**

What really irks me is that I have AOL and can send through there. I can go to my internet based webmail and send from there but, at home, I can't send a damn thing. At work, we have the same system I have at home. The same internet provider, the same modem, the same wireless router ... everything. When I try to send e-mail from there you'll never believe what happens. It sails right through. I don't understand.
After several hours mucking about in the guts of the program yesterday trying to fix it, I gave up and checked the Microsoft troubleshooter. No luck so I see their contact page. $35 bucks to ask for support via e-mail or by phone ... per problem! WTF? Are you effing kidding me? No fucking way am I paying to ask a question that someone would be able to fix in about two minutes.
Their site said if the software came preinstaled, I should contact the manufacturer of my PC. Good IDEA! It's still under warranty. I'll do it! I call HP and get hooked up with Apu who listens intently to my problem, repeats it back to me, takes my information(e-mail address, name, prommisory note for my first born, great-great grandmother's birthday, where I was June 19th of last year and what was I doing at that strip club ... you know the usual.) and then oh, so politely (tech support reps really are the politest people on the planet) informs me that he, Apu is not an IT guy and can't help me with my problem BUT he can transfer me to one who can certainly help get this straightened out. They have a plan. For 75 minutes of support, it will cost me $99! Ninety-nine freaking dollars! Now, if I'm not willing to pay $35 what the fuck makes this mental giant think I would go for that. Nothing because I hadn't told him yet my bad. I politely decline and he explains that if I don't use the whole seventy five minutes, what ever time I have remaining can be used free of charge over the next six months. Again, I politely decline. Obviously I am a cheapskate or destitute so he turns the page in his book to the chapter titled "This will get them for sure" and explains that in that case I can opt for the 30 minute plan. It's a much better deal you see. It will only cost me $59. How much sweeter can he make the offer? Have I hit the lottery or what?
Again, I politely decline. He turns to the "Get rid of them now!" chapter and informs me that he's sorry he can't help me but that I still have 200 odd days on my warranty and if there is any other problem they can't help me with, I should not hesitiate to call thankyouverymuch. Thus endeth my foray into tech support.
So I am sitting here after a few more hours of trying to figure it out and failing when what in my mailbox should appear? This friends:

Dear Tommy Gunn,

HP invites you to participate in a web-based survey designed to evaluate the
quality of service you received during your recent contact with them. BenchmarkPortal
is conducting this survey on behalf of HP.
Our records indicate that you recently contacted HP because you had a problem
or question while using your laptop. We would like to ask you to please take
a few minutes now to complete our web-based survey. HP will use this information
to help improve the services it provides to you.
Your responses will remain confidential, reported only in aggregate. By taking
the time to respond, you ensure that HP is aware of your needs as a customer
... and HP very much wishes to hear from you.
To access the survey, simply click on the web site address below. It will directly
link you to the questionnaire.

Somehow I don't think they really want to hear from me ... or at least they will feel that way by the time I am done. If any of you brilliant, intelligent, beautiful people in blogland have a clue as to what the problem would be, don't hesitate to call, e-mail ... whatever. I'm open to suggestions. If not there's an IT guy at work who might be able to help. Maybe it's time to look into a Mac?
Oh and as an aside, I hate when my friends, my circle or anyone else I know is in pain and can't seem to see their way out. There is a friend of mine in bloggerville that is in that situation today. Please stop for a minute and think about her, pray for her send her good vibes or whatever you can. I appreciate it and think she will appreciate it too. To her: It will get better, trust me on this. If I had half your strength, I would be twice the man I am. I am thinking about you.
Tommy -- out!