So, I come home from work yesterday to an empty house. Not really a big deal as that happens quite frequently these days. Oldest son is feeding the economy, working at Wally-Mart and youngest is usually feeding his hormones (don't even get me started) with his GF somewhere. He has been hanging out with her lately and not calling, checking in or even telling anyone where he's at. He usually shows up (hungry, like I'm a fucking short order cook. HA!) about 8:30 p.m. This has been pissing me off so I told him he better be home when I got home from then on ... 6 p.m. at the latest. Yesterday I walk through the door and holler. No answer. I make my way to his bedroom. The door is locked but I can hear that the T.V. is on. I beat on the door and beat on the door. Still? No answer. I walk outside and check his window. It's unlocked so I slide it up and take a look around ... no son. My blood pressure hits the fucking ceiling and I am pissed! So I head back into the living room and continue reading my Anita Blake, vampire hunter novel, stewing in my own juices all the while. About 8:20 p.m., I hear the door open and here he comes, shirt off, rubbing his eyes. "So what's up?" I ask innocently. "Nuttin. I took a Tylenol PM and fell asleep." he lies without missing a beat. Luckily, in Louisiana, the decaying bodies buried in the swamp usually attract alligators so there shouldn't be any evidence left. Now I just need someone to take his place in the band so he won't be missed. Must be proficient at piccolo, flute, sax and piano. Good benefits with a great retirement plan. Fucking liars need not apply. Applications will be taken through the end of the week so get those resumes in order and show me what you got. Here's a little something to listen to while you get that paperwork in order.
Blue October
Hate Me
Comments
Oh we could trade some 'son stories'
From 13-19, that child pushed every limit...
Boys....
Posted by: addict | October 3, 2006 9:10 PM
Friggin teenagers....lol I have a afeeling one of my boys will pull a stunt like that.....I was lucky with the girl.....lol
Posted by: chelle | October 3, 2006 11:26 PM
I can surely sympathize with the unruly hormonal boy stories. Luckily for me, I didn't kill my wild child and he is finally becoming more responsible. (Knock on wood!)Of course, he's 24 now!
So settle back in with your Laurell Hamilton (you know, she's got a new book of short stories out that includes an Anita Blake), have a ... whatever you use to relax now and know it will get better. (You DO remember how we were as teenagers, don't you?)
Posted by: singbrla | October 4, 2006 7:04 AM
being lied to pisses me off faster than anything else i can think of. i feel your frustration.
Posted by: lime | October 4, 2006 7:21 AM
I still think we should be allowed to hang 'em in the closet at 10 and pull out the throughly aged version after 20.
Posted by: Seamus | October 4, 2006 11:21 AM
Sooo - what happened next?!?!
Posted by: Susanne | October 4, 2006 1:05 PM
Being the parent of 2 teenages, I feel your pain TG. Too damn bad we don't have alligators up here in Wisconsin, and the damn deer are vegetarian. *hugs*
Posted by: Chris | October 4, 2006 1:06 PM
I never did sneak back in through my window. Pushed a couple of guys out of it, but never snuck through it myself. At least it was a ground floor!
Posted by: NoOneInParticular | October 4, 2006 1:56 PM
Dam I play the trumpet. Hey, I know some great spots around these parts and no one will ever know.
Posted by: oleblue | October 4, 2006 2:46 PM
*tsk tsk*
Kids
Its why I'm sure Jimmy will be trucked off to military school at the first signs of puberty. haha
Posted by: Blondie | October 4, 2006 5:45 PM
I can play a pretty okay sax but not so great on the flute or piccalo. I'll peck on a keyboard too but not sure I can pass as a boy.
Posted by: Moosekahl | October 4, 2006 9:08 PM
God I love that song Tommy. My daughter is doing a lot of the same things...lying, coming in late, and now she's added smoking to her repetoire. Charming child.
Posted by: Felicity | October 4, 2006 9:35 PM
They don't stop with the trying to lie, do they?? My niece and nephew are STILL doing it to me, even though they've been caught every single time so far! And yeah, I'm with Lime...it pisses me off faster than anything.
Posted by: MamaKBear | October 5, 2006 9:16 AM
I hate being lied to. That will the kids jacked-up faster than anything else.
Let us know how the interviews go :)
Posted by: D | October 6, 2006 5:34 AM