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Have you, especially the older ones out there, come to a point in your life where you had to make a decision? I mean a life altering decision. A decision that won't only affect you but your immediate family, your extended family and even a few acquaintances?

That time is upon me.

I don't know how I came to this point in life. I have been a problem child since as early as I can remember. In Germany, I rode off with a guy on a bike. I missed my bus and he offered to give me a ride home. Come to find out he had stolen the bike. He rode me into downtown Frankfurt ... yeah, downtown fucking Frankfurt, Germany. He ran away leaving me holding the bag ... er, bike. Oh and did I mention I was maybe in second grade at the time? That was the first time I learned not to trust people.

I was a military brat and was used to moving every couple of years. The friends I made were pretty superficial because after all, why get close to someone if you are only going to have to say goodbye in a couple of years? This time the move was to Alaska.

My first day there I fell in with the smokers and, unfortunately, that was where the druggers hung out too. It wasn't long after that that I took my first hit of weed and it was off to the races. The next two years of high school were really a blur. I got into theatre and that taught me how to really be fake. I was fucking smooth, y'all. I also got the lead in just about everything I went out for. I could sing, dance, act ... I was somebody to those folks ... but deep down inside I knew I was really a loser among more losers.

My relationship with my family was shit. I ran away at the drop of a hat. I spent months on the streets of Anchorage, stealing or selling dope for food, getting high ... just slumming and I was the happiest kid you could meet when I was on my own. I didn't need anybody. I had me and I was enough.

My parents were good people. They were strict, but generally fair. In no way did they deserve my treatment of them. I used to sniff gas for kicks. My dad was an avid sportsman. He hunted, fished, boated ... all that outdoors shit. He also kept a workshop in the basement. It had all his sports related stuff in it and was kept locked cuz ... well, I was a stoner and a thief.

Just to prove it, I broke into the workshop and sniffed the boat gas tank until I passes out and pulled it on top of me, spilling gas everywhere. My immediate, rocket-science response was to get every scented candle in the house to the basement and light them to cover up the gas smell.

That accomplished, it was back to huffing. My dad found me passed out again, gas all over the floor, candles everywhere and proceeded to beat the piss out of me. Big surprise huh? I could go on and on but suffice it to say that the preceding episode was just another day in the life of Tommy. I ended up stealing a car and getting caught doing donuts in the school bus parking lot of a rival school as school let out. I could have killed somebody and it's only by God's will that I didn't.

That idiocy carried on to my marriage. I had been married for nine days when I was sent to Germany in the Air Force. I went to a whorehouse (which was legal in Germany) and got laid before my wife (who I had dated for four years) got there.

I continued that pattern while I was working at a radio station from 1994 to 2004. In that capacity, I had many opportunities to cheat on her and I took every opportunity. Finally, I started cheating on her on the Internet. She nailed me and called me on it. I had no excuses. She left.

We lived apart for a long time. Our parents and siblings made their opinions known, but I didn't give a fuck ... okay ... I DID give a fuck, but there was nothing I could do.

Well. My girlfriend and I broke up. I am getting therapy and my wife is willing to go with me. She had a boyfriend, so don't think she is totally innocent, but she never had one until I told her I wanted a divorce. Again, it was my fault.

In any case, we are trying to work it out. I don't know if it will work, but we will see.

Wish us luck.