Susie over at Susies the Boss offered to come up with five questions for anyone that wanted to answer them. So, being the narcissistic attention whore nice guy and great friend that I am, I promptly got sucked into volunteered to be a part of her attempt to find out information she could blackmail me with great experiment. Here are her questions and my answers to them.
1. Hi Tommy! You've been through hell in a handbasket lately. Howya doing? (You may get as personal as you like, since the answers go on your blog.)
Things have been moving along. For all of you who don't know, I am going through a divorce. It is amicable for the most part but we do have our days. Things are ... moving along as smoothly as can be expected on that front so I'm good. On another front, I almost ruined a friendship that means the world to me. The process of nearly losing that friendship forced me to do some very deep soul searching. As a result of that, I have quit drinking. It was my problem with alcohol that caused all or most of the problems between me and this person and I care too much about them to let that continue. I quit for me and because it was the right thing to do, but also a little bit for her. And I'll tell you the truth ... sometimes I want a drink ... badly. I think that I could do it. Just get the beer and go home and get drunk. No one outside the house would ever know. NO ONE would find out. But the thought of losing that friendship that I care so much about knocks that fucking thought right out of my head and the desire right out of my body. You see she would know ... somehow, she would be able to tell (probably because I would feel so guilty I would tell her) and I couldn't face her knowing that. Monday the 17th is three weeks sober for me ... 21 days and I really feel good about it. The emotions are coming under contol and I'm really starting to like the person inside me. I haven't talked with him in years and we are getting reacquainted but it's working out beautifully. Yep, looks like the kid's gonna be alright. **crosses fingers** Thanks for asking.
If you're interested in reading the rest, click on the continue link below.
2. I know that you make beer, Tommy. Rumour has it that you have two flavours in which you went so far as to have lovely ladies pose for your labels. Is that true? So, tell us a little about your beermaking hobby and how you got into that, and tell us about the newest beer you have brewin!
Yes Susie, it is true. Two of my favorite bloggers, the ever luscious and tart Lime and a certain unnamed blogger who is into all things Indian and Tori Amos did agree to model for my beer labels. One was for a Caribbean Lime Lager and the other for my Bengal Tiger Brew. I hope to have the labels done and ready for public consumption in the very near future.
I got into making beer several years ago. For Father's Day, my family bought me the Mr. Beer beer brewing kit.The first beer I made was a raspberry wheat beer and several friends told me they would buy it from me if I made another batch. That beer was spectacular and I was hooked. It does take beween three and five weeks from start to finish so it's not a quick process but there are so many flavors and different beers to brew that I don't mind the time. There is just something about hearing that "Pffft" when you pop the top on that first beer of the new batch and see the head form as you pour it into the glass. And drinking a beer that you made with your own hands is just sublime. I now have three kegs that I can have fermenting at the same time so it's pretty cool. My personal favorites are the darker, stronger beers. I also like hard ciders ... a lot! LOL. Unfortunately (or not as the case may be) quitting drinking has put a temporary hold on my beer making schedule. I do plan on making another hard cider and also a pumpkin lager soon. I would like to have them ready just before Thanksgiving. Kind of a fall special. I am also considering a Christmas and New Years beer.
3. Being in the military, you've lived in lots of different places. Tell us about some of the very different and unique places you've lived or served, and some of the really unusual parts about those places, and you know, is it true, Tommy, theres no place like home?
I joined the Air Force in 1985 mainly to get out of my parents house and because I had been dating my fiancee for almost six years. I had no prospects and had to do something. It seemed like the best thing to do at the time. So after basic training and advanced training to learn how to be a mechanic, I came home and got married. Nine days after that I landed in Frankfurt Germany on my way to my first assignment at Ramstein A.F.B.
Germany was freaking awesome ya'll. I mean how many places can you drive up to McDonalds and get a Big Mac and a beer? I was in heaven! The food was great, the beer was great, the people were great ... I loved it so much I would go back in a heartbeat. I lived in the communities outside the base and learned to speak German very well. My oldest son was born there. Germany will forever hold a special place in my heart because of that.
There is something about driving along the Rhine River and seeing the Castles occupying the high ground on the hills lining the route. It really gives you a sense of history. Or gathering a few friends, a bod bag full of Apflesaft (an apple schnaps ... yumm-o!) and hitting the woods for a nice five mile walk. Of course there are stops to eat and drink along the way. They are called volksmarches and are events sponsored by a club you can join. You get patches and pins and other rewards for completing each one, and some are highly sought after. But it is just being in the beautiful countryside having a good time with family and friends that is the real reward.
Add the fact that Paris, Luxembourg, Italy, Amsterdam and England were only hours away by car and it was fucking perfect. Every quarter or so we used to take the trip to the World War II cemetery in Luxembourg. General George Patton is buried there at the head of thousands of American military men who lost their lives on foreign soil attempting to stop Hitler's plan for the conquest of Europe. The headstones are white marble and are shaped like crosses or Stars of David. They are laid out in a geometric pattern and it is just incomprehensible that the Soldiers buried there are but a part of the total of Americans that left loved ones behind, never to stand on American soil again. I have to tell you, it was the closest I've ever come to feeling like I was standing in a holy place. It really was a spiritual pilgrimage. The most poignant heart stirring thing there was looking at a cross with the inscription "Here lies a fallen comrade known only to God." There were waaaaaay to many of those sprinkled throughout the cemetery. It made you wonder if the families still wondered. BUt they could pick any grave and believe it was their loved one buried there and take comfort in that. That is part of the whole idea behing the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Families can tell themselves it's their loved one buried there and move on with their lives. But I wander, sorry.
I also spent a year in Korea which was a trip. The Koreans outside the base specialized in catering to the military serving there. There were (and I exaggerate, but not by much) 9,000 bars, 4,500 sewing shops and street vendors as far as the eye could see selling everything form fried wontons to strings of freshly roasted chesnuts. The sewing shops were phenominal. Bring them a picture of something out of GQ and you would have the outfit in two weeks custom made for pennies on the dollar. Yeah, it was an O Sak San original but for the price? Shit. You could also get boots made from any kind of skin you wanted, Elephant, Ostrich, Gator, Snake, Rhino ... they had it all and would measure your feet in seven different places. The boots fit like a glove when you slipped them on. Amazing.
The bars played loud American music, served ice cold beer that sometimes smelled and tasted like skunk and had strippers who, if you paid their bar fine, usually about $50, would go home with you and spend the night. Tehy also worked off their rent by playing "juicy girl" between turns on the stripper's pole. They would sit with you and rub on you and talk to you and pay attention ... as long as you kept buying them drinks. A drink was a small glass of orange juice that cost around $5. The bar paid their rent, bought their clothes and paid their bills and that was the way they worked it off. The funny thing is every Korean stripper had an American name. "Hi what's your name?" "My name, Amy." "Really? your mom and dad named you Amy?" "Well my real name is Chu Sux Dix, but my friends call me Amy." "Riiiiiiiiight!" And don't even get me started on the mamasans. Little old ladies that squatted on the sidewalk and gave sales pitches as you walked by. "Hey GI. Got nice girl. Big tits. She love you long time! (or until you came the first time) C'mon Gi." Man it was awesome ... er, or at least that's what my friends told me. **cough*cough**
One time, we were in a bar waiting to see the hot wax show. A stripper with a bundle of candles did her thing and let the hot wax drip all over her while she did. Highly erotic until you saw her up close or in the light. We had just ordered our beers when there was a mettalic clank and a huge explosion. I thought we were dead. Luckily it was just a simulated concussion grenade that let off smoke. My ears were ringing for several hours after that and, to top it off, when we hauled ass, I left my fucking beer on the table! The night sucked to say the least.
The people were great though. There were a bunch of us (about 20 co-workers) who hung together and did everything as a group. We were each other's family during that remote tour and we acted like it. We got up Sundays and started with bloody mary's and Paulla Abdul and finished that night with soju, yogurt and 7-up. Soju was a drink that kind of reminded me of really bad tequila. It tasted horrible, hence the yogurt and 7-up, but it would make you invincible until you passed out! We also shared each other's lonliness and joys together. We really got close. We bought (or cut down, shhhhh) a Christmas tree and hung empty beer cans on it for decorations. Christmas morning, we gathered all our presents under the tree and passed them out just like a family. It was beautiful and I will never forget it as long as I live. We also worked better together than any group of people I have ever had the pleasure to know. They were a special group of people in my life and I miss them.
The country was beautiful and you know what I felt about the kids. It really was one of my favorite places to have served. But Susie ... truly? Dorothy was right. There really is no place like home.
4. Tommy, tell us about your DJing days!
When I got out of the Air Force in 1994, I decided I wanted to be a DJ. I had no experience but I knew I would be good at it. I had the voice, the sense of humor, the musical knowledge and I was an attention whore. What more did I need? Oh yeah ... experience. Well, I didn't have that but I had a set of balls that would have made Donald Trump turn away in shame! I called the local radio station and talked to the program director. She asked if I had any experience to which I promptly answered "I know where the on off switch is and how to adjust the bass." She actually appreciated my honesty and made an appointment to see me. I went down and hung out for two weeks getting coffee, filing shit, learning about the business by observing, helping out where I could ... oh did I mention I hadn't been hired yet? Yeah that was the only thing wrong with my little scheme but eventually they put me on the midnight to six a.m. shift and let me do my own thing! I was rocking ya'll! It was in this little trailer way out in the woods with a tower right outside the back door. I had drunks come in all the time and just walk right into the control room like they belonged there. It was definitely an adventure. We also had a ghost. I know, I know ... but really I wasn't smoking or taking anything then. I swear three or four times a week, out of the corner of my eye, I would see someone walk by the window in the control room. but when I searched, there was no one there. The first few times I thought it was just nerves. I made a joke about it one day and several others who had worked overnights confirmed seeing the same thing. It was weird.
Four months into it, I got a call about three in the morning from a guy who claimed to be the program director at KYKZ-FM in Lake Charles. He talked a bit and told me to send him a tape and resume. I was thinking to myself "Someone is fucking with me hard. Is this some kind of initiation?" I assumed it was and just blew it off. Well a couple of days later, he called back and assured me right off the bat he was the real thing and he would really like to talk to me. I found out later, he had this huge antenna and used to sit up nights scanning the airwaves looking for new talent to develop. I interviewed, was hired and spent the next twelve years there. It was the best job I ever had. I had the run of the radio station at night, I was free to develop my own style and, not to brag, was very good at what I did. I also got into commercail production where I really hit my stride. I could write the copy, voice the individual parts in different accents, put the sound effects there and turn out a very creative, entertaining radio spot.
I also got so much into country music that it became my life. If you wanted to know what was going on in the world of country ... statistics, gossip, top 50 titles and artists, lyrics ... I mean anything, I was the guy to ask. I loved getting out and meeting people on remotes and was requested for many time and time again. I could make a tiddly winks contest sound like Times square on New Year's Eve ... you just had to be there or you would regret it. It allowed me to get comfortable speaking in public to large groups of people and forged my wit and ability to bullshit through any situation. I honestly feel it was what I was meant to do. The problem with radio though is that it's a game for the singe and the young. I was the exception to the rule ... I lasted all those years with the same station. Most people are there for a number of years ... two or three ... and then off to the next city and next gig. It did allow me to go to college full time and get my degree though and that was the best thing that came out of it. Toward the end of my tenure, I let my hair grow out past my shoulders, dyed it blonde and eventually ended up with four earrings in my left ear. Not a big deal now but at the time not exactly the clean-cut, George Strait, country image the station was aiming for. I used to joke that I was just ahead of the curve ... the emerging face of country music. Now I look at people like Trace Adkins, Keith Anderson, Keith Urban and realize, I was right! I was the cutting edge. They were just to dumb to see it!
I was good until I wised off to a corporate bigwig at a meeting we were having about budget cuts. Three months before graduating college, the station decided they needed to go in another direction and I was fired. I found out later it was also because the general manager and I were drunk after the Christmas party and discussing something in the parking lot. Nothing work related, just drunk talk. He was going on and on and I finally told him "Would you just shut the fuck up and let me make my point?" That and busting the bigwigs balls got me released. After graduation I started my career in TV news as a photographer and producer. I did get hired back at the station part-time (after the GM had moved on to greener pastures) and worked weekends there until we had to move after Hurricane Rita.
5. Ok Tommy, for this last q, which is not really a q at all, I want your top five deserted Island CDS, yes, you get to pick entire CDs! Yay!
1. The Beatles ... No 1's
2. Bob Marley ... The Essential Bob Marley
3. Willie Nelson ... Willie Sings Christopherson
4. Pink Floyd ... Animals
5. Jimmy Buffett ... Greatest Hits
There you are Susie. Everything you wanted to know about Tommy and finally weren't afraid to ask. If you have any follow up questions, submit them to my secretary in triplicate and I will get to them as soon as possible. Thanks for asking. Hope you enjoy the multi volume book I wrote and I'll talk to you later. Have a great week doll. For anyone else who waded through this drivel, thanks but you should probably take up a more intersting hobby ... like watching paint dry or something. Tommy out!
