**

Wow! Is it Thursday already? (Okay, technically it's Wednesday night but work with me here ... suspension of disbelief, remember?) First off, several of you commented on the picture hanging on the office wall in my last HNT. Here is a better shot of it.

This is one of the most powerful images I have ever seen in my life. We all think of Soldiers as rough, tough guys ready to lay down their lives for us in the pursuit of freedom. The juxtaposition of this big, burly, scruffy, battleworn medic tenderly and compassionately holding another Soldier in his arms as he cries just speaks to a part of me that I don't have the words to tell you about. The truth is that even the Marines in their sharp uniforms in the recruiting commercials, sold as the manliest of men, the cream of the crop, are human. They bleed and sometimes their minds are shattered.
Soldiers are not superhuman and sometimes the horrors of war are too much to handle alone. The other thing it illustrates is the cameradrie that exists between men with a common bond. A battle buddy is always there to help one pick up the pieces. These two men in civilian life, hell, in peacetime service for that matter, may have despised each other but in this here and now, they are together, sharing a pain that many of us will never know. The frailty of the one and the compassion of the other wrench my heart everytime I look at it. It's a poor copy of a painting I picked up on the cheap in Korea but in this case the subject matter moves me and that matters more to me than the technique or artist's skill .
Now on to the HNT and it's UGLY I warn you in advance. Meet "The Beast" ...

This is my foot. I have two. the other one looks much like this one. They are ugly and I hate them. I inherited my mother's feet when I was born. Hers are ugly too but at least she has all her toenails left and they look pretty good after a pedi with polish. I don't get pedi's with polish and did I mention? I have ugly feet. I have a total of seven (toenails that is) between the two feet. I hate them but am facing my inner self, coming to grips with my flaws and what's the easiest way to do that? Put them on the internet of course! Well that and wear flip flops so they are visible to all. Did I mention they are ugly and I hate them? Cuz they are and I do!
Now that I have totally grossed you out and embarrassed myself, I give you "The Beauty" ...

Michelle is a great chicka. I work with her and love her to death (as a coworker ya'll. Get your minds out of the gutter. Besides her husband (who is currently deployed to the Middle East) would kick my substantial ass) We share chocolate, gossip, a love of blogging and microwave popcorn together. I have been bugging her to do a guest HNT post on my blog for ... well, forever! She recently got a pedi and took a pic for me. so to wipe the horror of the beast out of your minds, I give you Michelle's cute little tootsies!
Everything else is starting to level out for me. Class is over. I have to take my final and I'm done so I should be a better blogger buddy shortly. I am taking a road trip to see a very good friend of mine and a fellow blogger this weekend. And finally, I've been sober for 66 days without slipping or even having the urge. YAY ME! This is me chilling on the front porch.

Yeah I know I started smoking again. BOO ME! But I plan to quit again once I get a little more sobriety under my belt. HHNT to all and I hope your lives are looking up as much as mine is. I love you and miss you all. Wanna get in on the fun? Go see Os. He'll clue you in. Laters ya'll! **MUWAH**

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 1:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (28)

Me: "So God, I got a problem."
God: "Yeah, so what else is new? You always have a problem."
Me: "No really! You got time to answer a few questions?"
God: "I guess. Sit down. Want something to drink? Simon Peter mixes one HELL of a White Russian."
Me: "No that's okay. I quit drinking remember? I could use an ashtray though if you got one."
God: "You're shitting me! You quit drinking? Who gave you the will power for that? Certainly wasn't me!"
Me: "Yeah I know. I been meaning to talk to you about that. Thanks for nuttin!"
God: "Hey! I'm a busy diety. You think I got all day to worry about you and your petty assed problems? You know, maybe ... and I mean maybe ... at one time I could have. But today? There's just too many of you assholes out there to keep track of. I'd have to bring in extra help and do you know what a union would do to this place? Shit. It just ain't worth it!"
Me: "I thought you knew it everytime a sparrow fell from the sky? I thought you were all knowing, all seeing ... omnipotent. I mean WTF dude?"
God: "Advertising, man! I'm telling you it pays off big time. Don't believe me? Ask Bill Gates. Windows my ass. Give me a Mac anyday."
Me: "So all that stuff that was written in the Bible is BS? That doesn't seem right."
God: "No it's not BS. There are a lot of good things in there. Song of Solomon, for example. Have you read it? That stuff is HOT! But you know, you leave stuff up to a committee and things come out not quite like they were intended. I'm just too busy to go back and correct it now. Once it's in print, things just kind of take on a life of their own. It's the old 'genie out of the bottle' problem. If you went to business school instead of getting that Mass Communications degree, you'd know what I meant. But I'm busy, you said something about a problem?"
Me: "Oh yeah, sorry. Look, I heard a news report the other day that the Catholic church came out against a new way of harvesting stem cells even though it didn't involve the destruction of embryo's. Was that your doing? Cuz I know a lot of people that could use that. Sick people, infertile people ... people with real problems! I mean, what's wrong with you? Don't you give a crap?"
God: **sighs** "Tommy, You know, I was kicking around a long time ago and things were pretty good. I could go where I wanted, do what I wanted without answering to anybody. But I got a little lonely so I made you guys. I was young, dumb and full of ... well you know. My point is I gave you knowledge, free will, a great way to procreate ... I gave you all the keys to the kingdom man! After watching you guys for a few thousand years, I got tired and took a vacation. I come back and what's happened? You have taken my manual and blown it all out of proportion. Some take it absolutely literally, some ignore it, and you know? That's okay! It's all good. That's the free will part of it you see. But what really pisses me off is when people start proclaiming things I didn't authorize in my name. Or telling others how they should live their lives because I want it that way. If I didn't want you to have that knowledge and use it, I could stop it today. I mean, for Christ's sake ... I made you guys, I flooded the fucking world. You think I couldn't smudge that petrie dish if I wanted to?"
Jesus: "You called daddy?"
God: "No I'm sorry son ... I just got a little angry there. You finished mowing the lawn?"
Jesus: "Um, not yet. I was waiting for it to get a little cooler to finish."
God: "COOLER! Jesus Christ! It's heaven out there. Get your ass on that lawn or you ain't going to the movies Friday night!"
Jesus: "Whatever!"
God: "Kids .... pffft. What you gonna do with them these days. Now where were we?"
Me: "We were talking about knowledge ..."
God: "Oh yeah. Look, the bottom line is that I'm still here but I have a lot of stuff on my plate. I take the occasional glance at what's going on down there. I get reports all the time but you know? You guys could do a lot more for yourselves if you'd just have a little faith in the tools I gave you. Your brains for one thing and your concience ... your sense of what's right and wrong. It cracks me up to see how you guys molly coddle murderers and rapists. I'd have fried them a lot quicker than you do, but that's just me. And what was that whole Martha Stewart thing about? Talk about overkill!"
Me: "So we're just supposed to muddle by? Doing what we think is right without any guidance from you and just hope everything works out? Thanks for nothing! That's really helpful!"
God: "Look, I have it on good authority that devine intervention is HIGHLY overrated. But just because My hand doesn't reach out of the clouds to point out the right exit on the map doesn't mean I don't care. I gave you the map for Chr ..., er, My sake. You got the tools boy, Open your freaking eyes and use what I gave you. You know sometimes your whiney asses really piss me off!"
Me: "Wow, sorry God. I never really thought about it that way before. So it's okay to use what you gave us and it'll work out? I mean there are some really fucked up people in this world."
God: "I never promised you it would all work out the way you want it to. People are still gonna make bad decisions ... I mean look at Hitler. I had to mobilize just about the entire world to stop that whack job, but it was YOU people that actually did the hard work. Because you knew he was wrong and took a stand. All I'm saying is listen to your heart and use your brains. I put what you need in there, you just gotta shut up and listen to what they are telling you. Don't be selfish. Think about others now and again. Most importantly though, you should live like there's no tomorrow. That's what I want for you. Trust me. If things get too far out of hand, I still know how to lay a nasty assed smack-down on ya'll."
Me: "Ya'll? You from Texas?"
God: "They don't call it My country for nothing boy. Just remember that. Anything else?"
Me: "Yeah. I don't suppose you could give me Wednesday's ..."
God: "Fuggetaboutit. You're just gonna have to trust in the quick pick computer like I do. Now go ... and don't forget, just like He-man, you have the power. Don't be afraid to use it. Stop by again sometime, maybe I'll throw some shrimp on the que and we'll split a pitcher of Margaritas ... oh wait. You don't drink. I'll have a Diet Coke for you then. Just remember, I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
Me: "God? Thanks. I appreciate that. You're not at all what I expected you to be like."
God: "Now that's the first inteligent thing you've said all day!"

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 3:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

I am a complete idiot. Don't say anything ... just agree. Thanks and HHNT everyone.

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 7:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (24)

Tommy Gunn is really ...
Spider-Man
No shit! Really!
Spider-Man, you are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility. You are also hung like a horse and your sexual prowess (read: staying power) is legendary down at Justice League Headquarters ... especially with Supergirl and Batgirl. (Hey, blame the quiz. I don't make this shit up!)

So what superhero are you? Some pussy like Plastic Man or Captain Caveman I bet. Don't believe me? Find out here.

Have a great Friday and an even better weekend ya'll. I got a hot date with Batgirl ... and Supergirl. Hope my stamina holds out!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I just got two e-mails returned as undeliverable from me to people I never even heard of. They are spam e-mails that it looks like I sent. I am going to have to try and figure this out but in the meantime, if you recieve anything from me that looks like bullshit, it is! I am not a spammer and if I find out who did this I'm gonna be pissed (not that I'll probably ever find out because these assholes are slimy that way.) In the interim, let me apologize in advance if you have recieved any of this garbage. That is all. Try and have a great humpday. Arrrrrgh!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 9:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

The lovely and talented Tish has tagged me. Apparently I am supposed to come up with five things that are weird about me. Tish, I gotta tell you, it would have been much easier if you had asked me the five things that are normal about me but I'm always up for a challenge sooooooo ... here goes.
1. I would rather spend time in the kitchen than just about anywhere else in the world. I LOVE TO COOK Ya'll. The weird thing is, I can't cook in a dirty kitchen. It has to be spotless before I even break down the first veggie. I mean no dishes in the sink, stovetop cleaned, counters disinfected, etc. Not that I'm a germophobe or anything but I just like a neat work area.
2. I can roast garlic (cut whole head in half, lather with good olive oil, salt and pepper, wrap in tinfoil and stick on rack in oven for 20-25 minutes @350 degrees.) Well what's so weird about that? I see the puzzled look on your face as you ask yourself that question. What's weird is that as soon as it cools down, I grab a fork and eat it for a snack! Mmmmmm. Nectar of the Gods, ya'll. Oh and I also eat pickled garlic cloves like candy. No vampires getting near Mrs Gunn's number one son ... or mosquitos either and in Louisiana, that's a good thing!
3. I love to take a woman shopping. Not grocery shopping. No, that would be too simple. I like to take a woman clothes shopping. I love picking out outfits for the women in my life and damn it! I'm good. Oh I also accessorize like a mother fucker ladies. Although you couldn't tell by my personal wardrobe which consists mainly of shorts, t-shirts, flip flops, jeans tennis shoes, athletic jerseys and baseball caps. Go figure. Oh and don't even take me NEAR Bed, Bath and Beyond. I'll have an orgasm and we'll be there for hours. Ditto art stores, book stores and hardware stores.
4. I am politically astute and, as a former news producer, used to be consumed by the news. Two papers per day, all the news shows, political shows and Sunday morning talk shows. My perfect Sunday morning used to be three eggs, grits, bacon and toast; paper in my lap; sitting in bed and watching Goerge Stephanopolus' 'This Week', Tim Russert's 'Meet the Press' and Chris Wallace's 'Fox News Sunday.' Thank God for TiVO! Now though? I still know what's going on in the world but these days, I'd rather read a good book than watch TV or read the paper.
5. Languages have always come easy to me. I travelled the world with my dad (in the military, not on an Onassis style yacht ya'll. Gimme a freaking break.) Although WAY out of practice, I can speak passable Spanish, some Korean, very good German and a little French. I was in Paris one day and ran into a guy on the street. I wanted to ask him a question but couldn't. You see, between the two of us we knew seven languages but there wan't a single one we had in common! I laugh my ass off about that to this day.
So there you have it. Five wierd things about Tommy that you could prolly give a shit about. I'm not gonna tag anyone but if you want to pick it up feel free. Let me know in your comment and I'll stop by and check yours out (No really! I promise! WHAT! A guy disappears for a few weeks and you think he's never coming back and can't be trusted again? Pffft.) As for the other Friday shit, I am sitting at work as I do this and it will probably be the most productive thing I do all day. I might as well be at home ... cooking. OH or I could go shopping! I saw the cutest pair of shoes at this little ...

HAPPY FRIDAY YA'LL!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Sometimes friends, friends you have known for a long time, can really turn into cocksuckers. I don't know why that is but it seems to be true and it saddens me.
Family can sometimes fill a void that's left in your life and that happened to me this week. You know my dog died last week. This week my sister in Houston sold her house and moved into an apartment. Unfortunately the apartment doesn't allow pets so I inherited them (at least for a while, my brother may end up with them eventually.) So without further ado, meet the two newest members of my family.

Meet Abby (lab) and Harley (cocker) How could you not love a face like this? And finally ... The foot I'd like to put in someone's ass right about now.

Have a good work week everybody!

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 4:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)

Ok. I know. I don't blog as much and I don't get around to your blogs as much either. I try to hit a few now and again but I just don't get there as often as I used to. Or maybe I get there but just don't have time to comment. Hell, I used to IM with about a half dozen or so people throughout the day, every day and into the night, and that has almost come to a halt as well. I hate that in a way cuz I really do love ya'll. I'm not being stuck up or anything. I hear ya. "So what happened Tommy?" you ask shout demand! "What's the deal? Tell us!" Ok, I will, but remember you asked!
Y'see, I'm taking a class. It's an introduction to PHP and MySQL (web design stuff if you don't know) and it's taking up more time than I expected. I am also taking (or half taking) a government course. Kinda auditing it. On top of all that, I'm also acting as a study-buddy for a girlfriend of mine taking an American History class. I can't believe I am saying this but I am back in school and I am LOVING IT!
As if that weren't enough, things at work are a bit crazy too. Funny, but they expect me to write shit for publication since they are paying me and all. I know! I don't understand it either. Maybe one of you business people could explain it to me one day. Seriously, it's a busy time for me. I'm sorry. I know it's no excuse but I don't see it changing anytime in the near future. You see next up for me is a four-class block on web design proper (HTML and other shit) that starts in September. It's something I've always wanted to do and by God, now that I'm not drunk all the time, I have time to do it (and the desire too. Go fucking figure!)
On the personal front, the divorce is still going forward. I should be moving out and starting the seperation process very soon. It sucks but there's nothing to be done about it now. And that pain I was going through before? The shit that ripped my heart out and ate at my guts day and night? Gone. Everything is soooooo good on that front it's scary. In fact, it's never been better. If it gets any better, I just might blow a gasket or explode ala Mr. Creosote in Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life!!! (One of the greatest movies ever made in this authors's humble opinion) No shit! To tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever been happier!
Thanks to all who care or cared enough to still come by and drop me a line. It means a lot to me. I am going to try and do the blogger bombardment thing on the weekends so I'll at least check in, catch up and leave you a line once or twice a week. And there's always HNT! Speaking of which, no matter how busy I get ...

I always have my eye on you

And if you got nice boobs, maybe even two eyes! So I guess we'll see you around the bend now and again. I do love you all. Seriously! Wanna get in on the fun? Go see the Wonderful Wizard of Os. He's the one who hands out the brains, hearts, and courage after all. HHNT everybody. Now lets get Nekkid!
p.s.: If you want to know when I post without making the effort to come by? Put your e-mail address in the box at the top of the sidebar and I'll do all the work for you. Yeah, I'm a great guy that way ... trust me, she did! (course she ended up knocked up soooooo ...)

Posted by Tommy Gunn at 6:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (25)