorrow. HHNT! Go see Os to find out what it's all about. Laters!

November 7, 2006

What seems to be the hardest word?

Go deep

My favorite comic strip!

I'm surfing around after I get home tonight. As an aside can I just say I love Bloglines. What? You aren't using Bloglines? Oh you should be. It will make your surfing more efficient I guarontee (that's Cajun for "really, really mean it".) Yeah it takes a little effort to get set up but once you do, you can tell in an instant who has a new post and who doesn't thereby saving you from clicking around aimlessly hoping to find new pearls of wisdom. I learned about it from Dawn and she's a smart chick.Thanks Dawn. But I digress.
I was at Ole Blue the Heretic's site (a fellow Louisianan) and his post today talked about people who say I'm sorry and then just go on and do whatever it is they are sorry about. Now I say I'm sorry a lot. I know that gets on some peoples nerves sometimes. I think it's just that I'm so used to saying it to keep the peace that it comes as second nature. I am married after all. I don't think I say it and then do what I say I'm sorry for. Like "Sorry I am taking the last donut," as I scrape the last one out of the box.
I generally apologize when people tell me that things I do affect them negatively. If something I do, some way I act, makes someone uncomfortable, I don't like that. I like to get along with others. I'm not afraid to voice my opinion and I don't care if you disagree or get pissed off about that, but as far as friends go, I like to get along. I try and treat people with respect and dignity but still, sometimes I do or say things that offend, dismay, disappoint or make them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I do things that they find abhorrent and really despicable. Now I'm not saying that what I'm doing is wrong in my eyes but we all have our own value systems and way of looking at things. We can agree to disagree and still be friends. (If you think I'm wrong about that, please tell me and tell me why.) My question for you is how do you tell someone you are sorry your actions have affected them negatively without saying "I'm sorry" or "I apologize?" Because I think that if you say it too much, it loses effectiveness and just sounds hollow. I know it bugs me to hear it coming out of my mouth sometimes. So what's a brother to do. Discuss and leave your opinion in the comments.

My Books

Internet, meet my book stack. Book stack meet the internet!

Next, I am a big reader. I have a BUNCH of books that I am in the middle of or waiting in queue for me to start. I am reading the Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton, Paulo Cohelo's The Alchemist, Karen Slaughter's Blindsighted and Kisscut, Margaret Attwood's Bluebeards Egg and Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. I have Katherine Dunn's Geek Love and Italo Calvino's The Non-Existent Knight and the Cloven Viscount on order and on the way.
I am still looking for suggestions. What turns your crank? I'm not afraid to read anything (any genre, title or author.) I just want to have a list lined up of other authors I may not be familiar with but that I may like. I have read The Red Tent by Anita Diamante and thought it was fabulous even though some may consider it a "chick" book. I am also looking for Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. With that in mind I leave the floor open to you. What keeps you up till 2 a.m. turning pages? This inquiring mind wants to know!

End of the Day

Goodnight all!

Why do I feel so old ... Part 2

Found on another (to remain nameless) random blog. I know (or am at least 99% sure) this person doesn't read me so I stole this and had to post it. I just thought it was funny as hell and made me feel really old. If she does happen to end up reading this ... you should know I'm not making fun of you, just feeling the creak of age in my bones.

We had a pretty busy day and when we got home I was soooo tired. I swear to god, I may only be 23 years old, but I feel like I am in my mid 30s sometimes. I was in bed at 9:30 last night and sleeping by 10:30. Shouldn't I at least be up late drinking or out somewhere?!?! Oh well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to try and remember where I left my Geritol and Depends, find my teeth and shuffle down to the courthouse to play checkers. See ya.

November 6, 2006

Life and everything else ...